i am 23 yrs old indian girl. i was unwanted child as my parents wanted to abort but couldnt as it might cause threat to my mom's life and it was illegal to abort too. i was raped when i was 7 yrs old. i was regularly beaten up by my dad and my mom used to support my beating. i was not allowed to go out with friends or have any social life. i was raped by my boy friend and his friends when i was 19 yrs old. i was sexually mentally and physically abused by my parents. my relatives dont want to help me either as they dont want to take the responsibility of a girl. still i managed to do my graduation, doing my distance education MBA from IMT.right now i am working for an NGO. but i want to get settle and have my own home and husband, but who ever knows my past runs away from me. they mostly want sex , thats it. will i ever get married or have my own home . but i have no support. if any one can suggest me how to go about the process as there is no one to help me. i often feel suicidal.
2006-08-03 22:52:21 · 11 answers · asked by isha s 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You've come so far!!!Wow, im impressed. You are very strong willed and determined. What I would've done in your situation is to see things in a positive light. Firstly you should be so proud of yourself for getting a MBA and a job(Must be a good one) Dont resent yourself or blame yourself for what happened in the past. I know thinking about your past sometimes makes you depressed, but believe me, it doesnt have to follow you like a ghost your whole life. Its a choice you have to make.Make it your motivation. Say this to yourself and believe it "I deserve to be happy and nothing will stop me. I am a wonderful person. Nothing can drag me down" You will meet a wonderful man one day and he will except you as you are, with your past and everything. In other words you will find TRUE LOVE. When you meet your true love, you will see that you can tell him about your past and that he wouldnt love you any less.I believe that you will be happier than most people, because you will appreciate your family more than others, because you never had it. Let your past be your motivation, think of it as a obstacle that you've overcome and think of how far you have come and how happy you are going to be, because you deserve it. You will be happy and fulfilled, just believe it.Dont think of killing yourself, you will only let the past eat you up and win you over and all those times you were hurt was for nothing.Dont EVER think of suicide. You are strong, dont run away from your problems. Deal with them and except them and move on and believe that you will be happy.
2006-08-04 00:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by Jade22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look I am sorry u had to go through all this hell. But don't ever think about suicide. U have been so strong until now. Don't ever give up. Life never remains the same and has many surprises.
And guys who run away from u cause of ur past are not just worth it. It wasn't ur fault, u were the victim there. If they can't get that its their problem.
Look at the bright side. U already got a job and u are doing good with an mba degree. Just be patient, and strong like u have been. ok? God bless.
2006-08-04 06:16:46 · answer #2 · answered by HeavenlyBull 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very strong and independent, possibly as a result of all this abuse and I'm really amazed you could get your MBA! Well done, that's such an achievement and you should be really proud of yourself for that.
I think the best thing to do would be to sever all those ties with your past as best you can and move somewhere for a fresh start. You still need to deal with your trauma, but by the way you worded your question, I don't think you'll have too much difficulty.
You need to place yourself in a situation where you have new friends who know you for the person you are and won't know about your past in order to judge you. Then they will be happy to support you in the ways you need.
I wish you every success in the future and hope you're able to rise above the horrors of your past.
2006-08-04 06:02:55 · answer #3 · answered by relentless_behaviour 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are one amazing girl. After all you've been through, you have still managed to accomplish so much! We all feel so alone when these terrible things happen to us. If it's any consolation, there are millions of women all over the world that go through the same or worse situations as you every day. We're all in this together. You should continue with your life and tell god what you are looking for in a man. Volunteer work is a good way to get our minds off our own problems and you have so much to share, having survived so much. While you are busy building a new foundation for your new life, god will find the right man and send him your way. A good man will appreciate your strength as well as your beauty. He will show you the joys of your body and make you feel beautiful. Please, please, please, don't think about suicide. How can you get to the happy part if you cop out before it gets to you? If you were to suicide, then they win. Don't give up hope now!
2006-08-04 06:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by R. F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Complete your education first. This way you will have the security of always being able to support yourself financially. The advanced education will also give you added self confidence that you now lack after the abuses you have suffered throughout your life. Don't give up. You will meet someone who will see you for the intelligent, strong person you have become. He will respect you, love you and admire you for perservering through such horrendous adversities. DO NOT GIVE UP!!! And DON'T SETTLE FOR JUST ANY GUY! Make sure he is worthy, and you will share with him the love and joy and life that you're wishing for...and deserving of. I wish you the best
2006-08-04 06:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, you gotta get some counseling, there's gotta be one person you can talk to and ask them to help you, if not, try Dr. Judith Schwambach, she does counseling thru your email and she's really good--see source--and anyway no one has a perfect past, even tho yours is really sad and your parents need to be in jail! Look in the Yellow pages under Mental Health and ask about couseling. You can do it. Be easy on yourself and know you are doing the best you can. And that there is a reason for you to be here on this earth! Pray. God loves you and I do too. Read Psalm 23.
Good luck and don't give up!
2006-08-04 06:11:44 · answer #6 · answered by bookluffer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not true that you are strong because of the abuse... You survived the abuse because you were strong in the first place...
It is to your credit and your credit alone that you are such a strong, intelligent and incedible young woman...
The people who have hurt you have no place in your life...
Find strong loving and caring people... surround yourself with positive and good people.
do find a counsellor and get some help and support for yourself.... never never give up on you...
By succeeding in your own life just being you is enough.
2006-08-04 10:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got the impression that you said you were working on your degree from a distance. I don't know if that means internet, or that you commute, but if your university has counseling resources, that's a really good place to start if you're able.
It wasn't really clear to me where you're writing from, but most cities in the US have somewhere to get counseling on a sliding fee scale; if you don't have a lot of money, they won't charge a lot of money. I'm not in a position to make a diagnosis or anything, but I definitely think that they should be able to help you.
2006-08-04 14:23:52 · answer #8 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi isha, dont worry God is with u! just keep the faith in God.
plz dont plan to kill urself ever. Just think u hv come all this way n become a yooung lady, this is no time to give up. u could visit a counsellor for some emotional help.
could i just know where do u live now? n in wich part of India r u
u cud pm me.
good luck, and keep faith in God everything will become alright, just dont loose it!
2006-08-04 07:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by !i!i!i!FaRnAzA!i!i!i!i 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get off here, and set up an appointment with a psychologist.. Seriously. Being in here will NOT help you.
2006-08-04 10:19:09 · answer #10 · answered by sshhmmee2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋