Tell me some thing FUNNY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

that happened to you ,a friend or a relative.
go on knock me bandy in stitches of laughter,you know it makes sense,luvverly jubbly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I don't want to.

Answer 2

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a
bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She
took a break from
the
slots
for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining
room. But first
she
wanted to stash the quarters in her room.

"I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she
told her husband
and
she
carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.
As she was about
to
walk
into the elevator she noticed two men already
aboard. Both were
black.
One of them was big... very big... an
intimidating figure. The
woman
froze. Her first thought was: These two are
going to rob me. Her
next
thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like
perfectly nice
gentlemen.
But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear
immobilized her.
She
stood
and stared at the two men.
She felt anxious, flustered, ashamed. She hoped
they didn't read
her
mind, but knew they surely did; her hesitation
about joining them
on the
elevator was all too obvious. Her face was
flushed. She couldn't
just
stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she
picked up one
>foot and
stepped forward and followed with the other foot
and was on the
elevator.
Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly
and faced the
elevator
doors as they closed. A second passed, and then
another second,
and then
another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't
move. Panic
consumed
her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about
to be robbed! Her
heart
plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore.
Then ...one of
the
men
said, "Hit the floor."
Instinct told her: Do what they tell you. The
bucket of quarters
flew
upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed
on the elevator
carpet.
A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my
money and spare me,
she
prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of
the men say
politely,
"Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're
going to, we'll
push
the
button." The one who said it had a little
trouble getting the
words out.
He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh.

She lifted her head and looked up at the two
men. They reached
down to
help her up. Confused, she struggled to her
feet. "When I told my
man
here to hit the floor," said the average sized
one, "I meant that
he
should hit the elevator button for our floor. I
didn't mean for
you to
hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially. He
bit his lip. It
was
obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.
She thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made
of myself. She
was
too
humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an
apology, but
words
failed
her. How do you apologize to two perfectly
respectable gentlemen
for
behaving as though they were going to rob you?
She didn't know
what to
say. The 3 of them gathered up the strewn
quarters and refilled
her
>> > > >> bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor,
>> > > they insisted on
walking
her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on
her feet, and
they were
afraid she might not make it down the corridor.
At her door they
bid her
a good evening. As she slipped into her room she
could hear
them
roaring with laughter while they walked back to
the elevator. The
woman
brushed herself off. She pulled herself
together and went
downstairs
for
dinner with her husband.
The next morning flowers were delivered to her
room-a dozen
roses.
Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred
dollar bill. The
card
said:
"Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."
It was signed,

Eddie Murphy
Michael Jordan

--

Answer 3

This did not happen, it's a joke...A doctor, a lawyer and a priest went to visit a local elementary school. During the visit, a fire breaks out. The doctor yells "save the kids". The lawyer says "F*&% the kids", and the priest asks "Do you think we'll have enough time?"

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? FULL !!!!!

Answer 4

when me an my mates were young we made a fire out of plastic milk crates. We were drinkin beer and spitting it on the fire which enraged the flames furiously. A lad 4 years oler come over robbed our ale, and thinking he was funny said " i'm gonna pi$$ on your bonfire. " and he did. The flames shot right at the sauce and gave him 3rd degree burns on his face and his nob looked like a nik nak. Pi$$ on our bonfire ey!

Answer 5

Smellyteddy say's,
I can't tell you something funny but i can SHOW you something VERY funny.
Have you ever seen a teddy bear skydiving? Just look at my blog page and you are sure to laugh,
Leave a message and tell me what you think

Answer 6

It's not that funny, but here goes....well, our next door neighbour shouts a lot at her foster son called Callum, and the way she ses it, makes it sound like Helen - my name. So my family were all sat in the garden, and this woman shouts "Callum!" and i thought she said "Helen!" so i go "yeah?" back at her. And then the next time i saw her, she gave me a really weird look....lol

Answer 7

You might as well roll the dice, Mom won't make a deal with you. Yes I just lost at monopoly again.

Answer 8

it was this time it was raining and I was wearing this boots it was on winter and I was getting of the school bus and I slip and I fall right on the stars of the bus it was so funny and I started laughing so hard and the worst ting I was wearing a skirt!!!! oh! man that was embarrassing!

Answer 9

I was once on the loo on a train when the door opened and there was a bloke stood staring at me...

Answer 10

in south africa, a floppy disc (for your computer) is known as a stiffy. on her first day at work in the UK, a south african friend of mine walked into her new (male) boss's office and requested 'do you have a stiffy for me?' as his face began to redden, the boss replied, quite taken aback 'why, what do you need it for?' she was very embarressed to later find that the use of the word 'stiffy' is not used in the UK to refer to a PC storage device.

Answer 11

I was petting a horse and then it booted me in the leg. Ha ha. God it hurt.