why? do women tell you one thing (and do the opposite)?

Answer 1

Well, first of all, all people don't behave all the same way. Allow, please, for individual differences, and don't pigeonhole or stereotype us altogether.

What you're describing could be called passive-aggressive behavior; that is someone agrees up front to do something, but because they're conflicted or they don't know how to speak up, they do what they want to do. Sometimes people mean to be obstructionist and difficult, but most times people -- male or female -- who say one thing and do another often just have problems communicating and stating their own intentions clearly.

It does get better as you get older. It also helps if you -- male or female -- are a good communicator. I've always had a strong voice from childhood on, and 9 times out of 10 I always said yes if I meant yes and no if I meant no. And I could tell you why, too, without hurting anyone's feelings. But I realize not everyone is like me.

It also depends on the relationship you're talking about, and the age of the woman. Younger women from teens to 20s are often all about learning how to fit into the world and pleasing those in authority. But being human we still want autonomy and independence; no one wants to kowtow or please others all the time. So it may lead to saying one thing and then going off and doing what the person really wanted to do in the first place.

I noticed a lot of probably unintentional sexism in the previous answers, and I don't buy it for a minute. It's not that most of the other answers were flat-out wrong, just not deep enough. As human beings, we all -- male and female -- aren't exactly rational, logical beings 100% of the time. At any age, we can be stuck between wanting to please (or at least not wanting to piss off other people) and having our own way. That's where maturity, communication skills and a bit of tact and diplomacy comes into play.

As a woman of 38, I've been on both sides of this. A small example: before I realized that I was a solo exerciser, I'd always get offers from other women I worked with to go walking together... and I'd never go. Something in me just rebelled at the thought of exercising with anyone else. It really did sound like a good idea at the time, but then I took a good long look and realized no, I really love exercising solo so I can get in my own head and think my own thoughts and I like not having anyone else there to distract me.

But as I got older, I learned to look inside myself and speak from a place of truth -- and I also got better and better at not wanting or even caring if some people got pissed off. Ninety nine percent of the time, I can say "no" without pissing anyone off because I've learned how to say no gracefully. But it's a talent that does come with age. I had some idea in my 20s how to do that, but it just took time.

I hope this is a more nuanced, thoughtful answer that better answers your question.

Cheers, K

Answer 2

Nature

Answer 3

Oh right, because guys "never" say one thing and do the opposite. Like when they say they are going to be faithful then you find out he has other girlfriends. Right

Answer 4

Why not ask that same question to males?

Your question implies that males never practice this behavior.

Sadly, so many, in using this forum demonstrate a complete lack of sensitivity for the feelings of others. We all have rights, but to have rights you must carry the full weight of responsibility!

Ask any question that you want to, but you may not SLANDER, in doing so! Ask any question that you want, but you have no right to degrade anyone, even if you disagree with them.

You have a right to your feelings, but no one else has to agree with you, and they have the right to not agree.

Sadly, too often, too many narrow minded people use this forum to express their piety prejudices against others rather that ask questions. Isn't the name of this forum, "Ask A question"

Answer 5

Well because we can't prodict the future. Sometimes you have no intention of doing something at the time you say it and then it works out differently. Life isn't as black and white as men would like keep it.

Answer 6

Don't judge all people on what some people do or say. It takes all types in this world to make up what we are. And for those that do what you asked, maybe some thing came up, or their trying to keep you guessing, or their just not relieable.

Answer 7

i see it happen all the time, and its a growing disease! fortunately were attracted to them so we usually forget about it! the reason they do is unknown, i mean its baffled Dr. Phil, the fortune teller down the street, and therepists for years, ever since the beginning of time actually! Best of luck, however anything we do is useless. so just roll with times my friend!

Answer 8

As a general rule, for any question that begins "Why do women...", the answer is usually just "Because they're WOMEN!"

Answer 9

It depends on who the guy iz n if we like to get them confused its just to see ther funny reaction
-LaLa

Answer 10

Chances are that you weren't listening the first time. That 's always what my problem is.