My mum isn't particularly wowed by my new boyfriend, ok he hasn't got a car, but why should she value who he is on what he owns or what he earns? She hasn't even tried speaking to him properly. Any suggestions on how I can get this big baby to grow up and get on with him?
2006-08-03 22:07:08 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hate to say it but mum's have a good instinct so he's probably not so suited for you but just tell her you have to make your own mistakes and to let you learn the hard way. she shouldn't be rude to him though, I'm sure she taught you to have manners so she should practise what she preached.
2006-08-03 22:12:43 · answer #1 · answered by Gypsie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a mom, I will try to answer this the best way I can. I don't think your mom is trying to put any value on your boyfriend. As you stated, he is your new boyfriend. I think your mom is just trying to be cautious. I have learned as a mother that if you say to much, then it could mean that you really like him and then your daughter feels bad if things don't go right and you break up. On the other hand, if you say nothing, you are letting your daughter decide for herself if this new boyfriend is really the one she will stay with. It's very hard on a mother to know exactly what is right. Don't forget, as you are growing up and learning, so is your mother on how to deal with different situations. Sometimes no matter what we mothers do, it's (excuse the wording)
damned if you do and damned if you don't. I hope this helps you to understand a little. If he is right, just give it time, your mom will catch on when she sees your relationship growing.
2006-08-04 01:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by Tweek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the first question, the reason she's interested in his assets (financial, that is) is because obviously she wants to ensure that you are provided for. After all, she's not thinking boyfriend, she's thinking potential son-in-law, and being married before, she has an insight into a future you have yet to enter.
As for the second, that's between your boyfriend and her to settle. Just let your boyfriend be himself because that's what you AND your mom are going to have to live with anyway and see what happens. Maybe subtly highlight his more positive traits. Have a heart to heart talk with your mom (if you can, I understand some moms are impossible tyrants). Remember that some parents find it difficult to let their children go (remember parents usually think marriage even if no such thought exists in your head) and take that into consideration.
Good luck
2006-08-03 22:17:46 · answer #3 · answered by Studier Alpha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know how you feel hun, but can see it from both sides. My little girl (ok, 19 next month) announced she was moving in with her boyfriend a few months ago, and I'm still a bit up in the air about it. You see, us mums find it a bit hard when our daughters grow up and start going out with boys. So even if you were going out with a rich man with a flashy car, your mum still wouldn't be happy. Give it time and she'll come round a bit!
2006-08-03 22:16:55 · answer #4 · answered by Sam O'Shanter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend is good in the kitchen, let him show off his skills to your mum. The three of you could get together for a quiet family dinner at home on his own turf, without outside distractions so that your mum can get to know him better by spending time together. She might decide she likes him in spite of what he owns.
2006-08-03 23:08:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is give it time! In a few weeks... or maybe alot longer, your mum will realise he is a part of your life now. She will have no choice but to talk to him. Remember though, this is a hard tim for youe mum aswell, she only wants whats best for you here.
2006-08-03 22:15:53 · answer #6 · answered by Rachael--x 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he shows her respect when he c her. Everyx when he picks u up bring her some choc or flowers or some trinket no need 2 be expensive. Tell her its just a token of appreciation for her. Am sure she will be pleased 2 receive presents from someone.
2006-08-03 22:16:50 · answer #7 · answered by lynnbtohs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mom I can somewhat understand how your mom may feel. I believe that she knows life MUCH BETTER than you. Why not trust her once maybe just for this? Every mom wants her child to enjoy life without any regrets later on. Trust me. Your mom sees something not so good in your friend, and she might be so right about it.
2006-08-03 22:11:29 · answer #8 · answered by Kanda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old is he....most young men have a car by the time they are 20..... i know that has no value...but if your old enough and don't have ride...it just looks like ...your not trying hard enough...or you haven't tried...you can buy a decent car for under a $1000. 00 these days...you can finance one... i guess she doesn't want you to have to take care of him...maybe your not but she needs to see that he can at least hold his own...
2006-08-03 22:10:35 · answer #9 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mom had my boy friend cause she didnt think he was good enough for me. he had and car but it was and pease of crap. but it what he could aford and i wasn't going to down him coause that.my mom would look right though him ween talking to wouldn't speak to him at all. but we been together 5 years now have and lil girl tha is 3 and married, buying and home, he got and new car. sometimes u have to give people and lil credit. now she love him to death lol what and change. also i live with him in his grandmaother's old home his mom was the care taker of cause she in and nurseing home. he payed rent and taxes and ins. on this house at the end the year. my mom hate the way i was living no heat no air. and the home was just and pease of **** no one had taking care of it. but now we have an house with heat and air and i love it. wouldnt give it up for nothing. he brother lived in the home before rent free and my hubby mother spladed him with window air condishers and radater heater. that really pissed me off his brother got busted for drugs in the house. and she had to kick him out ween we movied in it we were being watched cause of what he had done. the house was and reak nad had rouches and man i never though we would clean it up. my hubby with paying 400 month rent on this place spent 4000 that his grandma lift him fix up that dump. he didn't so much as get and thank you. i told plp that my son real mother was her they dont belive she has another one. this women is and real pease work.
my point is cant always jude and book by it cover.
just because you bf dosen't have and good job right dosen't mean he want get one and get and car.
tell you mom to get over it. if you love him she'll have to deal with it.
2006-08-03 22:36:06 · answer #10 · answered by mommy72403 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋