I've been married for just over a year...but it doesn't really seem like it b/c right after we got married my husband had to go away for 5 months for active military duty. Ever since he got back, sex hadn't really been frequent, or even GREAT for that matter. But we worked through it, and we finally got to where we were both satisfied. Or at least HE thought. After a while foreplay just went downhill. For him it's just hit it and that's it. I'm not being pleased. I hate to nag him so I don't talk about it much, but when i mention it, he says he doens't like foreplay.
As a Christian I can't deny him, so I have sex anyway, but i'm not satisfied. What should I do??? I know life goes on, and I'll live, but I want to be taken care of sexually. He's my only outlet.
2006-08-04 05:20:16 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I use the toys, lingerie etc.
And I perform oral sex on him...I just don't ever get any (touching etc.)
2006-08-04 06:24:01 · update #1
I have talked to him...but he says he just doesn't like it.
I talk to him...I dont mind it, I just don't want to nag him.
2006-08-04 06:42:25 · update #2
Honey, this is a bigger problem than you are realizing. I recently had a friend with this problem and they learned alot in counseling. Her husband came home from Iraq and he wasn't the same. It was almost as if he was shut down emotionally. He was going through the motions but he failed to let anything get beneath the surface. Your husband sounds like a good guy, who was willing to work with you before, talk to him about it. I'm sure he too, is sensing that something isn't right. Be patient, loving and supportive. Things will slowly return to normal. And who knows, you may even learn a few new things in the process to spice it up a bit!
2006-08-04 05:34:02 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him.Im a christian, and i let my hub know if things arent going right.Sex is important in a marriage.Maybe become the agressor, and take control.My husband is in the army, and i understand.He goes on deployments for months at a time, hes in Iraq right now, and i think about sex everyday, lol. maybe try thinking about it while you arent together during the day, then when you and he get around to it, you are already half there because you've been fantisizing.Incorporate toys, pocket rockets are fun and you can use it while you have sex with him.Im sure he knows you arent enjoying it,ake him want to touch you, dress up for him and suprise him.take a shower together, give him really good head, after a while he will be more into it,
2006-08-04 12:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by cherokee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to fix this problem is to talk to him about it! He says he doens't like foreplay, maybe he doesn't enjoy giving foreplay - but I 'm sure if you were giving him foreplay, he would love it.
I would suggest you go buy the book "Kama Sutra" and hand it to him and tell him that you want to work through the entire book - that should get him going AND should help your problem too!
Good Luck!
Aloha!
2006-08-04 12:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a copy of Kama Sutra. Tell him NO MORE until he reads that book and learns a thing or two. That garbage where if you're Christian you have to put out to your man is just that-garbage. You are an equally important part of the relationship. Your needs are just as important as his. Relationships are a two way street. Get some self respect, chica.
2006-08-04 12:45:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him about it. It is easier said than done...Recently I was having a similar complaint with my husband, he decided to initiate a conversation with me about what I like and what I don't like and how I like it etc...As we were talking, he was showing me his techniques...since then our sex life has been great!
It's odd because I have been married for five years, and well..I was never comfortable talking about it, I would just go on and on without feeling completely satisifed at times, but once you do have a conversation about your needs, then it will begin to flourish. Much luck to ya!
2006-08-04 12:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by manderin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be a selfish lover. take matters into your hands and play an active role in love making, Expecting him to do everything is not going to satisfie you ever! Dress up, get videos, toys, engage in role playing, get some costumes, lead him into diferrent positions, tie him up, give him a whooping! if you take control he will be more arouse, tease him too, that will give you pleasure...
Good luck
2006-08-04 12:26:06 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.barbaradeangelis.com/advice.asp
why is it that being a 'christian' prevents so many folks from being satisfied, happy, smart, adventurous and other good things in life??? are christians all just doomed to boredom and dissatisfaction until they reach heaven (or hell)?
2006-08-04 12:46:43 · answer #7 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you do need to talk to him about this,,,, i'm sure there's some way you can bring it up ,,,, maybe suggest roleplaying to him. or just initiate it your-self and see how he responds. it can be fun with right person,,,,,,good luck,,,,,,
2006-08-04 12:34:58 · answer #8 · answered by Rooster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try new ways. If that doesn't work then try and talk to him or if you go to church talk to your minister.
2006-08-04 12:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by Widowed dad in michigan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him. What kind of relationship to you expect to have if you can talk to him.
2006-08-04 13:37:22 · answer #10 · answered by schnees7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋