my wife had an affair and we divorced a few months ago, but we have 2 kids and she comes over sometimes and says she wants to spend time with me and she also invites me to do things with her, but she still sees this guy who she cheated on me with. we even still sleep together sometimes, and i have made it clear to her that i dont want her back. Anyone have a clue why she does this? because i have tried to tell her to leave me alone, but i admit i do enjoy time with her sometimes, so no harm done right?
2006-08-04 10:05:24 · 7 answers · asked by Brian 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Even though women may not want to admit it they get attached to the men they have sex with and in your situation it is probably worse! It seems as though both you and your ex still have feelings for each other. You say you do not want to start a relationship with her again and this maybe true. You continue to have sex with her because I am guessing part of you still wants to be around her. Having sex with her is not a good idea. You do not have clear boundaries with her. You cannot say I don't want to get back together but I will allow you to spend time here and we can have sex. You are giving her mixed signals. If you do not want to start up with her again then you need to act like that. The only reason she should be at your house is for the kids nothing else which means you two should not be having sex. She will continue to want more time with you if your actions do not change.
2006-08-04 10:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by strawberries 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are giving her mixed messages. She has an affair, you get divorced, but yet you go over and sleep with her. Pick a side, do you want her or not? If the answer is yes and you both agree, get counseling so the second time around doesn't work out like the first. If it is no, go find yourself a nice girlfriend. My ex and I just divorced and we are still friends, but would I hop in the sack with him - no way! Been there, done that!
2006-08-04 17:17:15 · answer #2 · answered by autumntrist39 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you allow her to. By you still sleeping with her gives her the hope that one day she could have you back but she keeps the other guy just in case. No matter what your mouth says your actions say other wise so keep your business in your pants and find another woman to spend time with.
Ps: I am sure this is no good for your kids, they need a clear definition as to where you guys stand, no matter how young they are.
2006-08-04 17:20:29 · answer #3 · answered by tall_slimm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's doing it because you are allowing her to. You don't need this or your children either. I guess you still love her but man try to get over her. The first time is shame on her. The second time is shame on you. I mean after all you did divorce her over it right. Now, you are giving her the idea that this is okay. Not cool man not cool at all. There are better women out there. I guarantee it. Women who only want one guy. Good luck!
2006-08-04 17:43:13 · answer #4 · answered by teacher1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of harm done! Your kids are going to grow up thinking this type of behavior is ok! Put your foot down and refuse to sleep with her again! She could be giving you an STD and you not know it! Who else is she sleeping with besides you and the other guy? If shes cheating on him with you what makes you think shes not seeing someone else??
I hope you dont give her money. She may just be doing this for money...using your feelings against you for your wallet.
2006-08-04 17:11:08 · answer #5 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's probably doing this just so she can say she can have her cake and eat it too! she is keeping you from moving on to something real
2006-08-04 17:11:26 · answer #6 · answered by scott's wifey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she gets her cake and is eating it too, your letting her do this and so is he apparently so she don't care who she is hurting as long as she gets what she wants.
2006-08-04 17:12:40 · answer #7 · answered by T agent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋