This is a question for a friend.
My friend a gay man has and ex bf. They separated 8/2005. They owned a home together and sold it, move away from each other 6/2006. Since then my friend’s ex has been harassing him. My friend has changed phone no., email accounts, yahoo blog account. Block him from emailing him, calling etc...He has told him to stop several times.
His ex has threatened public humiliation, and physical violence to a some degree. This ex has not followed through with any threats. My friend is pretty sure it is just a way for him to mentally harass him. For the last 4 weeks my friend has ignored his ex. He has not replied to any emails etc.
My friend recently met a wonderful man. He posted his loves picture on his yahoo blog, and now this harassing ex of his has emailed the new boyfriend in and attempt to discredit him. The new boyfriend laughed at the ex’s email and still loves my friend.
What should I tell my friend to do? How would you handle this mess?
2006-08-04 04:44:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
The ex is 35yo, my friend 40yo. They both live in the same metro area about 30 minutes apart. They have not seen each other since my friend moved away.
2006-08-04 04:45:22 · update #1
He loves his bf and wanted to show the world his dedication.
2006-08-04 05:18:43 · update #2
sounds like my X gf...she likes to stalk me from a far..i have changed all the things your friend has changed..and she stll finds ways to harass me...she loves to contact my new gf and tell them all sorts of untrue horrid stuff about me...its been since 2002 since we broke up. Best thing to do is just ignore all of the drama..and your friend has moved on..and he isnt hiding this from his new bf..so just let him be an idiot, unless your friend feels threatned..then its time to call authorities..if not...just ignore him..maybe he will find someone else to stalk.
2006-08-04 16:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your 'friend' wanted to be left alone by his ex, why would he post his new boyfriend's picture on the Internet with his contact details, knowing full well that the obsessive boy friend might see this? Surely this would only add fuel to the fire.
I suspect we are not getting the full story. Either your friend wanted the ex to see this to stir up some old feelings, he's not very bright, or he's not very nice.
Whichever it is, I still get the feeling that we are not seeing this story from a 360 degree angle. Your friend has changed emails, phones and blog accounts, which can all by choice be made unlisted. If he is still being contacted via these channels by the ex, then someone is passing on these details to the offending party.
I smell a rat! I think your friend needs to let his ex go an get on with his life, if that's what he truly wants. If there are still feelings there, then he needs to be honest with himself and you. I know you probably love your friend dearly and take what he says at face value, but you should challenge him an ask him why the ex continues to get in touch with him despite all the precautions he has taken.
Speaking from experience, if you want to sever the ties of a relationship which was important to you (They did buy a house together. That's not something you do with just anyone!) it's not easy even when you are the one whose idea it was to end the relationship. Love doesn't just stop overnight! Tell your friend if he feels he has made the right decision then he should not give the ex any reason to contact him that includes posting his new lovers picture on the Internet, frequenting the places he and his ex used to go to together or checking up on him to see how he's doing. Eventually he will get the message, but in the meantime you friend needs time to heal too because it sounds like there is still something there between the two.
2006-08-04 05:35:27 · answer #2 · answered by RDW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would anyone do something like putting his love's picture on his blog, when he knows there's this psycho lurking in the wings. Collect all evidence and see how to obtain a restraining order. Also, if he has a friend who's a lawyer, have him write a letter threatening a lawsuit if the ex doesn't stop.
2006-08-04 05:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by Bobbie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is a serious threat, then your friend needs to collect proper evidence documenting this harrasement and file the appropriate complaint for this type of behavior with local law enforcement. The response may include a restraining order but the first place to look into would be the police if it is a serious problem.
2006-08-04 04:57:41 · answer #4 · answered by tryoutcle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In any relationship, if the person that you left needs to hang on. That person has problems. If he has threatened you with bodily harm and you can prove it call the police. Public humiliation works both ways. If the new partner knows what is going on and just laughs it off then nothing needs to be done.
2006-08-04 04:51:44 · answer #5 · answered by rastus7742 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can get a restraining order that way, if he ever tries contacting your friend, he can get in trouble for doing so, just be sure to tell your friend to have evidence such as record calls, print the e-mails he sends etc... Also, have this ex be reported to his e-mail server so that they will kick him out...as many times as necessary.
Also, I wish you friend and his new bf much happiness.
2006-08-04 04:51:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We would all like to think that time heals all wounds,BUT sometimes not fast enough. Tell your friend he needs to file for a restraining order, or to send him a certified letter that he is going to file a restraining order on me if he doesn't stop. This will go on his permanent record and will effect his life. Then maybe he will take it seriously.
2006-08-04 05:35:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call him one last time, and warn him, that if he ever comes near you again, you are going to the police, and get a restraining order, tell him you have payed him enough money, and that he has to take some responsibility for the accident also. And hang up, say leave me alone.
2016-03-26 22:57:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will ease the ex's pain and he will stop.
2006-08-04 04:58:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋