What do you do when your marriage is about to fail and you want save it? What should I do?

Answer 1

Get some counseling!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

very complicated question....it's not clear if it affects you or you're just asking to open up a thread of discussion. Marriage failure is very complex and involves both parties; assuming that you have been faithful to one another but have grown apart, it is possible that it was not meant to be. However; if either party has strayed, then it is a more complex situation; let assume that you were cheated on; then you need to analyze what the root cause might have been for him to stray from you. I am not saying it was your fault, but you have to analyze your actions and then do the same for his. It could be that the sexual intimacy has deteriorated to the point that he's no longer interested. However, sex is not the most importatnt aspect of marriage, it is uncompromised love and deep respect for each other that binds the marriage (let's leave religion out of the picture) . The sex is just as good as each other's want and experience and should not be the main reason for marriage failure.
When two people stop respecting each other, all trust gone and love dissapears, it's best to move on and learn from the experience. Even if one cheats and is forgiven by the other for whatever the reason was, the relationship will not be the same again no matter what, some experts agree on this. I think the reason is that once the damage is done, the trust is gone and no matter what you do, it's always in the back of your mind whether it will happen again. The one that cheated will find that they are always questioned and forced to explain any little thing out of the ordinary, it becomes a task just to stay in the relationship. I know a lot of religious advice will be given; but usually speaking from faith is not the answer because it usually will make you feel guilty and the truth is, human nature drives our life with whatever religious belief you have.
So that leaves us with the last scenario, if both of you really want to save the marriage, go to counseling and find out the root cause. It may still turn out that after all the effort, you may not want to be married to each other, whatever the reason is, make the right decision and hope for the best. When it's time to move on, do so with respect for each other and don't break up with anger (assuming neither was cheated on right?)....as I said, too complex of a question...

Answer 3

Like someone else said - depends on why. If he or you are cheating then I think the marriage should end. (but that is just my humble opinion) or if there is abuse.

Other than that I think that the vow which was made must be honored. A promise doesn't mean very much if everyone keeps breaking it because of hards times. I should know, my marriage is not at all happy...but I am doing my best and I have seen my husband respond in a positive manner. I doubt if I will ever feel attraction for him again, but I figure if I do things right then God will bless my efforts eventually(someway or somehow)???

Answer 4

There are a lot of opinions on here on what you should do, but going through this myself I can really sympathize with you. First let me tell you, that I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time. It is not easy to see your marriage failing before your eyes. Secondly, keep in mind that if your partner is resolved in going out the door, there is nothing that you can do to "save" the marriage. It is not your fault that he is leaving, so don't blame yourself, you cannot change another person unless he wants to.

However, there are things you can do for yourself to make it easier. Praying is good, but God does not always give you what you want--only the strength to get through it. Surrendering your life from here on, your marriage, your feelings to Him is wise. It is easy to get resentful and bitter if you didn't see this coming, and faith helps see past this time in your life to another glorious time when we will have no hurts. Another thing is to get your partner to write down or tell you concretely the reasons why he is leaving. Money problems, not in love anymore, whatever the reasons, it will help you to cope. Counseling is the best thing you can do for yourself to work out your feelings, and if there is any blame or guilt involved that can be dissolved. Good luck, and remember that only God can change people, you cannot.

Answer 5

Get some counseling. If you are religous then you should pray together to try and save it. Try to make time for each other and schedule some time to talk about what the problems are and how you can resolve them. Sit down and let one person say what they feel is wrong and do not interupt them even if you think they are wrong. Then resummarize to them what you heard. So what you are saying is............how do you think we can work on this? After they tell you how they think it can be handled then it is you turn to say how you think it should be handled.

Repeat this back and forth also if there are many issues you are dealing with you probably would want to deal with them at separate times. I am not saying it will work but it is a start.

Answer 6

Depends on why its failing. Also depends on if both of you want to save it. I learned that the hard way from a cheating husband.

A marriage can only be saved if two people want it to. I did and he didnt no matter how much I tried to fight for it. There comes a time where your just tierd of fighting for something that really isnt there.

Answer 7

You need to sit down with your spouse and have a very open and serious talk. Possibly do this over dinner where it can just be the two of you. Stay positive during the conversation. Start by talking about the past! Talk about the good things you two did together.
When you first started dating, your wedding. Once your both in a positive frame of mind, talk about your issues that your having.
Both of you need to agree to stay positive and try to see the other side of things. If you can both do this and both of you make compromises, then you will have a chance to turn things around in your marriage. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

Do you have kids.... well I have one and my marriage failed. Saving a marriage is not about changing on or another but compromising with each other on some of the things that need to be changed. Example... if your spouse parties 5 times a week and your not into that. See if he will compromise with you on maybe 2 times a week. You get the drift. I wish you nothing but luck and love but darling.... if it's not meant to be you know it in your heart......don't lie to yourself....

Answer 9

Do you know what the problem is? Can you fix it without compromising your own happiness? Is the other party willing to meet you half way? When do we finally say enough is enough?And when it's over move on. I wish you the best of luck but if its over dont mistreat yourself.
I personally have never been married but a dated a fella for 15 years. I found out that he wasn't the man i thought was madly in love with me. I tried too hard to make him happy. i wouldn't eat unless i was feeding him and he was cheating on me something terrible with all of the bottom of the barrel @#%^&( you could find any where. Paid rent and mortgages and i never asked him for a dime because i made more money than he did and was very successful at my job. Then when i decided to move on.. BOY did he change! Now he wishes i would act like he was the man i slept with all those years.

Answer 10

Go to counseling and if the counseling doesn't work then it should just end. Some marriages weren't meant to be saved so why even go through the trouble. Why keep hurting your self in those kind of ways?

Answer 11

PRAY!! Ask God to save and restore your marriage. Talk to a pastor or a Christian counselor. Email me, I know some people who can talk to ya. If you guys can get past whatever you're going through, then u can make it. As long as he's not slappin you around the house or vice versa or on the down low, then you'll be aight. I've see ppl who have cheated on eachother, get counseling and it's like they're starting all over again.