My wife of 15 years says that she needs time away from me and the kids. Says that she loves me, but hasn't been in love with me for some time. Her dad died when she was born, her mom died almost 3 years ago and she was the youngest of 7 kids. She was 22 when we married and has never been alone before. We just began seeking counseling. Luckily, money is not a problem. She wants to try separating for a while (not sure how long that is).
She's looking for 3 -br apts in our area.
I think ground rules are very important, but I'm not sure I am thinking clearly enough at this point. Can you make suggestions?
2006-08-04 00:28:52 · 8 answers · asked by hellsbells 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Birds flying south
And flowers turn blue
If you can't get it by now
Shame on you
2006-08-04 00:33:20 · answer #1 · answered by Roland 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds alot like the situation I am going through. Wanting to be alone, be away from the kids, parents passing all seem like an excuse to to substantiate her getting time away from you. The fact that you married her when she was 22, and now being married for 15 years should have built a solid relationship, but something might be missing. But when you question whether or not she's in love with you is not a good sign. I believe she has a motive behind her actions. If you still want to be with her, setting ground rules on how things will be handled is just your acknowledgment that it's OK for her to have her time away, especially when you don't know the time frame on how long it will last. Rely on your counseling and attempt to figure out what she really means by her wanting her space.
Hang in there..and don't rush to any wild conclusions.
Best of luck!
2006-08-04 08:32:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File separation papers to protect both you and her should you actually divorce in the future. She will want to explore the alternatives for whatever reason.
since money is not an issue, you have substantial reason to go this direction.
Highly recommend counselling both as a couple and individually.
Any marriage of your length has its difficulties. Keep in mind, the grass is not always greener and i guess she needs to find out for herself.
2006-08-04 13:45:05 · answer #3 · answered by timbother@pacbell.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my ex-husband and I seperated, we rented a small, affordable apt and rather than move the family around, we took turns rotating between the apt and our home. Saved money and less traumatic for kids. Good luck.
2006-08-04 07:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by sunday siren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rules for seperation
1. Maintain communication
2.Don't move too far away
3.Don't get too comfortable being seperated unless you intend it to be permanent.
4.If it is going to be a permanenet or long term seperation get a court order detailing term etc. which will make divorce easier if it comes to that.
2006-08-04 07:35:25 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah Piggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife is moving into her own place she no longer has to follow any rules except hers. Dude WAKE UP!!! Your wife is leaving you and if you don't do something to stop her she may never come back. These rules are going to go so bad for you. DO NOT even bring them up. You are not thinking clearly. Fight for you women if its not too late
2006-08-04 07:39:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is dating allowed? For both of you. How much contact is comfortable with both of you? Make a very clear schedule for the children.
2006-08-04 07:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it a year
2006-08-04 07:32:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋