he has lived his life she has not he is holding her back she does not love him so why won't she get rid of him
2006-08-04 10:19:43 · 41 answers · asked by sharron 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As a man 2 years older speaking , I can't fathom living with a 25 year old. Though I may find a young women quite attractive , I would be to much the father figure to consider a relationship other than that of a casual friend much less live with one. My wife is a bit younger than I but this really is a bit much. In my opinion the relationship will not last and I think both parties have some issues they need to deal with. A man 47 is much, much more streetwise than a 25 year old women and could very easily bamboozle her and manipulate her . On the other hand she may be a bit materialistic and unwilling to wait for a younger man to acquire some of the nicer things in life (please no offense , you know better than I on this point , I'm just speaking as a stranger and outside observer). I see a big red flag and would not trust this man as a parent myself and would be most concerned about the manipulation of your daughter by this older man. All points taken though , there may not be a lot you can do other than asking your daughter about possible motives of an older man wanting someone her age maybe and giving her a few clues on the subject , I have a young daughter and would be very distressed myself in this situation so I understand how you may feel. Aside from this and expressing your concern you may just have to let her learn from her own mistakes and just hope they don't turn out to be to painful ones. Good luck to you !
2006-08-04 12:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know it's kinda painful, watching ur daughter throw her life away like that but opposing her won't help. It will only turn her against u and make her even more obstinate. U have 2 accept the fact that she is a grown woman and has the right 2 decide 4 herself what is best 4 her. The best thing u can do right now is 2 leave it up to her 2 make her own decision and tell her 2 do what she thinks is right. Explain ur point of view 2 her calmly but leave her free 2 make her own decision and be prepared 2 accept it, no matter what it is. Don't pressurize her.
Also, if, as u say, he is holding her back, she will realize it sooner or later and get rid of him. However, if they r meant 4 each other, they will work it out together. Have faith in your daughter. Good Luck
2006-08-04 10:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by kutegal.migita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is not the problem.....any man any age can hold back a person, it is your daughter's choice if she want to continue being with a person who is holding her back. Still, you can't change the situation, it is her decision, but you can talk to her and try to let her know that you are worried he might be holding her back, not because of the age difference, just because of how he treats her......so evaluate the situation, maybe your daughter has always been low on self-esteem, maybe she never had a real father figure....those are just some text book answers for a young woman being with and older man. You can try talking toher, but don't make her feel like you are intruding in her life, or that you are attacking her because of the age difference....if there is any real reasons for her not to be with him, besides the age, let her know about them. Also, you can try to spend more time with her, enjoy a few drinks you two as mother and daughter, go to a place where she can meet someone different, maybe she'll meet someone younger and get interested....but don't let her know this is the reason to hang out with her. Play it safe, because you never know what can cause a daughter to get away from her parents......so take it slow, analize the situation and make decisions about your position as a mother and a friend in her life.
2006-08-04 10:28:28 · answer #3 · answered by Honey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that it could work; my grandparents were close to 20 years apart. But.... if she does not love him, the only thing that you can do to help is be there for her. It kind of goes along the line of, if you tell children what to do then they will just do the opposite. The longer that you try to stay involved and get her away from the guy, the more she will resist. She will leave him sooner or later, which one depends on you. Even though I know that it will be hard to let go it will get her moving on her feet. She will always know that you don't think he is right for her, just tell her that you love her and that you always will, you only want the best for her. The guy may be a total looser, but simply say that he is not a horrible man, it's just that you see her going places farther than what he is going to be able to lead or follow her. You just don't want to see her hurt and from now on you will leave her be. This tactic will lower her defenses enough to see a clear picture, but it may still take a year to be finished of it. If she decides to stay then just say it was her decision and if she complains then she has only herself to blame. Sometimes we children get so upset about the things that go on in our relationships that we run to our mothers spill a horror story and then go on our way. We hardly ever share the tender moments of the relationship or kind words and deeds done. It scares and scars our parents to death and then we wonder why they don't like our mates. I have had first hand experience with this, I married the man, but now as time has gone on we all love each other very much. Emotions get super strung and words said, so just hold back and let things ride out. She will be fine, have confidence in yourself that you raised her to be independent and capable of making wise decisions.
2006-08-04 10:47:57 · answer #4 · answered by faith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she probably wants stability. I think she is tired of the guys in their 20s who have nothing of their own and who only want to party and one short relationships. If she doesnt love him, she probably respects and cares about him, money could also be a reason. She is 25 years old, she should know by now what she wants in live. If he is the one she wants to live with, it will work out if he also cares and loves her. Most older men do care about their girlfriends who are younger and spoil them. I dont say all of them, but to the most part. If i were you i would talk to her and see what she tells you. Anyways, she will be alright. Good luck.
2006-08-04 10:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by sandy02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the point? Does it have to work? What do you mean? Get married and have a family? Or be roommates for a while? I'm 44 and dating a girl who is 23! We enjoy ourselves and have a wonderful time! Not sure if we'll ever get "hitched up" for the long haul, but for now go out and enjoy life...what is the problem?
2006-08-04 10:32:13 · answer #6 · answered by TimKo69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a bit of paper and right on it the following.
Today you are 25 and he is 47.
When you are 43 he will be 65 & retired !
Wave it under her nose until it bleeds.
2006-08-04 11:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know? Or is that just your judgement of it? My father is married to a woman about 26 years younger than he is, and for now at least, they are perfect for each other. Maybe some day they won't be, but until then, they'll have more than most people do.
Try being more open-minded and supportive. It's her life.
2006-08-04 10:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by Alex G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are not abusing one another, if she is happy and continuing to do things that interest her, it could just be a friendship and roommate situation.
Cost of housing is high and many unmarried children live at home so perhaps she feels that she has more "space" living where she is. Perhaps that is the best living situation for both where they can be mutually supportive of one another.
2006-08-04 10:30:27 · answer #9 · answered by Lynda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a 22 year age gap! I think that she will get bored with him, they are way too far apart. Unless, they have all the same interest's and he is very active, and does more than work and sit at home! That will get old!
2006-08-04 10:23:30 · answer #10 · answered by SCALISI 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋