I just recently found a porno magazine that my husband had been hiding from me. He said that him and his friend bought it just for the hell of it. How do I react? I am so mad but hurt at the same time. Isn't that like disrespect towards me?
2006-08-04 04:18:04 · 56 answers · asked by clnavarro82 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes it is...
why does he need to look at someone else, when he has you.
be mad very mad but most of all let him know
so he won't do it again..
if you find anymore burn them..
don't be too mad just talk too him about how it makes you feel..
2006-08-04 04:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 5⤋
It isn't disrespectful and not a problem unless he is using the porn and not having sex with you.
If was just for fun and not really causing a problem then fine, but I would ask him why he had to hide it from you? One porn magazine is no big deal at all. He must have had some idea of how you would react. Talk to him, tell him it is okay once in a while as long as it isn't something he is doing all the time.
Relax, let him enjoy it a little, he will appreciate your understanding.
2006-08-04 04:23:41 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this hurts you, but I think your are over reacting to a large degree. There really is no difference between him seeing a woman in a magazine and seeing her on tv. Lets face it he can turn on the tv and see naked women just by watching most R rated movies. Looking at a magazine is not all that bad and ultimately it has nothing to do with you and how he looks at you. Men are visually stimulated beings. That is a simple fact of life. Be glad that he chooses simple visual stimulation from a magazine and isn't seeking visual and physical stimulation from some other woman instead.
2006-08-04 04:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girls girls girls, you all need to know that guys sometimes need visual to help get things going. I used to be like you and get hurt over it, and pissed, and refuse to like watching porn, but I have since come into my sexual prime, Im 37, my husband and I have some of the best sex ever when we turn on some porn first. We have the playboy channel, and it has alot of diffierent type of porn, it's girl friendly. He is not being disrespectful to you, Im sure he loves you, and he is not thinking at the time hes looking at that, oh I wish this was my woman instead of what I have, he's not thinking that at all, all he is doing, is looking, and getting a visual and creating a fantasy in his head, if you were there with him, you would be having some killer sex. Please follow my advice, dont be jealous, men do not have emotional sex like us girls do, his heart is not with those magazine girls, but if you allow him to look, and fantasize, you are more likely to keep your man, and have a great sex life for a long long time to come. I know this from experience. I treated porn like it was the enemy, its not, it's your friend. Trust me, if you put some on and act like you like it and WANT him to watch it, he will be so turned on by YOU! The more you react mad and hurt, the more he will hide it from you. Just try it. One time and see how he reacts if you allow it. I will guarantee a wild night for you. And many praises from him.
2006-08-04 04:35:25 · answer #4 · answered by cutiepie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no. I've been married for three years now. I found out my husband had borrowed a porn from someone at work and he lied to me about it! I was furious. One, because I have a big jelousy bone, and two, because he was doing it to try and fit in with this guy. This guy was a total ***! He cheated on his wife on a regular basis and just treated her like sh*t in general. It was either his way or the highway! Marriage should not be like that. Marriage is a partnership. Anyways, you need to explain to him how hurt and upset you are. Scream and yell if need be. I did. Just realize though that he is a man. he's gonna do it. Sucks I know. Give him a taste of his own medicine, let him find one of yours! He'll get the picture then!
2006-08-04 04:26:37 · answer #5 · answered by marieandlucaspape 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be mad but I dont think you should take it way too seriously that it causes a fight of any sort between the two of you. You must know by now from the other answers that all guys or atleast majority look at porn whether or not they have a girlfriend or wife, its like in their hormones. You can't change that. Don't feel that he chose a porn magazine over you, because he didn't, it's not like he cheated on you with a wh*re right? So be angry if you want, but just remember it didn't harm you in any way.
Peace.
2006-08-04 04:24:12 · answer #6 · answered by Puja N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you SHOULD be mad at your husband. Shred that nasty magazine and have a talk with him-ask him why didn't he tell you about it earlier. If it wasn't a big deal he wouldn't have hidden it.
He disrespected you BIG time.
You don't buy a nasty magazine like that just for the heck of it. It was bought for a reason.
Do what you need to do, this is really rude of your husband to do this to you.
2006-08-04 04:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not worry about it, unless of course he has lied to you before, then you may want to ask questions. However, men look at porn, I would not go as far to say that all men do it, but I will go ahead and say that most men do it. Some men get it out of their systems when they are boys by stealing their father's mags, other men do it when they are single, and then there are some that look at porn occasionally when they are married. If he looks at a magazine I would not worry about it, it shows shows that he has sexuality and well, he is expressing it by looking at pictures. Remember they are only pictures! Those girls in magazines aren't real, at least most of their body parts aren't..and they air brush the hell out of them..so maybe he fantasized about these type of girls, but as long as he doesn't go outside of the marriage and he still enjoys being with you, let him look.
Besides if you do not let him look, and he still wants to occasionally, he will, except then it will be behind your back.
2006-08-04 04:41:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree, I would be mad and hurt as well. You have 2 choices here either tell him how it made you feel and figure out a way to make it right and move on or just hold it all in a be miserable. I think its one of those things that you just have to talk about and then move on. You can't bring it up whenever he does something else to make you mad. I will tell you from experience if you just hold it in and not talk to him about it the only one thats going to end up mad and hurt is you and thats not fair.
2006-08-04 04:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by n2dp4me2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only disrespect if you have not allowed yourself to grow up emotionally. Men will be men and the more you hold on to a notion that you want your husband to be visually loyal, the more you'll learn about disappointment.
Just be strong and secure enough within yourself and your marriage to allow your husband some idle visual pleasure, I would even say--enjoy it with him.
However, if his extra curricular activities begin to change and more secrets begin to be revealed, I would watch him more carefully, but definitely not judge him for having a magazine.
2006-08-04 04:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by bye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure everyone else on here will say it's no big deal, that men will be men. But I'm with you ... I found it very hurtful when my husband was looking at that type of stuff on the internet.
Hopefully, he's telling the truth & it's just this one magazine & not any bigger problem than that.
I know how you feel ...
2006-08-04 04:21:47 · answer #11 · answered by mom1025 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋