I have been in a relationship for 8 years, have 2 small kids and work. Am usually tired and stressed to some degree. Sex is not really something I feel like at the end of the day. It is causing problems between us. Any suggestions? Should I grin and just do it?
2006-08-03 23:21:07 · 34 answers · asked by Stephanie C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please don't "grin and just do it"! If you do, you may never really enjoy sex again. To try and get this back is not easy with the children and a full time job. What you need to do is become excited about having sex again. One way to start is to set up a "date" with your husband. Pick a date at least a week away, set up a baby sitter for the children. During the week, think about how you and your husband are going to really have a great time in bed on this evening. When the day arrives, the two of you can go out to a late evening dinner. Put on something that you feel sexy in!
At dinner keep things positive and sexy! Talk about the great sex you two had when you first met, your honeymoon or other times.
Tell him your fantasies if you have any and listen to his.
Once your back home (make sure it's after the children have been put to bed), pay the babysitter and as soon as she leaves the two of you can slowly undress each other and you will be amazed at how much you will enjoy this again!
I speak from experience! Good luck
2006-08-04 03:15:00 · answer #1 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've managed to find all the reasons for not wanting to. Maybe you should consider making some time for your marriage. The closeness and intimacy you get from physical encounters with your husband cannot be replaced by any other means. Here's how the thread goes. Continue to say no and in time he will be looking for it elsewhere. You think that's wrong read most of the questions on this page. This is already causing problems what if it continues? You need to make time for your marriage. All the other things,kids,job, are affected by that. Why not spend some time on it. If you believe sex is about intimacy you are saying I'm to tired for that. That is a recipe for a failed marriage. The grin and bear it system is also not very effective. It always helps if you are into it." get it over with " or "if i have to " say you do not want
closeness as well. The key is to make the time in your schedule.
Clean up dinner, put the kids to bed, turn off the TV and spend some time with your spouse. The rest will follow. The message is that your relationship is worth the time and effort to be a couple. Your inability or unwillingness to set aside the other problems of the day indicates a lack of commitment.
2006-08-03 23:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No my wife and are going through the same thing.
Only its me not her, I have just gained interest any other things that are more important.
You will once again enjoy sex but just not like when you were younger.
I don't know your ages but hopefully you partner will try and understand.
I have spoken with doctors who tell me that this is perfectfully normal.
There are other things that the 2 of you can do that will help with this problem. Maybe if your partner done something a little different. Maybe if he done some of the things he use to when you were younger before the children.
Maybe he will do something real sweet or sexy to make you want to have sex. Maybe he would fix dinner or buy flowers or just help the house and children. Then maybe you would have the want and desire. Just a thought.
2006-08-03 23:47:55 · answer #3 · answered by victor S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that you don't feel like having sex after all that! Why don't you get your husband to take on some of the responsibilites for caring for the children, or maybe cooking for you a couple of nights a week so that you can realx with a glass of wine or a cup of coffee when you get in rather than effectively starting work again. When you feel more relaxed, your sex drive should return. If not, the business of your life is not the problem.
2006-08-03 23:32:34 · answer #4 · answered by Fluorescent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No ******* way. Worst thing you could do as it will probably put you off sex for life. If your husband loves you, he'll understand unlike many of the idiots on here. Try and get some time together, kiss and cuddle and the old feelings may start. If not, so what? Don't worry about it as it'll only make things work but talk to him and if he's frustrated tell him to take matters into his own hand if you catch my drift. Who knows, that may excite you enough, but the main thing is, keep talking to him and don't let anyone pressure you.
2006-08-04 05:15:09 · answer #5 · answered by fishy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if he made a special date, got a babysitter, took you out to dance or ejoy something you both like, go to a motel? There are hormomal issues that can interfer with this problem, have you just lost interest or are your reasons an excuse. Would he find it from another?Do you feel taken for granted? There are so many genuine reasons that are not excuses. Maybe get advice from your Doctor or obgyn. I do not think you should do something you feel negitive about and it is your body, isn't it!
Best of Luck!
2006-08-03 23:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by my4dogs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress is not conducive to sex because good sex is also in the mind as much as the body. Any chance family or friends could have the kids for a weekend?...then you can wind down and enjoy yourself without feeling tired or getting interrupted.
2006-08-03 23:27:14 · answer #7 · answered by michael m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The trouble here is, you need to get some time to yourselves with each other.Can you get someone to have the kids at least once a month,then you can share some quality time together.This is one of the reasons men stray,wife too tired,noisy kids interrupting and worrying about work.The trouble is, we want it all these days and I think men forget how hard it is to cope and to keep a home running and be a good parent.It takes it`s toll,but you do need to get back into the sex and love part of your relationship,communicate your needs to him and ask him to help more.
2006-08-04 01:56:35 · answer #8 · answered by AMANDA G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend ! Our Mind is the administrator of our body, whenever we feel tired from our mind then only we suffer all this kind of situations.
Please re schedule your daily life style, try to adjust time for everything, go for outing with family, kids can never be neglected especialy being a mother, Please release your stress by Pray, yoga and other healthy activities. Once your mind is free of all stress you will start enjoying life.
2006-08-03 23:35:07 · answer #9 · answered by farcity79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all go through difficult stages in our relationship and sex is one of them,you work long hours you get home late,you are not losing interest you are just tired back from work,you should sometimes in week ends take the children to see your parents and spend the day with your husband just the two of you enjoying each other,do some thing that will bring love making to life,
2006-08-03 23:28:12 · answer #10 · answered by Faith Nelisiwe N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋