Should i do what my hubby wants me to do?

Question

I just got married and my hubby wants to have kids, and he wants to start trying. I want to have kids but i am not sure if it is good for a marrige to get married and get pregnant. What do you think, do you think that i should try becuase i want to or wait a while till we get farther into our marrige?????

Answer 1

Go ahead and give it a shot. You are married, there is no sin in that. Yes kids will put a strain on your marriage but you have to learn how to balance them both.

Answer 2

If you want to wait, you definitely shouldn't try yet. You're the one who will be getting pregnant and carrying the baby for 9 months (I'm not saying that your husband won't be at all involved, but it's obvious that you're the one who will be affected more, by the pregnancy stage anyway). That being said, you need to sit down with your husband and talk about the reasons he wants kids right away...and why you don't. It depends on your marriage, financial status, etc. Some people start having kids as soon as they get married and that works fine for them, others need to wait longer for their relationship to be "established" before they start having kids. I've been married for almost two years and my husband and I have just recently started trying. My parents didn't start having kids until 7 years into their marriage. It just depends on you as a couple. If your husband is older than you, maybe he feels that it'd be best to start having kids before he gets "too old" while you don't feel the pressure to start having kids yet. Make a pro/con list if you have to, but don't feel pressured into doing it just because he wants kids now. On the other hand, he shouldn't be "denied" kids without knowing why you don't want them yet.

Edited to say: Please don't let anyone (not saying they will, but you never know) tell you to go ahead and start trying because it will take you awhile to get pregnant. It might, but it might not. One of my friends got pregnant (twice) the first time she and her husband tried, another got pregnant within three months. It could also take some time, but you never know. You don't want to start trying now even though you're not ready yet, assuming it will take awhile for you to get pregnant, and then get pregnant within the first month or two if you're not ready.

Good luck. Hope you're able to figure this out.

Answer 3

Kids easily ruin marriages.

Dont have kids until you get to the point where you dont even feel like you love each other anymore.

Once you get to the point where you are basically two people living in the same house but are pretty much seperate people, then talk about having kids.

I know this is profound, but accept it.

The best parents are the ones who are so used to living together that they couldnt imagine not living together, and at the same time so unfocused on each other that they can both afford to focus A LOT on the baby.

Answer 4

Kids only bring you closer, but the empahasis will be on kids, not you. And from experience, you can spread yourself thin. Kids are a lot of work, but so is a marriage. So wait if you feel the need, and talk with him about this.
I wish I had waited a while longer so we could have traveled, and fun stuff like that. But we'll be able to do that with kids too, just not the same. But hey, kids are here to stay, and I love them more than life itself.

Answer 5

Depending on how long you have been married and how much love security there is there. A baby being brought into this world is the most beautiful thing and can be so much fun. Just don't trap yourself. If you want to do it, do it, if you don't feel comfortable yet, what's the rush. Make sure life is working for you then bring other things into your life. Once you have a child, theres no turning back.

Answer 6

Having children will not spoil a good marriage, but if you would rather wait for a bit then you need to talk to your husband about this - a pregnancy should ideally be wanted by both parents who feel ready and totally happy with the situation. You shouldn't get pregnant because you feel under pressure to do so.

Answer 7

You are a couple now and when you choose to have kids, you will never be just a couple again; you will be a family. I'm not saying being a family is a bad thing by any means! Just that you might want to treasure your coupledom for awhile. If you BOTH want to get pregnant right away, go for it. But otherwise you need to have a talk and compromise between what he wants and what your concerns are.

Answer 8

It us up to you to decide...well the two of you should talk about it and decide together. My husband and I have been married five years, and recently he has become very interested in trying to have a baby, I still feel like I am not quite ready to take that step, I am almost 30yrs old and I am still in college trying to pursue a career first..it is a very difficult decision to make because I feel that you are never really ready, so I guess in a way I am leaving it in God's hands, if it is meant to be now, we shall conceive.

Answer 9

I would sit down with him and talk about it. Ask him why he wants kids right away, and talk about why you want to wait awhile. Point out some advantages about waiting, as well as changes that happen once you are parents (for example, it's nice to go out on moments notice without having to line up a babysitter). Also, make sure your financial situation is in shape as well, since baby care is expensive. I hope you're able to work things out. Good luck.

Answer 10

I just got married last year (June 4,2005) and I now have a 5 month old, we got pregnant the week after the wedding on our honeymoon. It hasn't hurt us, if anything I think we feel more into love then we ever were.