my boyf is in the process of getting divorced...?

Question

(note I'm 19 and he's 25) he has two kids and his (ex) wife's boyfriend just left her...what if she tries to come back to my boyfriend (do you think she would) what should I do if she does and what should I do if he even thinks twice about it...i really care about him and he says he cares about me way too much to ever think about going back to her...help

Answer 1

Most times, when couples go threw a divorce, they are done. Breaking up or separating for a while is one thing.... but getting divorced is very draining on a person. But seriously.... If he even thinks about getting back with her, Move on!!! You dont need that kind of drama in your life, and once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater! So if he cheats.... LEAVE HIM FOR GOOD!! Good Luck. angie

Answer 2

Wow, hes 25 and has an ex and has 2 kids? I think you are setting yourself up for a very difficult life with him. The ex may try to come back...who knows? If he 'thinks' about going back to her...theres really nothing that you can say or do...after all, she's got the kids and that means alot. You are only 19 years old...and you are really going to have a difficult time with this relationship if it continues. Its always going to be him, the kids, the ex wife and you...I don't know if you can accept a life with all those complications. Life is hard enough without adding all these extra problems. Look at the situation and think...and think seriously...forget the sex, and how much you say he cares for you....and just think of what your life will be like. You can only come up with the answer to that....Again, you are 19 years old....and what if you and he have kids one day? I'm sure you love him but love only goes soooo far. Just think of it all in the long term and do whats best for YOU. Jealousy is awful...and it gets worse with time...

Answer 3

To all the young ladies out there. A word of caution and advice from the Diva.

Never, ever and i mean NEVER get yourself involved with a man who is married or separated from his wife until they are DIVORCED. And even then, wait at least 6 months to a year before even ATTEMPTING a relationship with him.

When a man is going through a divorce, or break-up it's really hard for him, harder than women (even though they may not show it). They are at a vulnerable point where they want and need and crave love from someone. And if you happen to come along during this time he will fall deep into LUST with you.

How can he have loved his wife that he had children with, leave her, in the process of divorce and yet love you? Does that make any sense ladies?

You are a stop-over point until he gets his head together. You my dear are providing him the much needed attention and affection he so desparately needs.

And why are you worrying about his ex, and if he will still be with her? You can not control anyone's emotions. Only he can. And you already knowing he is coming from a break-up should be very careful about allowing him to involve you in their drama. It's not your problem.

A man should come to you whole with no ties (other than children) to his ex. If he has drama, it's most definitly going to affect your life. If the break-up is bad his ex may be always scheming to get him back, or make life difficult for you both.

You're 19 sweet pea. You have any clue how much more life you have ahead of you? Are you using protection? What if he gets your pregnant? Now he has an ex-wife to take care of, along with his children with her, now you and a new baby. Do you think that will strain your relationship with him, or make it better?


Love is HARD. Sometimes we fall in love with people we have no business being with in the first place. For you, at 19 to put yourself through the mental stress of wondering if he will remain with you tells me a lot of things about you. Don't be insecure about yourself. Don't involve yourself with a man that came to you as another woman's husband. Past history is a good indicator of future performance. At 25, people RARELY change the core of their personalities.

Have you done a background check on him? Did you find out about his credit? Has he been known to have a violent temper? What are the real reasons he is getting a divorce. A man or woman can SAY anything. But there are always three stories. One is his, one is hers, and the other is the truth.

Think about it.

Diva

Answer 4

1st of all how can he be ur bf if he's still technically married.. what u should've done was waited to start a relationship w/this married men once the divorce was final.. then u would've been able to see his true feelings for u and for his ex.. the last thing u should wanna be is the side chick, the rebound chick, or the chick that's sewing his oats because of the situation w/his wife..

there's a 50/50 chance and anything is possible..

now if he's thinking bout getting back w/his wife then what do u mean what should u do?? there will be nothing u can do because he wasn't ur's to begin with and u would then need to move on and find ur own man.. don't be a sucker and stick around and wait to see if he wants u.. never give a man a choice to choose between u and another woman...

Answer 5

Please!!

Well this describes what type of person you are (no I did not say woman) because women do not have married men for boyfriends, separated or not it is taboo!

It is nice that you care about him--Say he stays with you a couple of years down the road he gets boared with you what do you think he will do?
The same thing he is doing now except you are going to be in the other position like his wife is now!!
Guess you didn't think of that! Why accept used Good's find you someone who is not already involved emotionally.

Answer 6

The only thing you can do is wait. I know this will be hard but the last thing you want is to get in the middle of this one. They obviously cared about each other, enough to have two kids. Dont push and dont ask him all the time if he is through with her. If he gives any hint that he still cares about her let him go, there are plenty of guys out there not confused about who they are with. Hang in there your answer will come soon.

Answer 7

well if he loves you then you don't have to worry,,,,,,,but if i were you i would be thinking more about the two kids, are you at 19 prepared to take on a relationship with children, his ex wife will always be in and out of his life because of the kids.. Thats alot to think about. Good luck

Answer 8

One you are worrying too much. If he gets back with her it may only be for the kids. So you just have to be patient and let him go through the divorce. Then you can feel more secure about what he is and is not going to do.

Answer 9

The reality is he is still married. So when you say go back to her, he still belongs to her. You are young and you seem smart, get out while you can get your own man and have your own kids. Married people are too much drama, drama you don't need.

Answer 10

Yeah they will always have a connection becuase of the kids. It will all depend on him. Your way to young to deal with that, but if thats what you want good luck!