2006-08-04 06:57:46 · 11 answers · asked by queen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From a recovery addict you need to move on for yourself and your children. He is the only one who can help himself if he wants. Sometimes hitting rock bottom and losing everything makes you realize it is time to get yourself together.
2006-08-04 07:38:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't mention it for a week. When he drinks to excess, leave and go to the park or to a movie or whatever or a good friend. He will feel pretty gulty because he no longer has your nagging as an excuse to drink. After a week, begin to be supportive and understanding. Then introduce the idea of AA. Then get a babysitter and go out with him and not drink. Being a nag about it will make him do it more. It is an escape. He needs to find out what he is escaping from intherapy. Buy him a book about recovery. If you become his probation officer, he will never get better and be happy happy happy if you leave him.
Also, call your local social services and/or Catholic Charities. Don't tell them that he is abusive or they will take your children away. Jsut tell themthat he is unemployed now. Tell them that you want assistance in childcare while you work and assistance in finding a job. Watch the change when you change and you will love yourself more no matter what happens.
2006-08-04 07:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First andwer youself these questions. How long have you've been with him? too long? Has he ever tried stopin? and for who. Himself or the family?
I went throguh the same situation myself, and that is why we no longer are together. I beleive that luckily my dtr was young. She was only 1 back then. I now live with someone else and live happier then ever. To be honest with you my ex and I have a better relationship then we ever did before. We are just better off seperated. And he still has not stoped. But who lives better now.
Look if he has ever tried stoping, why has he not succeded. Sit with him and talk to him about the actual causes of him doing these things on a regular basis. Did he start after you guys where together, or whas it something already there? Try helping him. Figure out things. He might need you to support him. Otherwise if this keeps going on, no way on earth he will stop. Eventually he will find a way to even hide things from you, and that would make things worse.
If then you realize things really aernt working for him and you. Trust me get yourself some help instead. Get yourself out of that. It will then lead to worse things and then you will really regret things not beeing done on time.
You will later appreciate the things you accomplished.
Do it for your kids then, if nothing can be done for both of you. Later in life when the kids are grown, you can then help yourself, but now help support him, if it dont work, do it for the kids. Trust me it will end up working out somehow.
Good luck and wishing you the best.
Life is hard but not impossible. ok. xoxo
2006-08-04 07:57:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Financially you'll need to step up to the plate if he's not doing it for yourself and children. Being in a relationship where drugs and alcohol is not healthy especially for your children - you should move away from that until your husband can get help. In the mean time find a job and save all the emotions you have for your children cause they'll need every bit of it. Drugs and alcohol is a addiction that only with professional help - will make him a good father and husband again.
2006-08-04 07:07:42 · answer #4 · answered by Leila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing with the drugs and my now ex-husband. He was spending all our money on Drugs. It doesn't get better it only gets worse. You can not force your husband to go into rehab he has to choose that for himself. Even if he chooses to go it doesn't mean he will change for the better. I went through mental abuse and my children suffered physical abuse. I left several times and ended up right back. I finally made him ask me for the divorce. I stopped sleeping in bed with him and became very distant. I told my children exactly why we left when we did. I went through a very extended divorce it took me a year to finally get it finalized. It was well worth the wait though. Now I am re-married to a wonderful man and we have 6 children. His 4 from previous marriage and my 2 from my previous. My children are excelling in every aspect of their lives now. They are much more happier and in turn that makes me much happier. I hope this helps it is hard to leave but it is the best thing to do.
2006-08-04 07:52:12 · answer #5 · answered by midnghtmoon74 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His drugs and alcohol are his top priority and he will always find a way to support his habits. At that rate, plan on being in debt unless you get a job, pay the bills yourself and boot him out. Your kids need you more than they need a father who doesn't care if they have a roof over their head or not.
2006-08-04 07:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him 100% out of your life!
This will not make your life easy, but it will make it easier.
Don't forget community services and government help.
Be totally honest with your children as to what is happening.
Tell them you need them.
2006-08-04 07:02:45 · answer #7 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to try to get him into a rehab clinic. If he refuses to help himself you need to get yourself and your children in a better environment.
Good luck!
2006-08-04 07:02:08 · answer #8 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do yourself a favor and get out while you can or you can let him drag you down. it seems to me that if he isn't contributing to the family in any way that you would not missing much anyway.
2006-08-04 08:14:50 · answer #9 · answered by sixties 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cant help you......you gotta help your self.
you need to decide if you wanna live like that and if not move on. dont sit around whinning about shitz do something for your kids if it that bad.
2006-08-04 07:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋