When I was away my husband has been watching porn.I feel bad as he had spend nearly 12 hours on computer even on my birthday. I found it when I was deleting some files and he said his friends used the computer but not him. But recently after 10 months he admitted it. I feel cheated and bad. I will be never able to trust him again.He says all husbands do that (his friends). Is that true. I think he is sick?
2006-08-04 03:03:48 · 61 answers · asked by Thilanka A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
*shakes head* Ok, first off you left for 8 months, for whatever reason, I am assuming either work or deployment. Your husband could have gone out and found antoher lady to get his rocks off, but instead he looked at some pictures and proubly a movie or 2, or more. The fact is men are stimulated by visual images, women are stimulated by intellectual images. Why do you think romance novels are called housewife porn? Now as to the fact that he lied to you abotu it at first, did you ever think he might have been embarassed or that he thought you would react the way you seem to have? What gets me is the fact that you are so upset about him looking at pictures, while at the same time he was totally faithful to you while you were gone. In my own thoughts you should be damn thankful he was looking at pron and not out looking for some strange. As for him being sick, hell no! Do you read romance novels? If so, does that make you sick? Plain and simple, lay off, enjoy the fact that he was faithful and realize that it could have been a whole lot worse. Oh and here's an idea, how abotu talking with him? You might just find that he was envisioning you while getting his rocks off. Ever thought of that?
2006-08-04 03:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by capbarrow2 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he was meeting these women and having an actual affair, then I would agree with you about him being sick.... however if he is just watching the porn and getting horney to do it to you, then I wouldn't complain to much, at least he isn't talking to the women and actually haveing a physical affair, but he could be having an emotional affair, ok........ I just thought of that, and the fact that he did this all day of your birthday!! I would be pissed, definitly, I say go to couple counciling and if that doesn't work after a year or so then I say dump him and find someone worth you and your love and that will be there with you and give you the attention that he is giving to the porn.......... I am sorry, this is real bummer!! Good Luck,
2006-08-04 03:11:24 · answer #2 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not have a problem with him watching porn but would not like him to lie to me about it. And I would probably want to watch it with him once I was back home!!! Might as well make the most of it.... At least he did not cheat on you but found another way to release his sexual feelings. Just because he is with you, it does not mean he does not fancy other women or has fantasies so allow him to have this - as I said he is not cheating on you, just living his fantasies. Quite healthy I think...... But the bottom line is that if you do not feel confortable with this you will have to talk and sort it out. It is not something all people like!
2006-08-04 07:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course most men do, and as long as it's not child porn I cannot see what your problem is. Well infact I can, the problem is that he is not relaxed enough in your company to be able to do it infront of you or to even be able to admit to watching it. I feel sorry for him. If my husband wants to look at porn when I'm with him he does, likewise if I want to so do I. For goodness sake grow up and get a life, I really find it so hard to believe that you are making such a big issue out of nothing. You need to take a good look at your relationship.
2006-08-04 03:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are fascinated by porn ... it's almost like a drug (but only as alcohol and cigarettes are drugs).
There's nothing wrong with looking at porn. He obviously needed to satisfy himself and presumably used porn rather than a hooker or the next door neighbour ... Just be happy that he satisfied his carnal desires with pictures!
8 months is a long time to go without ... I've gone without for far longer because my wife doesn't ... so porn is a relatively harmless way to let off steam and more besides.
2006-08-04 03:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be so glad that he just looking at the stupid computer.... and be gald that he didn't go out and see real woman an dhave sex and all that. Of course he lie first time becasue he knew that if he told you and you would think he is sick and thinking that he cheating on you....
You know look porn on computer when my wife left and when she got bck and I told her this she didn't get mad and I asked why you not mad? she said first of all you told me and that is honest second of all just computer looking at naked women... they are not real and just like picture and you never go out look for to hook up.. if you did go out with female you always tell me who you went with because knowing that I trust you 110%.. wow, i was shocked.
So it not cheathing. you been gone for 8 months how can he feel that he had a choice to go find a woman to bang with or just look at porn computer.. he chose that because nothing happen. I felt bad for him. and You should find better job to be around him more... I married to my wife where we both work 7 to 5 every day and come home 530 to be home with kids eveyr day... she knew that if she have what you doing for 8 months I wouldn't last long.
Pls understand this it normal for a guy to look at. if you want to end it then end it now... because you not being fair to him at all... that why he plays himself that is smart because banging a woman then whole alot different story! it seem it about your husband everything is wrong, lie, etc. but you don't sit back and say ohhh, crap gone 8 months and It not fair to my husband and will try make this work better by finding better job.
2006-08-04 03:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, why exactly would you mind? I don't get it - you were not there for him, he didn't cheat on you, he just found some substitute that did not mean actual unfaithfulness. Yes, watching porn is pretty normal, especially when a man is alone. If he is not watching porn while you are at home, that means he is totally satisfied with you, which I for one would take as a compliment. And men miss sex, that is also normal; some people don't have good visualisation skills to get their, erm, necessities satisfied, so they use external visuals. So what?
2006-08-04 03:12:42 · answer #7 · answered by AlphaOne_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? Men get horney. Porn is a multi billion dollar a year industry. Lots of men and women watch it. Some do it for forplay. The women who don't like it should deal with it or undergo some political campaign to make it illegal. If it's child pornography then he's sick. If it's adults then it's a matter of opinion. Get over it. It's not cheating. It's watching porn. To my knowledge there is no psychological disorder associated with it unless the person becomes obsessed. Besides if you were there to take care of him....
2006-08-04 03:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by a_poor_misguided_soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so uptight. Fine, divorce him, he'll probably be better off without you. He had a **** while you were away for 8 months, what do you expect him to do, live like a monk? Lighten up and realise he didn't cheat, didn't even think about it but got some relief while YOU were away in the only way he knew how. You have a problem, not him.
2006-08-04 04:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by fishy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were away from him for 8 months him watching porn on a computer is a blessing. If my wife was gone for 8 months there's no way in this world i could be faithful. Like most men I prefer to have sex everyday. I could probably last a few months at the most. 8...impossible.
2006-08-04 03:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by WEEBLEZ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋