now ıts 2 years that ı am marrıed ı love my husbend but we are not very happy .wıll ıt change and ımprove?

Question

durıng these 2 years we had so many problems and we hurt eachother so much although we love eachother but we dont respect eachother although we want.we fight with eashother although we dont want .we dont care about eachother although we love eachother.we can not be far from eachother although when we are together we fight with eachother.we are both young and we want to change and we are trying to change but some times i can see that he doesnt try and ...will it change and improve.? i want this but he must want also and he must try also.

Answer 1

yall r jus gettin over bein newlyweds of course it will change my brother been married for 5 yrs and its jus startin to come down and they final got every thing under control wat eachother likes and dont like its jus part of bein newlyweds its will change give it time and if u think its wont see a dr bout it r cheap way to go sit down a really talk both of yall say wat ever needs to be said

Answer 2

Seek counseling, it helps. If it doesn't help or if you refuse to go, ask yourself, do you really love eachother or are you both just staying in your comfort zone? It is much easier to say that you love someone than to actually treat the person like you love them. The fact that you both seem unhappy this early in the marriage does not bode well. You hit the nail on the head when you said that he has to want to improve things too. If you both want it and put in the work, you will be fine. If you don't, have the courage to end things and find someone who will work with you and make you happy. While the divorce rate is up, I feel sorry for those who are unhappy but stay in a relationship, especially if they are young and have a bright future ahead of them. Try therapy, there is no shame in it and it will allow you to answer the questions posed and many more.

Answer 3

The only person you can change or control is you. You can't make him want to change. You say that you love one another but what you describe sounds like co-dependence. You two give each other something but it isn't very healthy for either of you. If you are serious about making your marriage work you should both seek counseling... either a priest or a doctor. You say you are both young. I have been married three times (twice divorced and once widowed) and getting married young is a bad idea... no matter how much you love one another. Making a relationship work is much harder than it looks. Counseling may give you the skills it takes to heal the wounds of the last few years and allow your marriage to grow.

Answer 4

Be honest with each other. Both of you should really think about what you want and expect out of this relationship.

I think it would be a good idea for you each to make a list of all the things you want to address with one another. This way you can cover everything that is preventing you from having the harmonious marriage that you want.

Talk about the things you do that hurt one another. Explain what you feel you need from each other in order to make this a happy union. After you are both clear about what the other person wants and needs from this relationship, you'll most likely have to compromise to find some middle ground where you can both be happy and fulfilled.

Marriage counseling would also be a good avenue.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Realize and remember that it takes two to argue. Be the stronger yet more submissive one and do not argue with him. Be the one to end things first. Soon there will be no more arguments and without nagging and bi#<#in you will have changed him by changing yourself. Do things for him like run a bubble bath, ask him if he needs a massage, put candles and wine on the dinner table. Tell him you love him and kiss and hug him alot. Men have humongous egos that need a lot of stroking. The sooner you embrace and not fight against that you'll be creating your happiness. Make sure to pray for him and you ... there are three in your marriage, right? You, him and GOD. You can't change a man honey, he is the head and you are the NECK, which means you can INFLUENCE him and thus win back his soft side.

Answer 6

Get some counseling, honey. sounds like me and my husband--lack of communication skills. You guys need better tools to be better able to talk to each other better so that you both feel heard and nobody's feelings are hurt. But you know what I've learned? Men are a bit different. Men tend to want to solve problems. And when my husband can't solve something, he goes into shut down mode. For years my husband would shut me out when we'd argue. He wouldn't listen. Cause he didn't know what to do. We're only learning now because I was unhappy I had to something, and went to counseling.

good luck to you. Don't give up yet, honey. Chances are he does love you very much and wants it to work as much as you do, but he doesn't know how either. Try sitting down and talking to him calmly. In fact, ask him...tell him you would like to talk and ask him when a good time for him would be. I've heard that puts things on a more even keel and he won't feel so attacked. And try to remain calm when you do. Use "I feel" statements instead of "you always" statements so he doesn't feel attacked (this is a very common mistake).

Answer 7

Look, ya'll need to sit down and talk about this . Fighting is not good and can lead to serious injuries and maybe death. How can you be in a relationship and get no respect . Respect is very important if you ask me. Counselin is a good option for the both of you. But PRAYER is the best option. Prayer Changes Things

Answer 8

Marriage is not easy. Two years you guys are still getting to know each other and your ways. The foundation of any marriage has to be good communication. Try talking, remember one talks and the other listens. If you find you guys are having a hard time, it's OK to seek counseling. Marriage is work just like any relationship. You need to invest in order to get returns. Fight for what's yours. Make it work, marriage is wonderful.

Answer 9

Honey, marriage is work. BUT...it is well worth the effort. My first year alone was bad, but that's ok. You learn and grow with each other. Now, if you are getting physically abusive to each other, you both need some anger management classes. There has to be some give and take and sometimes you just have to give and give in order for it to work. I've been married 14 years. It does get better, I promise, as long as you are willing to work for it and fight for your marriage.

Answer 10

Get some counseling. It CAN work, it just takes a lot of effort. My husband and I married at 18 and have pretty much always been happy. Communication is the key. There has to be respect, love and commitment.

Answer 11

You both are feeding off of each others inexperience, this is why many say your to young to get married, or experience life more before you get married...but love is blind and you can't see these obstacles until you run right into them...you both need to learn how to deal with your everyday problems, how to acknowledge what is wrong, how to fix it and how to move on without repeating the same problems over and over...seek professional guidance...its never to late to learn how to become a happier couple, it just take both of your effort...good luck.