Which would be the best weapon to defend against Zombie Gardeners?

Question

Hedge trimmers or shovel?

Chris certainly knows his chainsaws doesn't he Kate?

Answer 1

Play Beautiful by James Blunt. Their heads will explode and they will fertilize your lawn.

Answer 2

Oh, I am your man when it comes to Zombies. I have been planning what I would do in the Zombie Apocalypse foe years (maybe I need counselling).
The hedge trimmers don't leave much scope for clubbing or stabbing, also they have a short range. You want to stay as far away as possible from the undead hordes to prevent biting and ultimately, death.
The shovel on the other hand has a wide scope for different kinds of attacks. You can wack them over the head, poke the buggers to keep them at bay or even use the edge of the shovel tip as a blade and decapitate 'em. That would result in an instant kill and prevent resurrection. The only downside is the weight. I imagine a garden fork would have the same effect.
Other home-made weapons in a hurry would be the knife, skateboard, 2X4, hammer and of course the makeshift flamethrower. I'm sure a man like you already knows how this is done so I won't bore you with the details.
The flamethrower would be another way to prevent resurrection. The only downside is if you torch one of the rotting freaks you not only have a brain hungry zombie lurching towards you, you have a brain hungry zombie on fire lurching towards you.

Answer 3

A Hedge Trimmer

Answer 4

Obviously if you have one handy then definately a lawnmower as demonstrated in Braindead.
But if you've only the hedge trimmers or shovel to choose between?
If they're petrol hedge trimmers you could cut off one of your hands and replace it with them. Like Ash in The Evil Dead sequels, well, he had a chainsaw but hedge trimmers might work just as well.
If they're electric you'll be restricted in your movements and have to be very careful not to cut through the lead.
If they're manual I'd go with the shovel. You wouldn't have to get too close to them then.

Answer 5

I hope that never happens... but I would have to say those large hedge trimmers... the zombies are slow, right? So technically you could run up behind them, cut off their head, then run away. I'd use anything I could!! Shaun (in Shaun of the Dead) used some kind of paddle or something, worked for him!

Answer 6

Have you not seen Braindead? Lawnmowers all the way. You can see the adverts now, 'mow your lawn and eviscerate the undead too! Flymo - Zombie proof since 1947'

Answer 7

That's a tough one. I reckon the only way they could be defeated is if Rosemary and Thyme the crime fighting gardening duo were to take them on by singing to them. The zombies would claw their way back into their graves to try and escape them!

Answer 8

Everyone has it wrong A chainsaw This is the one I would recomend with a 30" bar

MS 441 STIHL Magnum™
Chain Saw

DISPLACEMENT
70.7 cc (4.3 cu. in.)

ENGINE POWER
4.1 kW (5.5 bhp)

WEIGHT (powerhead only)
6.6 kg (14.6 lbs)

FUEL CAPACITY
725 cc (24.5 oz.)

CHAIN OIL CAPACITY
360 cc (12.2 oz.)

OILOMATIC® CHAIN
3/8" RM2 or 3/8" RSC3

RECOMMENDED
RANGE OF
GUIDE BARS LENGTHS
40 to 80 cm
(16" to 32")

Answer 9

No, they are no good. Definitely a small petrol lawnmower....

Have you watched Braindead? That's a classic lawnmower zombie-splattering movie - you might be able to pick up some useful tips! ;o)

Answer 10

Go for the shovel that should realy do the trick

Answer 11

Gah! Plant garlic of course