Things are hard for both of us. I am a teacher and love my job; but work part-time now because I had cancer. My husband can't make up his mind what job to do. Now he wants to be a melon farmer. He thinks I should give up my classes and work with him, but I know nothing about growing melons. I know I can learn, but I love teaching and spent years getting the qualifications for it. My friends say I have to support my husband's business, as the profit will be for both of us in the long-run. But I want my own money! And I don't want to never see my students again. I don't mind sharing my money with my husband if I make it happily. But I know he won't pay me a salary if I work for him. I am not happy with that. Everyone says "Remember - for better or worse". But if I can find more students and earn more money and give him a %; wouldn't that be best? Confused wife! Please help!
2006-08-04 08:47:42 · 22 answers · asked by kiteeze 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don;t give up your job. This is the only security that you have and starting a new bussiness is always risky, specially since he doesn't have any previous experience on the matter.
I suggest for you to support him but keep on working, You may give up your job when the bussiness is good, or else end up with no job and maybe no melons.
Good luck
2006-08-04 08:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not on your life! Not a chance! No way in hec! Oh and did I mention it isn't going to happen? Did you really go to school and get your teaching credentials to grow melons? Besides that might make you some extra cash about two months of the year, what are you going to do the rest of the time? Your friends are idiots and there how much profit do they think there will be from growing melons??? He said for better or worse too, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with being dragged through a melon patch!! There are limits. Let him grow all the melons he wants. You are a teacher, do the research, do the math, tell him to present you with a business plan including cost analysis and profit estimations. You don't need to give him anything, how about if he wants money he gets a JOB, a real one not some ridiculous cartoon theory about growing melons! Does he grow anything now? Does he have any idea how to grow melons? Ask him about soil conditions, fertilizers, pesticides, growing seasons, weather conditions....seriously just put logical questions that should be answered by anyone considering starting any business, when he can't answer them then he'll figure out that it isn't going to work.
2006-08-04 08:56:20 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that being a melon farmer is risky with all the weather problems worldwide. Being a teacher is rewarding and more sure (moneywise). If you had cancer, you know how brittle life can be. You should do whatever makes you happy. If you get along with your husband, opening a business with him can be fun, although you'll be together often. Also, I think your husband should not be selfish and let you do what you would like to do. Communication is best....
2006-08-04 08:58:38 · answer #3 · answered by cindy l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a difficult situation. have you thought about teaching kids part-time? I know that when my kids were homeschooled, I signed them up for all kinds of classes that I didn't feel comfortable teaching. Most of their teachers were ex-teachers who either got tired of the public school system or else were just wanting to work less hours. that way you could help your husband and still do the job you love.
As far as supporting your husband, how would you feel if he never got to live his dream? What would be worse? Him resenting you that he didn't get a chance to go for his dream or you having to sacrifice your career? chances are that his business will not flourish. I'm not being negative, that's just the reality of it. 4 out of 5 businesses don't make it past the first year. If he can't make it, you'll be back at your teaching job anyway.
I know it's hard to decide. Just try to put yourself in his shoes. And think about the times he's supported you.
2006-08-04 08:55:25 · answer #4 · answered by Mistress T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's a few ways of looking at this. Melon farming? It's a risk, isn't it? Who will bring home the bacon while you're both farming? How will you pay your bills, what will you live from? Let's not be selfish. If he wants to be a melon farmer then ok. But why should you give up your career to help him build one? Besides, what if it doesn't work? Then who will be to blame? Then how will you really live?
Good Luck.
2006-08-04 08:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by bella_mexicana_rellena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
babygurl..i am going to say it like this...never depend on NO man even if that is your husband..i wouldnt do it for the simple fact is YOU'RE right!..you do want your own money and you already stated he wont give you any..and thats not right on his behalf..how is he going to want you to quit your own job to help his and he wont share money with you even though you are helping..thats not right..i would stick to my career..and you are saying he changes his mind..thats an even more of a NO NO for you...if he changes his mind once..he changes his mind a million times..i had a ex..yesterday he wants this tommorrow he wants something else..and just think..you have a career as a teacher..and you both might be struggling even MORE when he gets bored with the melon farm and wants to try something else..i would leave the nice air conditioning of a class room of what i enjoy doing teaching students..to go be with my husband on a melon farm..sure "for better or for worse""..but in this case..just help him out a little..let him know you support him in whatever he does 100% but you love your career and you're not going to give up wat you love...thats a little deep but tell him how you feel and if he cant respect your wishes then you have a nother problem to worry about dont you? who wants to grow melons in the HEAT? i sure wouldnt..i wouldnt even have thought twice about it i would said NO from the jump. just learn on your days off or something..make sure you get involved just so he knows you care and you support him but i wouldnt leave what i love and my carreer for something i know nothing about and what if it doesnt even work out? maybe you could go on the weekends when you are off and work the melons with him and so how that goes and if you like it you can make that decision to do so...why not do both? i know you're not a teacher 24/7..all year long...take care! good luck!
2006-08-04 08:58:54 · answer #6 · answered by Calendar_Model 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually theres nothing wrong of helping the husband is good for both of u an dur family but hte problem u love teaching.when u two have separate jobs then more money become.is the same.u must ask ur husband why he wantn so ask him what is the difference between working separate and together?yes ur correct when u have ur own móney u can do what ever u want.u see when u work with me u become no cent.the wife doesnt need to hear teh husband all the time.we wife have our won mind and decison to make.only that i can help u i hope is mak eu little bit ok.
2006-08-04 08:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by cute sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not give up teaching to grow melons... o_o Think about if the business was to fail -- you'd both be out of your jobs, and you would've given up your passion for NOTHING! Just tell your husband that you want to stick with your current job because you love it and your students. He needs to learn to accept that. If he cannot, then you've got a problem on your hands!
2006-08-04 08:55:43 · answer #8 · answered by Slippers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask yourself if you can stand to compromise and give up your job to help your husband. If the answer is yes, then go for it. If you just can't tear yourself away from teaching then you should continue to do it and help your husband with his business. Try to make him feel like your making his needs a priority even if you are helping him on your own free time when you're not teaching. You shouldn't have to give up your dreams and things that make you happy. However, Marriage is about compromise...sometimes you put forth more effort and sometimes he does. hope this helps.
2006-08-04 08:56:41 · answer #9 · answered by missjessie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!!!!!!!! HES BEING SELFISH!!!!!!!!! your husband is running around like a chicken with its head cut off not knowing what to do and you are considering leaving your job?!!! and youve also had cancer!! hes sounds very irresponsible and immature. let your so called friends live with his job changing and selfish attitude! give up teaching? something youve worked so hard for, for what??? for a maybe this will work and maybe it wont!! how insane is that???!!!! what if the melon idea doesnt work out? then what will you do? will you still have medical insurance? you said he wont pay you a salary!! how selfish and absurd!!! yes for better for worse but not for stupid and assnine!!! you even share your money with him, but hed take you down to bankruptcy court and debt for a hairbrained idea like growing melons!!!! stop listening to your stupid selfish friends and follow your own heart!!! grow some balls and tell him to grow up!! if he wants to grow melons, let him do it on his own!! keep your job, security, money and do whats right for you!! if the business works out great!! if not YOU wont be left with nothing to fall back on. you said NOW he wants to be a melon farmer, how many jobs have you supported him through?? how mant hairbrained ideas have you supported him through?? you are very confused and i would consider counseling!!! its time for him to grow up and stand on his own!!! he acts and lives like a child, hes a grown man and should of already knew what he wanted to be when he grew up!! you are enabling his irresponsibility, its time for you to take a stand and say no-more!!!! you sound far to smart for this mess, clean it up!!!!
2006-08-04 09:22:03 · answer #10 · answered by kini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋