how can i deal with a bad family in law and a husband who love them no matter what?

Answer 1

The way we all do.....you act nice and they sometimes act nice for years and then BOOOOOM and you aren't speaking. It comes to a boiling point (like everything else). Sorry.

Answer 2

I think the most telling part of this question is "I had always been attracted to her husband but it was just an attraction and I never acted on it because of my friend and because he was obviously unavailable and also I never really thought he felt the same way." If this were my best friend (friend, acquaintance, worst enemy), I'd be saying "he's attractive, but MARRIED. Period. I'm simply not that kind of person." But sounds like you've had your sights on him for some time and the only REAL thing holding you back was that you thought he wasn't interested in you. A person of integrity doesn't take calls from HIM. Doesn't accept invitations from HIM. Would never get to the point where he could feel the right to confess any feelings for you. You're supposedly his wife's best friend, not his. I hope the wife finds out and dumps you both. She deserves so much better.

Answer 3

Everyone should love their family no matter what. You may not like them some times, you may want to drop kick them down the stairs but you always love them

When an individual gets married they join a love bond that is even stronger than their birth family.

So if your husband accepts the stupid *** things your family in law is doing to the extent that it is compromising your marriage, I think you need to decide if your husband has made the decision to dedicate himself to the marriage bond.

On an easier note, move away from the family in law

Answer 4

I'm learning how to myself...it's a slow and sometimes painful process. It has to be done. What I have finally realized is that the negative emotions brought on whenever I have to visit or just speak to them on the phone doesn't make them behave better...it just makes me feel worse. I am the one suffering from my emotions...not them. They will never change, and neither will my fiance's feelings for them. (I won't force the issue either because they're all the family he's got...crazy or not.) I am learning to keep my ties to them at a minimum (without it being too obvious) and keep them at an arms length. I keep conversations general but polite, and don't respond at all to the negative issues. Hopefully, contact will not become more frequent so I can just live a normal life with my fiance in between visits. Make the sacrifice for him. There will probably be fewer regrets this way in the future. GOOD LUCK...I FEEL FOR YOU!

Answer 5

First of all, the husband has to pick his wife when he leaves his family. Second, if he sides with them all the time and will not change his mind, then I only see bad things later. I hate my in laws, they are awful people and he knows that now, because he said whatever they say bad about me, they say it against him as well. Good luck, we finally moved to another state, its killing them to know that I took their son. He is 42 and I am 36

Answer 6

You must tell your husband how you feel and then go from there. If he really loves you he will do the right thing for the both of you. His wife should always come before his family.

Answer 7

Stay away from them. Let him go see them whenever he wants.; Let him know you do not feel comfortable with them so you'll stay home. Just tell him to leave their feelings there and don't bring them home. He will love his family no matter what, blood being thicker. Its up to him if his current family is more important than the one he left.

Answer 8

Just because he loves his family does not mean that you have to deal with the BS. He sounds like a mama's boy afraid to stand up to his family, when you are his family now and you are entitled to protection from abusive people.

Answer 9

unfortunately there isn't much you can do, you knew they were that way when you married him and he isn't likely going to change and neither are they. From experience DONT talk bad about his family or that will just cause problems when you have to be around them just be cordial and grin and bear it. My husbands real dad is a complete a$$ to me and my husband just doesn't see it so I just act like it doesn't effect me and go on with my day.

Answer 10

You don't deal with it. What I have done is accepted that things are the way they are and ppl are the way they are.

You be polite when in their company and just leave everything else be. This is safest and removes a lot of pressure from all concerned.

Answer 11

Stay away from them as much as possible. Let him go without you, but have something else to do like see friends and keep your mind off the fact that he is there.