This is my situation. I was engaged to my boyfriend of 2 years. I am 21 just so you know. Our relationship has always been good. Then the last month we were together, he acted weird. My immediate instinct was that he was cheating. I found out that was true. I confronted him and he told me that he hasn't been happy the last couple months bc he felt like I wasn't there for him. Then he ran into an old friend and she was there to listen to him. We broke up, but not before I told him that I also cheated on him, with a friend whom I had only known a few months and we went out and got drunk. We are now trying to work things out because we do both love eachother. We have a lot to work on, but do you think it's possible to work this out? Everyone who is older than me-coworkers and what not say that I shouldn't even try bc he will do it again. What do you all think? I need advice bc I truly love him.
2006-08-04 04:04:36 · 22 answers · asked by traci00 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's very sad that you both cheated on one and other. If you two are able to communicate in a mature fashion and spill the beans on what's happening in your relationship then you may stand a chance. However; if you continue to make excuses for not being faithful to each other then I'm afraid that your relationship is doomed and sure as heck history will repeat itself. You may also want to consider some form of couples counselling. Best of luck in trying to patch things up.
2006-08-04 04:10:43 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Listen dear, yes once a cheat always a cheat. Don't belittle yourself by staying with this man. He is no good for you. Besides now days you must be so careful that your cheating man does not bring you home any unwanted gift....... std's. You need to have more respect for yourself and know that you do not deserve to be treated like this. You need to be a proud woman and stand up for yourself. Once a cheat always a cheat. Just remember that next time he cheats he will tell you once again he is sorry and he loves you. It will always be the same old story the only difference is it may take you longer to find out or you will end up with a terrible gift from him. Take care of yourself and GOD BLESS.
2006-08-04 11:19:56 · answer #2 · answered by Wilma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's twice a cheater always a cheater. Anyone can make a mistake once. Decide if you're better off with this guy than without him.
If you decide you are willing to forgive, not forgive and forget but forgive lay down the law. Tell him he has two strikes and if you even suspect this has happens again that is strike 3 and he's gone. Say it and more importantly mean it.
Luck
2006-08-04 11:13:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advise to you is to follow your heart, if your heart tells you to give him another chance, then let go of the past and look to the future bc if you constantly think of what he did or if you're scared of thinking of what he might do, then it will never work. True love is awesome and generally only comes around once in a lifetime so if you feel that is what you have with him, go for it!! Good luck!! Oh yeah, if he does it again and you catch him, get rid of him, bc on the other hand true love from one side is no good and if he loves you in return he will not do this to you again!!
2006-08-04 11:11:25 · answer #4 · answered by mom of 3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u truly love him,then just tell him what u feel for him.u both love each other so much.. but u may have gone off the track in ur relationship at times, but the point here is if u both need each other in ur lives then nothing can stop u..its up to u 2 forgive him for what he did and accept him if he has realized his mistake.
start a new life with him forget the past and trust him.show Ur affection for him and make him realize what he did was a big mistake.
2006-08-04 11:14:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like neither of you are ready for commitment. I would hold off on the engagements until you are sure you are with the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. When you find that person, cheating will be the last thing on your mind because you will only be able to think of him. But from personal experience I didn't take my ex back after he cheated on me because I figured that would only show him that he could get away with it.
2006-08-04 11:23:42 · answer #6 · answered by bobbysgirl703 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow yo heart and i'm just letting u know my best friend was once in the same situation but thank god she was not engaged 2 him. but he cheated and she found out she dump him a couple a month later she gave him another chance after he swear he wouldn't never cheat on her again. three weeks in the relationship she walk on him with another so call friend of hers. i'm not saying he'l do the same but cheater will be cheater.
2006-08-04 11:26:33 · answer #7 · answered by M$. N!CK@ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually when someone cheats, if they dont come clean by themselves and are found out, they will cheat again.
if he hasnt been happy the last couple of months because he felt like you werent there, thats one of the flimsiest excuses ive ever heard.
so what happens next time he feels like you arent there?
maybe things could work out, but the cheating is always in the back of your mind and could you really trust him again? from experience, trust is the foundation of any relationship. if you dont have trust, you dont have much.
2006-08-04 11:13:38 · answer #8 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe in that saying. You two should go your separate ways. By cheating on one another you both will always have that doubt hanging between you. You won't trust each other the way you used to.
2006-08-04 11:11:02 · answer #9 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww, i agree what old folk says, because i had same prob like you before. i cheated on my x but he cheated on me too, i found out when he changes to be weird. it is hard because of my anger and jealousy i cant forgive him, i talked crap and abused him with my bad verbal. then i realized that i shud not rely or want him back although he might be the best bf for me ever (from the way he treated me) and i dont want to feel lonely for not having someone on my side, but seriously it is WRONG. because then we had to be together again for 2 other years and he CHEATED again, now he has a new gf but he still wants me to be there for him, like we never break up, still being intimated to each other and talk sex.. u know, it is WRONG so i told him to get lost, if he wants sex or w/e then just go to his new gf, i feel pitty for his new gf, she doesnt know anything that his bf still loved me.. and i told my x not to make other woman suffered like i got and he said "I dont care, if we dont bring up to public, noone knows, even my new gf wont know" so trust me guys will repreat stuff!! for real, and my motto is "never take your x back" more over if you break up because of third party!!!!!!!!! i am serious!!
2006-08-04 11:21:03 · answer #10 · answered by Veloce 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋