Is it normal for marriages to be under stress during a high-risk pregnancy?

Question

I'm in my 8th week of a high risk pregnancy (I have lost 4 babies in the last 2 years before the 10th week) I'm on bed rest, with severe morning sickness. My husband and I cannot have sex (not because the doctor said so but because I am so sick) I am very moody extremely depressed and ambivalent about my situation. I can't even hug my husband or let him hug me because there are certain areas of my body that are too sore to get within a foot of someone else, also I am just too depressed.

This is putting a huge strain on our marriage, and part of me is wishing that I wasn't pregnant anymore (ever again) because I just want our happy marriage back.

To make matters worse, my sense of smell is so strong now, that when my husband even just brushes his teeth, it smells like he's been rolling around in toothpaste and he makes me gag. To put it mildly we are not enjoying each other right now.

Answer 1

yes, any high stress inducing event will strain your marriage,even a no problems pregnancy can strain one, the key is to work together, know when to give each other space and know that everyone gets upset sad mad stressed and scared and to learn to exept it.You may want to try councling but a good saying to keep in mind is this. This to shall pass.

Answer 2

It's very normal for marriages to be under stress during pregnancy, even under a low-risk one. You're under a lot of pressure because of what you're feeling physically and what you've been through before. Ask your husband to bear with you. It will get better!

In the meantime, you need to do what you can to not be too mean to your husband. Focusing on him can also help you out of the depression you're feeling. You're going through a lot, but so is he. If you're not up to sex right now, maybe just offer him a "helping hand" once in a while. ;-)

On the upside, severe morning sickness sounds like a healthy pregnancy to me. Just think of all the pregnancy hormones that are in your system causing it! I'm going to pray for a healthy baby for you. If you're not a spiritual person, maybe now is the time to give it a try. It's amazing how much better things can seem, even if nothing else changes, if you feel that you're "right" with God.

Through it all, keep a sense of humor as much as you can, and everything won't seem as bad. My ex-husband took pictures of me sleeping at a championship tennis match at the Atlanta Olympics in 1996. I was 9 or 10 weeks pregnant, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. Every time I sat down, I fell asleep within minutes no matter where I was. It was embarrassing, but laughing about it made it better.

Regarding your sense of smell, that's normal, too. My best friend's husband used to tease her that she could smell a mouse fart a mile away when she was pregnant. :-) Ask your husband to use as many non-scented products as he can right now. Baking soda is an option for brushing your teeth, and it doesn't leave a minty aroma. Scent-free laundry detergent and fabric softener might be a good choice for you now, too. If a smell bothers you, try covering your nose some and bearing with it for a minute. Usually, your sense of smell deadens after being exposed to the same scent for a while.

And if it makes you feel any better, morning sickness usually ends at the end of your first trimester. I know that probably feels like it's ages away because you're only at 8 weeks, but it will go by quickly. My morning sickness ended so quickly that it was like someone flipped a switch. I wanted to dance! And I had next to no morning sickness with my second and third pregnancies, so even if you have it rough this time, chances are good that you may never have it again.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Any type of pregnancy is bound to cause some strain, high risk will definitely do it. The thing is, you have to realize your husband is probably having a hard time watching you be ill, on top of that to not even be able to touch or go near you. It is just going to be tough. I recommend that you guys talk regularly (through a glass partition if you have to lol) and make sure he knows that it isn't him. Once the baby comes, you guys will forget about all of this.

May I recommend this stuff called morning sickness magic. You can usually get it at a health food store. It is an herbal remedy that helps women with sever nauseau during pregnancy.

Answer 4

Yes, it is VERY normal what you are going through right now. The increase in your sense of smell is something that happens during pregnancy for some women. They find that they are unable to cook certain foods because the smell will make them nauseaus. As for the strain this is all putting on your marriage, you both need to remember that although this period of time is extremely difficult (not to mention scary due to your loss of 4 babies in the past)....it is TEMPORARY.......and this period of time will not last forever. Hang in there!!

Answer 5

Your sickness will slowly get better, but the stress I am sorry won't. My husband and I weren't high risk but I was on bed rest for 7 months. The stress was so over whelming. It's very frustrating on both sides. My husband and I have been married over three years now- we were only married 6 moths when our child was born- our stress still exists, but it's getting easier. Email me if you need to talk:)

Answer 6

A reality of modern relationships is the knowledge that divorce statistics have been steadily escalating in recent years. Tips for avoiding divorce https://tr.im/CEl6R

Even now, all marriages have between a 40 and 50 percent chance of divorce, which increases for second and third marriages, which is why it's more important than ever to have the necessary skills to ensure your relationship is secure against the threat of divorce.

Answer 7

This is normal from what i know. When my first wife was pregnet she had all the proglems you can imagine. She and i had a rough time. Unfortunatly she didnt want to work on it and left 2 yrs after my son was born. I can force someone to try....just remember to try with each other and try to understand the other persons feelings and fears. the fears is the biggest . if you two dont share you wont grow togeaher.
good luck

Answer 8

Considering your situation, I'd say it's normal.
You may want to talk to your doctor about the depression symptoms, though. Roughly 10-20 percent of pregnant women will suffer depression. Considering your history, it's highly likely.
Good luck.

Answer 9

There is alot of stress in that situation. Just try to stay supportive of eachother, if you really want this baby you will both understand that communication is key.
When you are feeling better tell him. You know that he is just worried about you and the baby.

Answer 10

Any situation that is emotionally or medically charged it going to lead to a strain in relations. How you both get through it will say a lot for the strength of your relationship.