Am I dreaming?

Question

I'm reposting this to see if I get any different answers. Thanks.

"This is going to sound crazy, but it seems like I'm going through my life in a dream state. It doesn't matter if my life is going great or crappy, I just feel like it isn't real. I feel like I'm still in high school and this isn't real. Does this make any sense to anyone else? What could I do to make it feel real?

I've felt this way all my life. It isn't just a momentary thing. I have problems with depression and the like. When I was on happy pills, I felt nothing all the time. I do feel happyness and sadness now, but its dream like. I've actully tried to figure out a time when I may have hurt myself and I'm just in a coma or something. This is serious to me, please don't joke about it".

I've never told a shrink, didn't really know how to explain it. I told my bf a little while ago, he didn't know what to make of it. I'm happy most of the time, just feel... weird. Like I'm drunk all the time or like I said, dreaming or half asleep.

Ok, I need to clearify a wee bit. I do have a job, and I do have friends. I'm sucidal now, and I'm not going to hurt myself in any way. I have felt pain since I started feeling this way, so part of me knows I'm not asleep. I can't go see a shrink right now. We don't have insurance, or money right now becuase of school.

Holy crap!! I'm so sorry! I mistyped. I'm NOT sucidal now... I was at different times of my life, but I'm doing better now.
Thanks everyone for great answers. I'm leaving this up for a while yet for more or if people want to change what they said. Thanks.

Answer 1

Sounds like you have post traumatic stress and the state you're referring to in your description is common to pts: disassociation. You need to go to a therapist or psychologist.

Answer 2

You have a lot of good advise here, whether I help or not (I hope I do help)..... I can only tell you about me. There some days where time is gone from me and I can't really say if mattered or not, if it was real or not, or if happened or not. I can't explain this detachment; what is really odd is I can remember a lot of little fact about people that I have see thought out my period of doubt. What bothers me the most is that I cant tell if is suppose to be like a dream or not. I have always been a day dreamer in school and at work. I have always loved stories either books or especially movie because it took me away from my self and my surroundings. I not trying to be funny but from the first line of your question I thought "Matrix", and I not kidding when I say part of me here and part of me isn't. I feel different about my environment all the time. Most of the time I don't even notice that I'm going somewhere or that I'm all ready there. according to my friends I've always had a sharp memory and great observations that just seem to come to me even though my mind is somewhere else. I probability didn't help much but.....

I don't know how But I think you are a Gemini. right? Doesn't matter.

about the killing your self please don't one of my close friend did and I can't think of anyone doing it, it makes me think...I would morn your death with a heavy heart.

Answer 3

Since I'm reading and answering your question on my own, it's a pretty good bet that you are not dreaming (Although you may tell yourself that you dreamed that I replied; that's the vicious cycle of dream logic.)

This may seem silly, but it has validity; pinch yourself hard somewhere under your arm. If you feel an immediate pain response in the area you just pinched, then you are awake.

Now, as someone who also has had problems with depression, I can tell you that the disconnect from your life that you feel may well be a different symptom of depression, OR it may well indicate other issues, such as past trauma or unresolved conflicts. SEE A THERAPIST! Medication can do terrific things, but you sound as if actual therapy may be what you need. Don't back away from it. Left alone you will not get better.

If money or insurance are an issue, contact your state or local department of Mental Health; they can help you find treatment that is free or that is based on what you can afford to pay.

One other thing - have you had a physical with a full blood work recently? The symptoms you have described could be related to some form of endocrine disorder such as diabetes, hypoglycemia, or hypothyroidism. Get it checked; you never know

Good luck.

Answer 4

It's hard to know what to say. That I feel for you is true. That I understand having that feeling at times is also true. To have that feeling your whole life could mean any of a number of things.

I think one thing is it shows that you are a very sensitive and introspective person. I wouldn't expect happy pills to make you happy. Your depression sounds serious enough that numbness is about as much as you could hope from them.

I know you said you couldn't afford seeing a doctor, but there are some hospitals which will take patients who can't afford insurance--most cities have at least one. And I think you need to be tested. The cause could be from some trauma earlier in your life, or it could be neurological, but it there has to be a reason and if you can get at that reason, I think that would be the first step towards getting away from those feelings.

This may sound a little odd sort of thing to ask you, but I am wondering what sort of music you listen to, what kind of films and tv shows you like, what kind of books you read. What we allow in affects us more than we know.

I am a Christian, and I have faced depression a lot of my life,
and I find that my best help is in guarding my mind and heart in Christ Jesus. Especially, when I am afraid, I rememer a word from the Bible "When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I will trust, and I will not be afraid". And I also read Psalm 139.
I think that if you read that Psalm you might find some help, because it is about the relationship of a a man of God to God.
And it is just as applicable to we women.

That Psalm ends, "search me o God, and know my heart, try me, and know my anxious thoughts, and see if there be any hurtful way in me (any way of pain) and lead me in the everlasting way."

I'm not saying you'll find all you need in the Bible, but I think if you can get some medical help and also read things which are strengthening to your heart and mind that it might help you.

God bless, Maggie

Answer 5

Yes, you are dreaming. Now, the trick is for you to stop feeling anxious about it and realize that you are very fortunate to have this awareness as it is a gift. It IS all a dream/illusion and the sensation you are experiencing is letting you know that, even though many others will project craziness upon you. Trust your direct experience.
Did you ever see the movie The Matrix?
Just the first one-the others got too goofy. It kind of gives you a sense of how this world, that people believe is their life, is just a facade. You are lucky to know this.

Answer 6

Not that I know the first thing about these sort of things, but if I may offer a suggestion, try to connect with someone that you know who is very outgoing, you know the kind, they are the ones who see the glass as half full, constantly perky etc... If you can spend some time with a person like this, it just may help you "reconnect" with your conscience self, and from there, the world is your oyster. Good Luck, and if all else fails, go see a professional, it may cost a bit, but, it would be money well spent, if it helps you. If you take my advice and it works, please let me know, it would make my day if someone that I gave advice to benefited from my admittedly armchair psychological ramblings.

Answer 7

It might be that you need to change your view on the world. I don't know how, but it sounds like an issue of your perspective on how you view the world. Something may have happened to you that made you so distrust everything and become do disallusioned and disattached to the world that everything just ceases to be real. Some one event that seemed so unreal, so unlikley, that the world became this to you. I don't know that for sure, but I do know that say after a car accident, there is a period of disattachment to the world and a mild sense of displacement to all that around you. Do some soul searching, if you haven't already. That may help.

Answer 8

EVEN IF you can't tell whether you're dreaming or not, I find it hard to believe that NOTHING matters based on that state of being.

If a Rabid Antelope started chasing me and I had to jump out a 3-story window to escape, it doesn't matter whether I'm dreaming or awake-- I will act according to the parameters given in the scenario.

If your life is a dream, you still desire outcomes and will accordingly. So much so that it makes no difference whether reality is just the same level of delusion as a dreaming state.

Answer 9

You're asking abunch of inexperienced opinionated people who just want an extra two points how to change your life. Don't. I know you don't have insurance but there are other people out there who can help you a whole lot better than anyone here can. You may have an adverse reaction to religion, but you can find some really cool pastors out there that are great listeners. And you don't have to be religious to talk to them. And they often have some great advice. And they're free.

Answer 10

you are, what many people say, in a world of your own, having a world of your own...

this state often springs up from stress, depressions, frustrations, disappointments, loneliness emptiness, boredom, feeling helpless, etc...

the best way to get out of it is leisure and pleasure. find things that can divert your attention and block these negative vibes, shrug them away... nah you dont need a shrink. it's a state where many people undergo thru their life... i know, i did experience it... but what i did was throw my focus on things positive. went for a month's rest, out of town, in a beach.... listened to the breeze of the air and analyze situations. see, the most inspiring medicine to a drought is your inner self...

people around you interpret it as weird, coz they cant understand what you're in. try to think of it this way... picture an african country native, search the internet for it, look at his perseverance, his will to survive... if this boy struggles thru his life yet sees it as nothing more than a challenge, and still, held his head up high.... look at the israel conflict, people running for cover, to survive.... and asking themselves, when will all this end?

you're lucky. you have a job, a bf to cling on to.... what about the listless unemployed people in your community? what about the orphaned people in your vicinity? to whom would they cry their problems over, their frustrations? look at ex-cons, how can they make society accept them back? they've paid their dues and wants to have a new life, why won't anyone give them a chance?

point is, reality that life sucks is half true... we can never satisfy ourselves, we can never achieve what we really want... we always go with the flow... that's life....

so live your life a day at a time. step by step... cling on the most important tool in you which are faith, hope and compassion....

if it doesn't work im me, i'l guide you... dont worry, i've done these things before and i know what you're going thru right now....

Answer 11

I have had the same impression at times. Especially when I was working third shift with a gf who had had a baby.

But I've always wondered if this is actually a dream and if one day I'm going to wake up. I've also had the disturbing thought of, "is this someone else's dream, in which case I don't really exist?"