My boyfriend of almost 3 years has been suffering from anxiety lately and just began seeing a psychiatrist. I have always been the first person he would come to with problems and worries, and when he decided he needed professional help, it made me feel useless. I feel as though any advice I try to give him to make him feel better, he shrugs off and is relying on talking to his psychiatrist about it for a "professional opinion". I am a very compassionate person, so when he gets anxiety and is sad, I automatically want to help him, but it isn't good enough anymore. I just want to get over this and accept that he doesn't need my advice... does anyone have any suggestions on how I can deal with this? Thanks so much!
2006-08-04 08:14:50 · 5 answers · asked by CupidsTarget 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My husband has the same problem. When he gets anxiety, I usually lay him down (even if he doesn't want to) and try rubbing him everywhere. That usually helps to relax. He just get so fidgety and don't know what to do with him self. You have to understand that when you have anxiety the best way I can describe it, it feels like your going to die or the world going to end. There is nothing wrong with him going to seek help. Maybe he feels like he need meds to prevent him from getting them. I know cause sometime he gives me anxiety thinking he is having a heart attack. But we end up laying in the bed rubbing each other from head to toe. That take his and my mind off of what could be bothering him. Also when it comes on you usually don't know why or what it is about so maybe he just don't know what to say.
Good luck if you try it!
2006-08-04 08:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry things are not good between your boyfriend & your family. Can you see your parents' issues with your boyfriend? Is there a reason they do not approve of him? Is he abusive to you &/or your child in some way? Is he lazy or doesn't want to help provide for your son? Has he been disrespectful of either you or your parents? If there is some logical reason for your parents to dislike your boyfriend, then you need to step back & see it from their side, BUT if there is no reason, then you should be an advocate for your boyfriend to your parents. Try to help them see a more positive side to your boyfriend. If you & your boyfriend are committed to having a life together, then he & your child are your first priorities & your alliances must be with them. I would make it very clear to your parents that your child needs to have a positive view of his Dad. Grandparents can be a great source of emotional & financial support for your son. Besides, your son has their DNA too, even if your boyfriend doesn't like the thought, it doesn't change if from being a fact. Keep in mind that grandparents have more & more rights under the law these days, and I hope this does not turn into a legal issue for all of your sakes.
2016-03-16 14:06:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that happens. I've been married for two years and my husband has anxiety and he wouldn't listen to me, so he went (reluctantly) to a psychiatrist, and I think he appreciated the advice, not that he listened to it. So, I think its good that he has someone else to vent to, but he should still feel like he can talk to you about things in general. Hope this helps.
2006-08-04 08:28:09 · answer #3 · answered by ski2life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take this personally..first be thankful and grateful that he is *willingly* seeing a therapist instead of depending on himself to help him deal w/ situations. next, even tho of COURSE you have his best interests at heart, you are *unable* (i know, cuz u LOVE him, and Love is blind and alters/skews things) to give him a completely unbiased, outside- of -the- relationship Analysis of what he needs to do, or what his problems are about.... he probably also may feel that he needs to do this himself, instead of depending on you; it could make him feel like less of a man to depend on his gf to make decisions..does that make sense? just be happy, healthy, and supportive; talk to him about things, and be open minded, don't try to sway him one way or the other. if he asks for your advice, give it, but until then, let him handle it in this way. u need to give him a chance to do it on his own; if u try to solve all his problems, he will feel like he has nothing.
2006-08-04 08:21:29 · answer #4 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its easier to admit deep dark secrets to someone who doesnt hold your heart
2006-08-04 08:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by DearAbby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋