My common law partner crossed a serious boundary a few nights ago. He took our daughter while we were arguing and drove all night under the influence of alcohol without his glasses to another province. The police couldn't do anything about him taking her since we are in a common law relationship and she is our biological daughter we both have rights. They did say that if he was pulled over he would be charged with a D.U.I. if he blew over the limit. Fortunately he did not get into an accident and he did call me upon their arrival to his mothers house at 5:45 am. I am MAD. We were all supposed to go on this trip together but because of the argument he ditched me and the 2 boys and left 2 nights early in a huff. Now he is there with our daughter and even though I know she is safe and having fun with her family I can't help but feel pissed off at him for taking such an unneccessary risk with her life. What's the best way to deal with this when he returns home on the 7th?
2006-08-03 19:00:28 · 15 answers · asked by sweetmammaearth 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is this sort of behaviour a common occurrance??? If it is you really need to look at the childs safety. Does he drink and drive often?? or is it that he left early after a fight with out you and the boys. both behaviours are cause for concern. Your kids dont deserve and shouldn't be around this sort of behaviour. I think the best thing to do is sit him down and discuss your concerns with him in a calm manner to decide what the problems are and how you should go about solving them responsibily. His actions were very immature. Is this his normal response to a fight. He really should perhaps stay at a mates place and solve the fight the next day when he is more reasonable.. Lots for you to work out... Try to do it calmy and reasonably and away from the kids. good luck
2006-08-03 19:16:12 · answer #1 · answered by charger69golf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't forgive him. You shouldn't forgive him because you're responsible for your daughter and she needs you - he should be too but clearly he isn't. She could have been killed. He would have done that to her. This is very serious - don't tell yourself it isn't. You need to either make sure this can never happen again and move on together as a couple, with him understanding the full consequences of his actions, and only if this is COMPLETELY out of character for him, or you need to get a lawyer and move on. Be there for your daughter - she can't understand yet what her dad has done, and fine she's having a nice time with him there now, but he has done wrong - very wrong - and you know that.
2006-08-03 19:11:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grief, where do you live that the police refused to put an ABP out on him knowing that he was driving under the influence? Where I live the police would of been on his *** and hauled him off to jail.
Personally I would kick him out. Taking my child and driving drunk with her in the car like that. There'd be no way I'd give him a 2nd chance to ever do something like that again. On the 7th, he would have one hell of surprise waiting on him when he got home.
2006-08-03 19:21:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when u say he took your daughter but not your sons, i am going to assume the boys are not his, correct? i would not forgive him for this. what he did was leave not only you, but your boys out of something that was supposed to be for the family, and how do you think they are going to feel about that? second, he was drunk and put her in harms way by driving with her and that is unacceptable no matter how mad he was or how he looks at it. if he is that mad that he feels he needs to get out of the house, tell him he can leave by himself. If you stay with him, you are always going to wonder about what will happen when you fight and he wants to leave with your daughter. if you choose to stay, let him know that if he ever does that again, you will call the police on him for drunk driving and if he still chooses to leave, call the police when he is still in the driveway, before he leaves, so they can come out and catch him before he pulls another stunt like this. make it very clear to him that you will not tolorate it, because if you dont, he will do it again and you will never forgive yourself if, God forbid, something happens.
2006-08-03 19:34:54 · answer #4 · answered by kantriella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He endangered your child and left you and your son's out of something that was suppose to be a family trip.. Get out and get out now your # 1 priority in life is to protect your children and staying with anyone that would put them in harms way is not an option.. Good Luck
2006-08-03 19:14:20 · answer #5 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on you. Do you want to continue facing such problems in the future? If the answer is no, you should consider divorcing him.
2006-08-04 05:26:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds odd....also sounds like there's no respect left in the relationship.The 2 of you need to have a serious sit down.
2006-08-03 19:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by Direktor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your daughter and why did he take her? That sounds very strange to me as you say you have 2 boys, but he didn't take them. Really..........I would do some digging into this odd behavior...it has red flags all over it!!!
2006-08-03 19:08:03 · answer #8 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Forgiveness is a way of allowing people to do bad things to you and not doing anything about it, leaving the way open for it to happen again and again. He couldve killed your child.
Make him regret it BIG TIME.
2006-08-03 19:32:25 · answer #9 · answered by vaivagabundo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't`t Waite i would go and get my little girl,it wouldn't`t matter if i had to drive for a week.and when i got there everyone would know i was there.i just would not take that chance,not with my child fun r no fun.
2006-08-03 19:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by lovinonly#1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋