should i move out of state with my daughter to be closer to my family or should i stay put close to her dad?

Question

i live in alaska, my family and boyfriend are in the south, but my daughter's father and his family are here in alaska. i want to move but i want what's best for my daughter. i have until november to make up my mind. HELP

i live in alaska, my family and boyfriend are in the south, but my 1yr old daughter's father and his family are here in alaska. i want to move but i want what's best for my daughter. i have until november to make up my mind. she spends more time at her grandmother's than her father and he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer anyways. he would rather be fishing than care for her or his 3 other kids. i can make money no matter where i'm at but i hate all this snow. HELP

Answer 1

Take the leap and get out of dodge....your daughters happiness is going to depend on yours as well...you need to set an example...If you have full custody, then the Grandmother and Father can come to the south to see her...Why would you give up your family and boyfriend in the south just so the grandmother and father can see her? Let them travel to the south and visit...and let your daughter see a very happy MOM!!!! Don't live under the beliefs that you have to give up your life for your children to the point that you are missing out on family and love with a companion...You are a mom and what is most important is that she sees that you are happy, a happy loving mom is the best thing for her....

I am a mother of 3 little girls, and I had to learn to stop giving up so much of my life for them (because I thought that was what was best for them) but in the long run it made me unhappy, and an unhappy mom is not what's best for them....You are still a person to live life for yourself as well as a mother...just keep her safe and loved and she will be fine with a happy loving mother and visits from dad and grandma......And if dad and grandma choose not to visit then so be it...at least she will have a happy mom that loves her up all day.....

Answer 2

You have to see the situation first before making a decision, First see if your daughter is ok with the idea of moving out away from his ather besides he is already have another family, if she's cool with and if you think you will do good at the new place for you and your daughter why not. the most important thing is the future of both of you. Emotions are always there but you can help it by having a good talk with yoiur daughter and anybody involve but finacially you need to be stable and you secure.

See the difference, try to make background check then amke a good decision. For suer your daughter will understand. And besides, nothing will change, he will still be the father only they will not see each other more often but soon they will get used to it and it will be easy for you guys to fix the gap.

Answer 3

Will u be able 2 support her if u move. If u r able 2 support her y dont u like make it a rule 2 visit her paternal side of the family every holidays. Maybe 3 to 4 x a year depending on yr finances.

Answer 4

I say move, if he doesn't spend any time with the girl now, what make you think that he will next year? I was to in that situation, I did give the father lost of chances to prove him self, but he never did, in fact he blamed me for getting another girl pregnant the same time I was. I moved on, I know that one day my oldest son will ask questions. And when that day comes I'll be sure to tell him the truth about his real father.

Answer 5

if u can manage financially there, then i would say u need to do what is best for your daughter, its not fair to her, that just because u and your husband couldnt hold it together that she has to pay for the mistakes you both made.. she needs to have her mother and father in her life as much as possible..

Now.. if he decides to move on with his life, and doesnt see her much and starts neglecting her (doesnt keep promises, doesnt come for his visitations, doesnt take an active role in her life on a regular bases , basically a dead beat father) then at that point when/if that time comes then id go ahead and go cause shes not missing anything at that point, but as long as he wants to be a father to her, then u should definately stay for her sake..

Answer 6

if u can manage financially there, then i would say u need to do what is best for your daughter, its not fair to her, that just because u and your husband couldnt hold it together that she has to pay for the mistakes you both made.. she needs to have her mother and father in her life as much as possible..

Now.. if he decides to move on with his life, and doesnt see her much and starts neglecting her (doesnt keep promises, doesnt come for his visitations, doesnt take an active role in her life on a regular bases , basically a dead beat father) then at that point when/if that time comes then id go ahead and go cause shes not missing anything at that point, but as long as he wants to be a father to her, then u should definately stay for her sake..

Answer 7

Your daughter is happier with her grandmother (your parents) and that's important for her. She doesn't need a father when you could be one and the same time for her. I'm sure your mom's going to take care of her too.

I really suggest you go where your heart is because that is the best thing you could do for your daughter and most especially for yourself.

Answer 8

If you have custody of the child, I advise you to move to where you would be the happiest as you deserve some happiness too. If your child has loving grandparents and other family members, this would be good for you both. Father can fly in to see her when he can.

Answer 9

The only advice I can give you is to talk to your daughters father and see how he feels about the whole thing.

Answer 10

Wow you're particular in a no longer situation-free situation.. i did no longer examine everywhere which you do no longer decide to strengthen those young ones, all i'm listening to is which you choose help and it fairly is comprehensible and intensely a lot deserved. appears like your daughter has some important turning out to be as much as do although she is previous the age of which it is your accountability. Your important situation now must be for the well-being of those toddlers. in case you fairly do no longer ideas raising them then i'd take your daughter and the father to court and get custody and new child help. whilst they have lived with you for 6 months with out care from their mum and dad you could value them with abandonment. (it must be a twelve months) I heavily have self belief you have a case against your daughter although the father could be waiting to step in and take the youngsters. hire a sturdy criminal professional, ask for a court appointed criminal professional for the youngsters, and take this situation to court. i comprehend this isn't any longer situation-free to contemplate taking your guy or woman daughter to court yet you would be able to desire to think of with regard to the youngsters first. possibly sometime your daughter will strengthen up and make sure she desires to be an element of her new child's life and for his or her sake i'm hoping she does. yet she will't be your situation nicely suited now. She is making her own possibilities however the youngsters choose you to look out for them. whether you went to social centers, they provide priority to the grandparents earlier they're going to placed the youngsters in foster care. although they gained't financially help the grandparents. however the youngsters would qualify for AFDC (help for based toddlers). i'm unsure approximately that one even though it may be worth looking into (call SRS). in the journey that your unsure the thank you to touch those agencies call your community county well being branch; they are in a position to show you interior the nicely suited direction. additionally look interior the yellow pages or touch an area criminal professional and locate the quantity on your states criminal help centers (expenditures are based on your income and since the youngsters would desire to be represented and that they have no income you would be able to nicely be waiting to get somebody to shelter their rights) If no longer something i'd call social centers as a results of fact they could be waiting to direct you to somebody who can help with factors. sturdy success!