my boyfriend of 3 years always wants to have sex and I am finding it hard to be in the mood because we always aruge and yell. I feal that hes onley nice to me when he wants sex. now I find my sleff onley horny when hes gone I want to be turned on by him but every time I try I keep thinking about all the bad **** he says to me.how can I save our sex life
2006-08-04 07:46:05 · 32 answers · asked by love 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop worrying about saving your sex life and start worrying about saving your relationship with him. Something tells me that if the base of your relationship was going better, the sex wouldn't be a problem. Atleast not right now.
2006-08-04 07:49:57 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
this guy turns u off with his constant bullying and arguing. what u need to do is wake up, and make HIM wake up: if he doesn't make you feel loved, stable, healthy and happy, your body and subconscious is Suffering, starving for something more. simple physical stimulation is not working is it? =T..... that's why sex *should* be done w/ someone you trust and respect As well as Love, so that you are attracted mentally, emotionally and physically to that person, and the connection is played out through having sex with that person, not just cuz ur "horny".... there's more too it. at least i think there should be!! then u would feel truly satisfied and happy, instead of being turned off by him. to save ur sex life, u have to first save your Relationship: make boundaries, tell him exactly what you want in the relationship, how hard you are trying to make things work, and what he is not satisfying for you; if he listens and tries to work on it, that's awesome. he is at least a decent guy. if he gets angry, upset, or doesn't care and ignores your feelings, then u must seriously consider what you deserve. if you are a good girlfriend, then you deserve a good boyfriend. it doesn't mean u don't love him if you don't stay, it means that something wasn't working right and you have to let him go, to make yourself healthy and positive. don't feel like a failure that u can't "make" him treat you better; it's a two-way thing, and he has to try too.
2006-08-04 07:56:26 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Learn to seperate the two....
Keep Ur sex life seperate, it's VERY hard to be turned on and enjoy Urself when Ur worring about bills, or kids, or the fight that the two of U had earlier...
Try to to put that out of Ur mind @ least for a couple of hours, do something sexy and romantic with Ur husband and remember what it was like when U 2 first got together.
Every couple fights, it's human nature...
Enjoy the physical and connectional feeling from sex....
It helps with the stress level...
Good Luck
2006-08-04 08:01:24 · answer #3 · answered by HeartsOnFire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when you're in a bad relationship were you really don't feel loved it is easy to use sex as a mean to feel loved. I was in a similar situation years back and it took me years to see that.
It's time you move on with your to end this relationship. It is causing strain in your life. You need to find someone you are more compatible with who will respect and love you for more then sex.
2006-08-04 07:52:22 · answer #4 · answered by K. V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should really be thinking about saving your relationship not your sex life. If the attraction isn't there and all you guys do is fight, then it's probably best you go your separate ways ! Besides it doesn't sound like your that satisfied with him anyway.
2006-08-04 07:54:06 · answer #5 · answered by smorgan1124 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand you. Women are more emotional. When we have arguements and they say bad things, we remember them and it affects our sexual relations. Men say things and let it roll off, sort of like venting. Sex is different to us as well. We are more into the emotional side of sex, where in they are more into the physical side. For us, the two intertwine. For them they are two seperat things. I am the same way. I guess you have apoor communicater as well. Some men (most), don't like to talk things out. I guess you try to talk about it. Either learn to let it go, or leave him. Try talking to him and explaining how you feel and how it affects your sexual relationship. Good luck!
2006-08-04 09:33:59 · answer #6 · answered by Amelia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you two should break up since you always argue and yell and the only time he's nice to you is when he wants sex. That's not a healthy relationship.
2006-08-04 07:49:38 · answer #7 · answered by allison_t37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over the grudges and re-connect emotionally. If you continue on being upset because of unresolved issues in your reltionship your $ ex life will not improve. Communicate and resolve those issues so you are not upset and arguing before doing the deed.
Good luck
2006-08-04 07:50:40 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are not turned on when he is there and horny when he is not, yell and fight all the time - you need to have sex - but with someone else baby. move on you are in a bad relationship
2006-08-04 07:58:42 · answer #9 · answered by colnelingus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm i dont think you can save your sex life. i dated a guy like that once. I just stopped it at there. a week went by and he begged me to come back. i turned down the offer. felt very good after. men only want what they cant have.
2006-08-04 08:33:16 · answer #10 · answered by leaves_of_autumn171311 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋