than he is about the kids or me. But when it's time for him to get his groove on, then he has time. I always feel bad for the kids, they really want to spend time with him, but he is always working on the computer and won't get away for a minute to even listen to the kids. He has a very layed back job and there are really no seriuos deadlines. It just breaks my heart when no one can interupt him during work, but on the rare occasion that he's not working-- he is too busy watching tv or something. I just wonder sometimes if he feels he made the wrong choices in marrying me and having the life that we have. I think I am a good wife-- I never nag him about things, I give him sex whenever he wants it--like 1-2 times every day. We have a very good relationship most of the time. The only thing we ever fight about is money. I just get lonely sometimes for some true time together, don't get me wrong I love the sex, but a girl needs some cuddle time too. Help.
2006-08-04 07:30:10 · 15 answers · asked by pink30 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be open and honest about what your feeling. It seems like he is busy but def. loves you and your kids....tell him what you need and he should be willing to help......Sex is one thing but cuddling and feeling loved is another .....you'll be fine....just be honest with him....he prob has realised this too and doesnt know what to do good luck all the best
2006-08-04 07:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by ckrystil86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately I know just what you are talking about. I did the same thing and I can't tell you how much I regret it.
I was married to my first wife for 37 years but let work and the computer and TV take priority. Anything to escape.
Now don't take me wrong. I was not escaping them. I loved my family dearly. But with men it is so easy to not want to face emotional problems and anything else will help.
I have no doubt that your husband feels the same but just does not understand that this does not go on forever. In a heartbeat your kids will be gone and he will wonder what happened. How did your time with them go by so fast? And it will come to him then that he has no idea who they are.
You are most assuredly a good wife. My wife didn't nag me either, much, but sex whenever he wants it? Wow where were you when I was looking.
You have to somehow make this man understand what he is doing. The best years of his and your life are slipping by and I do hope you do not follow what my wife did. After the kids were gone she found someone who would pay attention.
Don't let that happen to you. Kick him in the butt, what ever it takes, get his attention. Both you and his regrets will be many if you don't.
2006-08-04 07:53:27 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would concentrate more on what you need in this situation than your husband as he seems to have his life exactly the way he wants it right now. You wonder if he is regretting his choices, what about how you feel now? You say you 'give him sex' which doesn't sound as if you're getting the kind of sex you want. I would really reprioritise your concerns here - he has a job he is happy with and he is managing his time the way he wants to. The best thing you can do is find yourself some other interests so that you are not always available to him - this marriage just needs a little rebalancing I would say. Maybe he's just forgotten how lucky he is, if you still love each other, you can find your way back together. Good luck!
2006-08-04 07:43:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, My first response to your question is are u nuts? Four kids is alot of work and responsiblity. Your husband more than likley feels he needs to do the best job he can at work so that he doesn't get fired or layed off. He feels that his contibutation to the family is security by the way of the job. I know you have needs but understand he's worried about how to feed everyone. Hes under alot of stress. TV is his only oulet to relax. Four kids is alot of work and I'm taking it you don't work? Not that taking care of children isn't work, but the stress is self created. He also may not be the one that really wanted all the kids. Sometimes deep down their is ill feelings, they just don't surface right away...
Maybe one night a week away from the kids, might be just what you need. my husband and i always no matter what had our date night, this where we went out alone no kids. We had six!
2006-08-04 08:50:50 · answer #4 · answered by Nanniekc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send the kids to a babysitter. You can save your self 3 hours in betwween you h coming back from work and bedtime. Do something together as a couple sin you are too inmersed being a mother of four and him being too inmersed in to feeding 6 mouths,
Good luck
2006-08-04 08:09:18 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have experienced the same frustations in my marriage...however; one thing I have learned is that our husbands have alot of responsibility weighing on their shoulders...the household, the books and the bills; making sure there is enough, how to fix it if there isn't especially in a family of 6 (or in my case, family of 8). Talk to your husband about how you feel....but be patient and understanding...I know it seems hard because it feels like everyone is being neglected....but just give him as much down time as he needs....and try to get involved with some of the activities that he is doing....that helps as well.
2006-08-04 07:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by helplesslynluv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too scary... what you are saying describes me to a T, I'll admit, well, with the exception of my wife giving me sex 1-2 times a day. Drop me a private message and I might be able to help with some reasoning.
Thanks
2006-08-04 07:42:30 · answer #7 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly the best thing to do is confront him. But if he denies byt knows he isn't then he's hiding something. Talk 2 him and communicate that is what a relationship is based on not how much sex he gives u even though it might b good! lol
2006-08-04 08:19:05 · answer #8 · answered by K.L.C. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way and I am only a newlywed. He said that he would come home and take me somewhere but he never showed up, that was three hours ago. He has only had two days off from work since we got married.
2006-08-04 08:19:21 · answer #9 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you have to read some childish and immature answers on real issues to your questions so heres a commonsense one.
First, your spouse need to focus more on his family. He shouldn't regret a life he helped make. He need to spend less time on a computer and more time with listening to his kids.
It takes two to tangle in the bed then he can tangle he can out of it by being passionate to his spouse and being understanding to his kidsneeds and there is no compromising with that .
2006-08-04 07:55:47 · answer #10 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋