is this true?

Question

if u were born before your parents were married. r u a bastard? and what if they get married later on.. r u still a bastard? a friend of mine is upset cuz she thinks shes a bastard cuz she was adopted and knws tht her parents were married b4 she was born. im tryin to tell her that shes not but she seems to believe the stereotype. any advice on wht i can tell her?

Answer 1

Tell your friend that every single baby that has ever been born (except for one) came into the world the EXACT same way. There's no such thing as an illegitimate child...just illegetimate parents.

Answer 2

In the traditional sense of the word, a 'bastard' is used to refer to a child born out of wedlock. In olden times, this stigma remained with a child even if the mother did wed the child's father eventually, but in today's society, this has become tolerable behaviour (seeing as the child still has a father figure) and we do not attach such labels to an innocent child anymore.
Hence, 'bastard', as a term, is used today more as an insult than a reflection of a person's *supposedly absent* morals (although the connotation is still there).

So tell your friend not to fuss so much over labels. Even she believes herself to be so, she would be in good company like William Shakespeare (who was referred, deferentially, as the Bard to hint at his past) and many other Hollywood celebrity babies.
Ultimately, she mustn't let a decision made by her biological parents affect her to this extent. As long as she feels loved in her adopted home, that's all that really, truly matters; not an outdated concept of the "proper way of things".

Answer 3

If she was adopted, it would seem that the term "bastard" wouldn't apply to her anyway, but why on earth would she be all freaked out over such an anachronism anyway? It was not so great to be born out-of-wedlock a few decades ago, but in this modern age, more and more kids are being born to single mothers by CHOICE.

Tell her to get a grip! There are WAY BIGGER things to worry about than what side of the sheets she was conceived on!!!

Answer 4

Only a closed minded person would think her a bastard. That is an outdated term anyway considering the number of unmarried parents. Tell her not to worry about this as she is in a loving family with parents who love her and anyone who would call her a bastard isn't worth knowing.

Answer 5

Going back to the origins (Law student here), a bastard is a term for someone born out of wedlock as it indicated their status as one who was not in line for succession (Inheritance)....However, when adopted or if the parents got married, the person ceases being a bastard as they now are in line for succession....So no, they are no longer a bastard...if they are looking for self pity, they will need to find a different term as they do not qualify for this one.

Answer 6

Tell her this isn't the 1950's anymore. Being a literal "bastard" doesn't mean anything anymore to just about anyone. This is just a tad confusing anyway. She thinks she's a bastard in relation to her ADOPTED parents or her BIRTH parents? Either way it's a non-issue in this day and age.

Answer 7

If she has people that love her and take care of her then she doesn't need to believe that nonsense. If kida are teasing her then theybe obviously heard it at home from thier parents and those kids have thier own troubles to deal with. So tell your friend to be a lil bit stronger and to not let words that do not define her or her life get to her because if she has a friend like you, that already tells me she is a good natured person that been hurt by some idiots comments. So be a good freind and reassure her that she's da bomb, and you wouldn't want anyone else as a freind and she'll get over this in no time. Peace

Answer 8

A child born 'out of wedlock' is often labeled with this crude term. However, it is not an uncommon belief that any child whose father is not known is a 'bastard'.

There really isn't much of a stereotype associated with either situation in the U.S. because this is fairly common.

As an adoptee myself, I can only advise this: no matter what anyone else labels you, you are only affected by it if you believe it, too. Adoptees are often told they are 'special' because they were 'chosen' and this is most often not the case. We're not stupid just because we were adopted. We know that most adoptive parents take what they can get because they are desperate for a child. Your friend should keep the communication open with her adoptive parents about the issue of her adoption so she does not ever feel obligated to relinquish either sets of parents (in case she decides to pursue their identities).

I have to admit, I often make fun of (or exploit) my adoptee status or joke about not knowing my medical history, etc. - it certainly helps deflect or diffuse the awkwardness often associated with it.

Answer 9

http://www.dictionary.net/bastard
1. A ``natural'' child; a child begotten and born out of wedlock; an illegitimate child; one born of an illicit union.

Note: By the civil and canon laws, and by the laws of many of the United States, a bastard becomes a legitimate child by the intermarriage of the parents at any subsequent time.

The word was used when Kings and lords needed a legal offspring and has little or no meaning now. If you are loved you are blessed.

Answer 10

I think people who use the term bastard to describe children are ignorant, inconsiderate, and immature. Every child is a blessing... and no child chose to be born. So.... for your friend to wonder whether she is or was a bastard is, in my view, an unfortunate occurence. I wish "bastard" would be erased (and not replaced) from our vocabularies.

Answer 11

This is what people said and we can't stop them from saying things that we do not want to hear. I can understand what your friend had gone through as I myself is in that situation. My parents was not even married and both are of different religion and race. As I grow up, I have to go thorough lots of humiliation, sadness and queries all by myself as a teenager. I am glad with God's will, I do not keep any grudges with my parents about the past. What important most, we have to think about the future and be strong and don't let the history repeat itself.