How would you feel?

Question

I had a baby girl named Ariyanna born 12-25-04 and she passed from S.I.D.S. on 5-7-5. My boyfriend's uncle and girlfriend had a baby yesterday. They asked my boyfriend and I if they could name thier daughter's middle name Ariyanna, we said that was fine. Well come to find out they named thier daughter's FIRST NAME *Arianna*. Yes they spelled it differently, but to me it is just the fact they gave thier daughter MY babys name. Now when anybody hears that name it will only pertain to their daughter. To me it is disrespectful, like they are erasing my daughters' memory. How would you feel?

Answer 1

I would feel the way you feel. I am sure they didnt intend to hurt your feelings or disrespect you. But you did have a baby with that name and even though your baby passed away that was still a baby that you had and it was your child. I understand the middle name being the name that you had...kind of in memory, but with the first name it kinda is that they are taking away from your child and putting it on to theirs...even if the name is spelled different. I would talk to them about this...not to change the babys name because well it is already named but to let them know how you are feeling and get it off your chest but deep down i dont think they meant to hurt you. I am very sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

I would be hurt for a time, but it is just a name. No-one can erase your daughter's memory. After awhile you may feel differently about the new baby.

When my son was born, he was going to be adopted by another family. They picked out his name. I just COULD NOT let my son go (the adoption was his father's idea). The adoptive mother told me she would never forgive me for not changing my son's name, because now she could never name her child that. I know she was hurt, but honestly, your child is your child no matter what their name is. If this other woman liked the name so much, she could name another boy that and after only a few days the baby in her arms would be the only Jackson in the world.

As far as your daughter's name, maybe they wanted to keep the name alive in the family. Maybe it was supposed to be a sign of respect. Maybe they just really like the name.
Maybe everyone will think of your daughter too when they hear this name.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't honestly say how I would feel, because I have never been in that situation. I would try to look at this way, when people name a child after someone, they do so in memory of or with respect for the other person. It is a way of honoring someone. I do think they should have asked about using as a first name first and explained why though.

Answer 4

I would feel that same way that you do. It's really disrespectful that they did that to you considering there are how many girl names out there. Take it like a grain of salt considering where it's coming from. Let it go ! Your daughter will always be a part of your heart and that's that. Tell everyone else to kiss your *** and cut ties with the people in your life that hurt you and bring you down . Sorry for your loss and Take Care

Answer 5

First off, sorry about your loss. But you need to get over it. You didn't own the rights to the name. You should be happy that they thought so much of the name, and maybe even the memory of your daughter, to name their child after it. I'm sure it sucks to have to be reminded about your daughter whenever you hear the name but would you be offended if you found out your neighbors named their daughter that. No one is erasing your daughters memory unless you plan on forgetting her. Quite frankly, if they chose to forget about your loss, that's their decision. They don't have to carry on your daughters memory. You and your b/f do.

Answer 6

That would be tough.......did you say anything to them about it? Not everyone will forget about your daughter, the important people in your life will always remember her. Sorry for you loss. That would be a very hard situation.

As long as when you hear her name, you think of her, then that is all that matters. You keep her in your heart and mind and she will always be there. There are many people with the same names, the names just mean different things to different people.

Answer 7

Its terrible about your daughter. My deepest sympathy. Now...forget this other name business thing. Besides...you don't have a concession on any name. Its up to you too keep the memory of your daughter alive if this is in fact your desire. it's not the responsibility of anyone else.
Anyway...so what if it's spelled differently. Wouldn't you prefer that your late daughter's identity actually be somewhat seperate from this girl? I would think that would better suit the entire situation.

Answer 8

You don't really need to care about how other people feel. As long as you remember your daughter is the most important thing. There are a lot of people called Arianna out there in the world.

Answer 9

I sorry to hear about your lose. Although the new baby is using the same name as your daughter, it doesn't erase the memories that you have of her. She is in your heart as well as the hearts of everyone that was close to her. Don't let negativity run your life. you will be fine.

Answer 10

You don't have sole "rights" to the name - ANY name! It's not disrespectful at all. They can name their baby what they choose. As for hearing the name and everyone thinking its your daughter, don't be silly. They know your daughter is gone. I think you need to move on and get counseling about your deceased daughter if need be.