My b'f John was told by his new boss that when he goes to see a client, he should 'Mirror' the client's body language. If he folds his arms, John should copy him. This way, his boss said, the client will warm to him. John's a bit nervous in case the client knows what he's doing.
2006-08-04 07:35:52 · 13 answers · asked by poppy vox 4 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
If someone did that to me it would be distracting and agitating. As a client I do not want someone to do that.
2006-08-04 07:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by Today is the Day 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Mirroring is a well known technique if you know what you're doing - it's designed to put the other person at ease. It has to be done subtly though. If the client realises that your bf is copying him, then it's game over.
It really depends on the situation. Pop psych says that folding your arms is a defensive posture. If you're trying to get someone with folded arms to open up to you, you're not going to achieve it by folding your arms too. Also, if your bf's client is agressive and angry, he doesn't really want to be mirroring that kind of body language.
If he's nervous about it, it won't be natural. I'd tell him to adopt an open posture and just be himself.
2006-08-04 14:44:43 · answer #2 · answered by purple_duck_uk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neuro-Linguistic Proggramming, NLP.....
But maybe gone a bit wrong.
It subconciously makes people feel at ease if the person they are speaking to feels similar to the way the do. People who don't know NLP will not catch on, and people who know NLP will not be bothered as they will know whats going on.
Your bf should not mirror every action of the client, but the majority. If the client grins, you grin (both pleased).
If they fold their arms, you do (defensive), and then you open your arms to encourage them towards the sale or viewpoint
If they scratch your nose, don't do it. Thats just copying, unless you conveniently have an itch.
For more info, head to the bookshop (big building shop selling books) under business for NLP books.
2006-08-04 14:44:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would guess that the boss gave this advice because he has noticed that b'f is having trouble getting clients to warm to him. Since the boss suggested it I would try it. If he is really nervous ask the boss to show him exactly what he means by having the boss mirror him. I often mirrored my students while having "counseling" sessions in the hall. For example if I came out there and they were standing against the wall waiting for the "harangue" to start I would just lean against it myself and speak one on one in a respectful manner to them--they often reflected it right back at me! It wasn't the exact same body position they usually leaned on their back and I leaned on my side but it was the same attitude.
2006-08-04 15:18:27 · answer #4 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mirroring is what usually happens between people who are on the same wavelength. It is not a trick to be practised but could be done in a subtle way. Be careful though, there is a difference between copying the way someone stands and moves, and genuinely mirroring the way somebody is. Your boyfriend should be wary.......for being caught out
2006-08-04 14:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by stingmyflesh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, 'mirroring' shows you're attuned to the other person. Using body language is one way of doing this. Another, better, way is to show a similar emotional state to them - or at least communicate that you're aware of their emotional state, and taking that into account in how you interact with them.
However, it's all very subtle.
When someone consciously realises you're doing this, they lose all feeling of being attuned (on the same wavelength) as you, and realise that you're trying to manipulate them.
I'd advise he practice first, and only use it very subtlely.
I prefer the method of not copying them, but acknowledging them (this is basically just acting in a way appropriate and considerate to their attitude). That way, instead of effectively lying to them, you can still be 'honest' with them.
However, it's this predisposition to honesty that makes me incompetent in the business world.
Well, that and my fleas.
2006-08-04 14:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by Wax Crayon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i thought people would warm to you better if you youself showed good body language like uncrossed arms and legs copying them might make them feel more nervous
2006-08-04 14:41:24 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This type of copying body language can come across as mocking or aggressive.
It could be a bad move
2006-08-04 14:41:39 · answer #8 · answered by sweetcandytoffee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The client will pick it up straight away.
2006-08-05 00:53:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if i had done that as a child i would have got a clip round the ear..........it the man thinks he is taking the P**s he will get a thump
2006-08-04 14:41:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋