How do I tell her?

Question

I have asked this before but I didn't get a good answer, How do I tell my mom that I want to move out without hurting her feelings too bad, I mean I know it's going to hurt her but I do want to move out on good terms...(I'm going to move in with my grandma because I don't like where I am living now and I don't like how I get treated...I will be 18 on the 12th) PLEASE HELP!!!!!---
I have until the 12th.....

Answer 1

Tell her that you are getting older and want to start making decisions for yourself. I would not tell her you are leaving because of the living environment.

As a mother myself, you always view your child as that helpless baby that couldn't even turn over without your help. We want the best for you and to shield you from every hurtful or painful thing in the world. We do not want to see you struggle, ever. It will make us feel like we didn't do our job, like we missed the mark somehow. - This is how your mother will feel.

But as we all know, you raise your babies with the knowledge that one day you have to let them go on their own to discover what the world has to offer, good or bad.

It will be hard and your relationship with your mom will be strained for a little while until she see's that yeah, my baby boy can do it. He is strong enough to handle what life has to throw at him.

Let her know that you love her, but this is something you must do but you will still come to see her, let her know how you're doing and continue to include her in your life. It will not go over easy, she will be angry, but stand your ground and she will most likely come to the realization that she has to let you go.

Let me know what happens.

Diva

Answer 2

I'm a mom -- my son is almost 18 also. The reason you aren't going to get a good answer is because there probably isn't one. I am NOT being mean. It's just that when you are a mom, it is one of those hurtful things you HAVE to go through. You can't stop the hurt --- NO MATTER how nice you make it sound. I'm not saying you shouldn't move out --- sooner or later you'll have to. I moved out when I was 18 myself so I understand. Just however you do it, let he know you love her and that it's not because of her. If she knows those two things, it will help the blow. I wish there was a good answer. I am afraid of when my son decides to move out because I'm going to be crushed -- yet I know it is going to happen. I also know he may move away too. Like I said, as parents it is something we have to face. Not your fault.

Answer 3

"Love you mom, but I'm going to move in with Grandma. I'll still be around to raid the refrigerator and stuff. "

In other words, don't go into great detail. Just lay out the basic facts. Don't go into how you don't like how you are treated, etc. That will definitely cause hurt feelings and probably a fight. Just make sure that if you move out that you are ready to take care of yourself and not still expect Mom to come through for the hard stuff. You may find that Grandma has rules for you also. Be sure you know what you are doing.

Answer 4

This is really a hard one but I will try

Sit down and tell your mom how you feel,tell her that you are not happy at home and that you would really like to go stay with your grandmother for a little while.
it's going to hurt her but moving with your grandmother is a lot better than moving in with a friend I've done it all and trust me it did not turn out right at all but NOW I have my own place and my mother rather that than me living with a man. I'm sure she will understand but if you do go stay with your grandmother please respect her just as if she was your mother if she say no the only other thing you can do would be to get your own place but your only 18 your not ready for that trust me I'm grown and I have a child. take it easy and just talk to her and really see how she feel inside you only get one mother regardless if she's mean, fussy, or just bossy love her and respect her because once she's gone you can't get her back. think about it your only 18 at least wait until you are 23 or 24 to really start making moves.

Answer 5

you just need to tell her you need to talk to her and then sit down and tell her the truth. There is no easy way to do it. The longer you wait the more hurtful it will be, just because you wait til the last minute.

Let her know that you are not happy where you are and you want to experience living somewhere else. Hey there comes the time we all leave the nest, yours is now.

Make the time to sit down and talk to her, that is the best way. Either way you will make the move, but if she is made to feel a part of it in a positive way it will be easier for her to let go too.

My son moved out when he was 18, it hurt a lot... we are very very close which made it even harder. But moms survive. Just let her know you love her and make sure you keep her involved in your life.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Its not easy to move out but you are trying to do it and still be on good terms with your mom. You are 18 and your mom should have known that this day would come. And you are going to live with your grandma...so thats a good thing. All you can really do is talk to your mom about it and tell her that she has to accept the fact that you are an adult and this is something that was inevitable...you are going to move. You will still be her daughter, still talk to her, and still go over to visit her. Its not like you are leaving in anger...so just talk to her and she should understand. If she doesn't, then she has to deal with it...you are doing your best to talk and act like an adult...she should respect and appreciate that.

Answer 7

Ohhh... I did this when I was 16 and I am 20 on the 8th. Your mom is going to be heartbroken either way.... it's a mother's bond. Even if you were had roomates. Explain to her how you are being treated in a very sypathatic voice. Tell her a white lie pretty much... say that you want to try it out for a couple of weeks and it would mean a lot to you... she will eventually get over it but the silent treatment might be there for the first couple of weeks... dont give up on her call her everyday 3 times a day.... if you know she will be hurt then you know how much she loves you and really wants to talk to you... shes just being stubborn.... tell me how it goes... if you want... [e-mail]

Answer 8

Tell your mother you and her need to have a serious talk. Talk to her somewhere private. Then begin on how you are turning 18 and that's a big step and things are moving so fast. Soon you will be going to college or moving to an apartment. Then you say i have been thinking about moving. She's ask why you tell her the truth if she gets sad tell her you will visit her and talk to her on the phone everyday. Tell her this was bound to happen you can't keep living with your mother. You are growing up into a young adult who is responsible. you need to live your own life and make your own mistakes. tell her all of that trust me she will understand i am having the same problems with my mother. i am also turning 18 in 6months and moving after i graduate from schoo. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Hi there,

Firstly, for parents, moving out can hurt but you have to do it, and there's no other way.

I dont know where you live currently, so this all depends on the situation you are in.

May be you can explain that you want to focus on college and a good career, and thats why you want to move. Express that you want her encouragement and best wishes cos you are aiming for a good life.

You can also explain that the environment that you are in does not feel very encouraging, and possibilities for a successful career are very limited. You can say you dont want to do ANY career or go to ANY university, but you want a GOOD career and so you want to go to a GOOD school.

You can say that you do not like the area where you live and that you are planning to move to grandmas because of some reasons (like for example, convenience, mobility, colleges near by etc.)

The examples may change depending on where you are, but the idea is the same.

Most parents who wish for a good career and life for their child should be ok with this I think. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

Have you talked to her about what you don't like about where your living. Have you told her how it makes you feel being treated the way you are being treated.

If she's any kind of mother, she will at least listen if you speak to her in a language she can understand. Tell her how you feel, be honest with compassion.

Sometimes there's no way around some hurt, but if your reasons are logical and fair and you try to understand it from her perspective (put yourself in her shoes too), I'm sure you guys can work it out one way or another.

I just wonder if you are unhappy with the the treatment from your mother or if it's someone else and why you don't like it where you are (not enough room, no privacy, etc.)

If you have your heart set on moving, you have GOT to explain to her your feelings and your resolve to move out.

Answer 11

I would try to put a spin on it and say that most of your friends or acquantances are moving out on their own and you think that is a too big of a step to take since you have lived with her most of your life and it would be hard to move away from family. So instead that you thought maybe by moving in with your grandma would be a small step in the direction of making the big move on your own. I would think that would make it less hurtfull. Any mother would be upset about their child moving escpecially if you are the last one to go or an only child and even the 1st child.