I have to agree with whoever said it sounded like an emotional reaction to getting smacked in the face with their own mortality. Seeing your parents die isn't an easy thing, even if you're expecting it. When we're little, they're superheroes, strong as superman and smart as a genious and gonna live forever, you know? Seeing them die just reminds you that someday YOU'RE gonna die. But I also agree that men don't handle emotion as well as women do. We're equiped to handle things like that, we're used to it, so we know what to do. Men are a bit different. When something's wrong, men tend to feel the need to fix it. I know it was really difficult for my husband to watch his father die of emphasema and they weren't close at all; they all but hated each other. And my husband is the first person to shut me out and walk away when things get too emotional. Sounds to me like just a difference in the way men deal. Or can't deal.
2006-08-04 10:38:31
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answer #1
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answered by I'm just me 7
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Could there be a chance that facing death so closely, the only one
closer would be his mother, or his child--that perhaps this made him face his own mortality on a new level?
Perhaps he did not like what he saw, and went away to gather his wits about himself, to be crazy like a kid on spring break, or to just cry until he could no longer?
We can never know for sure, but as for me, the depression I suffered after the loss of my dear mother, cost me 12 years of being in a mental place I could not escape from, and eventually , the destruction of my 22 year long marriage to a really nice guy.
Fear and anxiety, in the face of death and eternity, are different recipes with different outcomes for each one of us.
2006-08-04 10:08:17
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answer #2
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answered by susieque 4
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I hear you! My ex-h did the same thing. His dad died and after that everything went to hell. He went into this mood and never shook it off. He took off his wedding band and had an affair. His explanation was that his dad on his death bed told him topursue happiness and that exactly what he did! pursuing happiness with someone else. I divorced him a couple of years after that.
I don't know why thishappens but I have heard the same horror stories from other people.
I hope that any man will give an answer and provide some insight into this obscure, but common, issue.
Good luck
2006-08-04 10:02:53
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answer #3
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answered by Blunt 7
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My guess is that this phenomenon isn't restricted to only males. It is an accepted fact that females handle emotion better than males. At the sudden impact of being smacked in the face with ones mortality by seeing the next closest male in the family die, I suppose males freak out and put themselves into that position of realizing life isn't going to last much longer and there is so much more left to experience. Or something like that.
2006-08-04 10:01:29
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answer #4
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answered by T-Bone DeRage 2
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I lost my grandmother who I do love her more than anything and I do grieve once a while but had a daughter name after my grandmother and I really enjoy have Violet in my life and Tell My daughter why she so speical to have her great grandma name. I truly don't care what happen to my mom... but dad just died Feb 2006 but I hardly know him. i know him since 34 years i would say 3 months that how much i know dad. He told me that he was sorry for not be a great dad and he was sorry and wish that he could done it different. but I do love him and i don't cry hard or anything. But I have my other Uncle who just become my dad and very very close and if anything happen to him it will be harder for me with no dad.
But I have new mom and 2 sister and necie. to look after. I told dad if anything ahppen to you I will look after them.. he was very happy to hear that. becaue he do took me in .. I want to do something for him too.
Some people very close to Mom and Dad or grandma grandfather stuff like that. but all i know is that some not like me. so hope that helps.
2006-08-04 10:35:43
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answer #5
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answered by greenbaypackers1920 6
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I think it is very sad that these men didn't feel that they could share their grief with their wives, and frankly , I can see why by the tone you adopt in your question. Women can openly weep and wail. We have a coterie of friends who supply us with shoulders to cry on. Men in relationships with unsympathetic women obviously need to escape to grieve alone. How sad for them.
2006-08-04 12:35:52
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answer #6
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answered by Kitty 3
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I don't know anything but that we do weird things sometimes but I've never heard of that. Seems to me I would want to be close to my wife or girlfriend especially while grieving for moral support, etc. Sounds like a stupid excuse to me for those people to do those things.
2006-08-04 10:00:11
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answer #7
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answered by Bogie Boy 3
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I think it is a means of coping with the death of their fathers. I lost my Father 1yr ago. I was closed up numb, and most of all hurt. When my Dad died I didn't feel like me. It was like losing his strength along with mine, so I think that we substitute emotion, or activity to deal with the reality of our Dads being passed on. I don't think anyone should judge a persons reaction to death. I think the individual needs to allow the other party to mourn and allow the healing process to begin. You can never get over it. It carries with you from day to day and the years just seem like yesterday. So, be kind and understanding, he will allow you to voice your opinion if your not so forcing on him. and if it is letting him have his toys to cope with it, then let it be and when I mean toys I mean recreational activities and so on...
2006-08-04 10:44:09
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answer #8
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answered by skawp 2
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As far as grieving is concerned women are emotionally capable of handling death where as men lack that emotional strength
2006-08-04 10:04:48
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answer #9
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answered by Hillary 2
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It sounds more like a mid-life crisis. Maybe they need to get away or do things that they have never done- before they die.
2006-08-04 09:57:43
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answer #10
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answered by mightymight 5
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