can someone tell me something funny, good, not good, whatever, im bored.?

Answer 1

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.

He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.

When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Answer 2

Old lady sitting in a bar, sees her boyfriend walk in wearing shorts and asks "Henry, are those your legs, or are you
riding a chicken?"

Fat lady walks in a convenience store, recognizes a young girl working behind the counter that saw her looking great a couple of years ago and says "Allison, I'm not really fat, I am just pooching my stomach out to hold up my pants."

Answer 3

make a dream list if you are bored and then write down how you are going to do them and then set dates keep a notebook handy to jot down little things you would like to do and for the bigger ones break them in to small goals and you will never be bored again because if you are not achieving a goal than you are wasting your precious time

Answer 4

Boredom is a very evil thing! Well, I just drank a cup of water and I'll be going to bed soon.

Good night!

Answer 5

This evening I was riding in town and seen this car pull out of a gas station and I seen this guys arm come out of the widow of the car and he was waiving his arm and it was on fire a cop came along and pulled him over and give him a ticket for an illegal use of a fire-arm.

Answer 6

LUCK
He worked by day
And toiled by night.
He gave up play
and some delight.
Dry books he read,
New things to learn.
And forged ahead,
Success to earn.
He plodded on with
Faith and pluck;
And when he won,
Men called it luck.

Answer 7

Why did the chicken cross the road?to gett to the other side

Answer 8

heres something u could do a research on although its useless

Answer 9

yo mama's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map she sees people waving!!!

Answer 10

GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC.
SORRY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NOW