i felt bad as a friend that we haven't been talking for a while and when i asked why she said she had better things to do with her time.....we were best of friends but it just turned sour......we haven't spoken since then.
2006-08-04 05:26:29 · 11 answers · asked by rowena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
First thing to do is look back and try to remember when this started happening. Then ask yourself if there was any behaviors or events that could have triggered this response.
Second, try to pinpoint what might have happened and confront your friend. Do not be rude or aggressive, just honest and to the point. Tell her how you are hurt by the way she treated you and you are not sure why. Tell you think it could be ..... (if you are able to possible determine a cause). Tell her how much she means to you and that you want to work on your friendship.
I've lost so many friends by just getting angry when they got upset, and walking away. What I should have done is tried to talk to them and work through our differences. Don't lose a friendship because you will regret it. Don't wait to long also!!
2006-08-04 05:33:14 · answer #1 · answered by Rayslittlegurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happens, and it hurts. I should know -- I let one friend go and another friend dumped me. I'm 38, and have been knowing both of these women since high school; one I knew since grade school. So these aren't just new friendships.
One friend I let go because she got highly evangelical about me having kids. No thanks! I'm very childfree. She married a man with two and then they had two of their own. I know she is happy, and I know that she wanted me to share her happiness, but what's happiness for her would be sheer hell and drudgery for me. We had a long talk one night, and she still didn't really get it. So with regret and a lot of second-guessing myself, I just stopped calling and emailing. It had been a good friendship through high school and college, but then she and I went in separate directions.
The other friendship is slightly more complex, but it ended badly, and I'm sorry about that. She and I had a misunderstanding over email that resulted in her giving me six months of silent treatment. When she did write back, it was basically to scream at me and make me look bad and herself look right. There's a lot in her life that she can't control, and my life is very free, so I suspect jealousy. I also suspect that she let her husband poison her mind against me, since he seems very controlling and possibly emotionally abusive. I'm sure he likes having her all to himself and she over-identifies with him because she's a SAHM and he's the breadwinner... and she has two dependent children, one with a mental disability. So she's stuck; meanwhile I'm very free.
All this is to tell you that sometimes things just don't work out, and you won't always know the real reason. As for the friend I let go, we had parted ways and the friendship just wasn't working for me anymore. I didn't have anything in common with her. I think if I called her again or saw her again, that we'd be friendly and cordial, just not close, since it's been a while. The other friend let her husband poison her against me, and we're done, after nearly 30 years of knowing each other. That's the one that I still mourn and feel a definite loss over, because it was so pointless.
When someone says that she has "better things to do with her time" (ouch) that's a definite sign you've been dumped. And because it's phrased so meanly, there's anger there too. You may never know why she's angry with you, especially if she's moved on and is done with the friendship. I'm sorry. I know it hurts and what's worse is there's nothing you can do about it but just grieve the loss and forgive her and let it go.
Good luck. It hurts but we've all been there and gone through it -- and survived.
Cheers, K
2006-08-04 05:42:44 · answer #2 · answered by Kate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely contact her and ask her what the hell is going on. Well......don't say that but you know what I mean. Someone just dropping you like that? That is not normal. Try to contact her and see if she responds. Let her know how her actions have upset you. You guys need to talk. Hope everything works out.
2006-08-04 05:37:20 · answer #3 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is trying 2 get revenge for you ignoring her, just give it a little bit of time and try 2 talk 2 her of how it goes.
2006-08-04 05:30:36 · answer #4 · answered by LonelyPsycho...I Need A Hug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend told me she hated me 1 time and didnt talk 2 me 4 at least a week but i called her and we made up and now we r BEST FRIENDS and u should try callin her/him.
2006-08-04 05:44:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well have your ever said anything bad about her or said something bad while talking to her but to you it didn't seem that what you said made her upset but you thought it was funny?
2006-08-04 05:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by leihuaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what happen to make your friend not like you any more... So you need to think about that.... But from the sound of it she is no longer your friend... So get out and find new ones...Because with friends like her who needs enemies....
2006-08-04 05:31:27 · answer #7 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see i think give her time she must have told you bcoz she must be having some reason abt it.after sometime you call her or meet her and ask her why she ended ur friendship.ask her if something wrong happened from you that she didnot liked it
2006-08-04 05:39:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to talk to her and see were you guys stand
2006-08-04 05:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by crazy 4 somethin' real 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then let her go. It's time for a change. She doesn't want you.
2006-08-04 05:30:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋