Is 14 too young to be engaged?if hes 16?

Question

ok,so my bf of a year and two months has already said he loves me and i know i love him so i say it back, and the other day he asked me to marry him and i said yes...we know things can change but for the time being i know he loves me and he knows i love him, do you think i am too young for this?

i gess i shoulda started wit sayin we have promised NOT to get married cuz we dono where we'll both be in 5 years untill we are outa college and still feel the same way....and he promised me we would wait till we're married to have sex!

Answer 1

LOL SO SO YOUNG !!

LOL
LOL
LOL

Answer 2

A woman of 21 does not know what a woman of 31 wants. How much more true for a girl of 14, before she's even an adult?

You are not fully grown, and your personality, wishes and wants for life are not even fully established yet. You should not even be thinking about marriage, let alone even having a serious boyfriend at your young age.

Furthermore, studies have shown that the longer people wait to get married, the more chances their marriages has of lasting and not ending in divorce. If you truly love each other, you will still truly love each other in five years, when you are 19 and he is 21, and then you both can get married, with diplomas under your belts, possibly even a little bit of college, both of you will be able to work and properly support an independent lifestyle -- independent from adults, not from each other.

At this point, Sweetie, you're not even legally able to enter into a contract, marriage or otherwise.

Time is always the best "tell" to know if something will last. Wait till after graduation. If you're still together, get married then. If you're not, no harm, no foul.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Do yourself ( and him) a favor. Do not waste your high school years wrapped up in some phony engagement. You really have no clue what you are going to feel like in even one year much less 6. I see this all engulfing kid love thing going on with the enevitable argument and breakup which will make you both emotional wrecks for much of your senior year. Stay as friends and date. Be monogamous if you must, but if you are going to college, keep it light. Your feelings will change at school.
You are 14. Ask yourself if you made good decisions about your life when you were 7. Thats the difference you are talking about.
Be a kid is good advice. You only have a few more years of that and they are over way too soon. Enjoy them with a wide circle of friends because they don't last.

Answer 4

Just realize that you in the most turbulent time (mentally) of your life and that it does not make sense at this point to make a lifetime commitment.

Studies show that people who marry before 25 are 200% more likely to divorce.

Why not instead consider it a promise ring, instead of an engagment ring? A promise ring signifies that you too are in love and when age appropraite you will become engaged (somewhere around 18, depending on your state law).

That way you don't turn him down, and you can still be in love, in the committed relationship, but you don't have to live up to a obligation if circumstances change.

Answer 5

Yes, you're very young (too young!) to be thinking about marriage. Neither one of you is settled in life. Or even in your own hormones.

I'm not saying it won't work, but I'm just saying take a VERY long engagement before you actually tie the knot. Spend some time getting to know yourself and your guy and figuring out what you want from the future. Settle down, get good jobs, go to college (maybe not in that order) and then think about getting married. You can love each other the entire time without being tied down by a piece of paper.

If you guys are meant to be together, you'll work it out.

My aunt was 8 when she got engaged (he wasn't much older), and she waited until she finished college before actually getting married and they're one of the happiest couples I know of.

Good luck!

Answer 6

yes, way too young. 16 is too young. You should figure out who you are before you commit your life to someone else-that means getting an education, getting a job, living on your own. So much changes from the ages of 14 to 24. Why rush to get married anyway? You can be a committed couple without getting married. I would wait to see what happens when he graduates 2 years before you, and see if your relationship survives that.

Answer 7

Yes, you're too young. But you're too young for engagement. You are just right to fall deeply in love. I'm sure you will remember this love for the rest of your life.

But as for engagement, you're not even legal to get married. And you're wanting to be grown up so badly, that you're rushing things. Some people consider 24 (10 years plus your age!) to be a bit young to get married. In America today, the average age for men and women to marry the first time is in their mid-20s. So keep that in mind.

It's good to be in love, because it feels wonderful and it makes you feel so alive and happy, and that's such a wonderful thing. But please remember, you are a minor, and you also have your whole life in front of you. That means you have high school, college, your beginning work years, and way on into your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and more. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Please trust me on this, at age 38, having been so in love with a boy that I thought I'd just die if I didn't marry him and only him -- there will be others. There are a lot of men out there. It is absolutely right that this boy have a special place in your heart forever if he is your first true love. That's very sweet and very special. But don't try to grow up too fast.

Trust me that your life will change a lot from 14 to 24 and onward. I hope that you and he will continue to be close, but don't be surprised if after high school you may go to different colleges and make very different choices in life. You may even experience more changes, for better and/or worse, in school now. You are young, and things can change very quickly for many different reasons.

As someone who teaches young people your age, I applaud your special deep feelings for your boyfriend and think that it's very sweet that you are in love and you already feel a deep commitment. No doubt when you are older you will make a very good and loyal wife. No doubt now you are a very good and loyal friend.

Enjoy your young, sweet, special love while it lasts, and just remember -- you have your whole life in front of you. And you cannot legally get married until you're 18 in most states anyway. So yeah you're a little young, but you're on the right track to love deeply and to want love in your life.

Cheers, K

Answer 8

You are extremely young for this. As a teenager I thought I found the love of my life. He was my first boyfriend and I also thought I was gonna end up marrying him. However things changed, we both grew up and 5 years later I've realized I did love him, but there are many other things you need to consider before making, or even think on such a big decision.
My advice is, love the guy, enjoy every moment with him, but don't rush things... take it one step at the time.

Answer 9

Yes you are. Some girls don't even have their periods at this age let alone thinking of setteling their lifes for the rest of their lifes. Finish high school, finish college, after that if you still feel in such a way about each other then get married. You both are not mature enough for such a commitment. If you do this now it will only hurt you on the long run. Wait- you have your entire life in front of you.

Answer 10

Finish school first, tell him to do it too. Then, if you are 18(he would be 20, I'm guessing) decide when you will marry. At 14 you probly have alot of romantic dreams, but sadly, not many of them come true, no omatter how much love you have for each other. If you were to be married now, what would you do, if you turned 16, had a baby, and caught your husband with another woman? Not that he would do something like that, but , it could happen.

Answer 11

I have the same problem i am 19 and she is 18 were Fiancees

Our parents both agreed that we are destined to be with each other i guess they were right we were announced at the age of 5 and 5 shes 1 day behind me i know thats weird but thats how it is
when we got older we liked each other and asked ourselves i wonder what will happened if we get married our parents told us that you will understand when you get older so we stop thinking
But its hard to believe we didnt have the right to say no to them because we were young at that age not knowing what our life will become, But heres some advice, When you two marry each other you will have alot of rocky roads in your path things you will need to work out when you get older, when me and my fiancee decided to be friends till the day we get married we tried to fake that we are not fiancees because of all the rumors, Just to tell you When you get married your budget, taxes will be hard to keep up with and when you have babies it will get harder, so i say no its not a good idea but thats my opinion its your lives you choose what is right and your future.

Also here is a bit of wisdom, When love becomes strong listen to your heart for the right course of virtue that will be the time when you will decide what you want for you life and his.