Even though he wanted me to get pregnant. He has a major drug problem. He barely wants to be around me, hes always with his friends smoking coke and making excuses. I've had a really stressful 7 months filled with lots of crying and just having a really stressful rough time. Every time he is sober we get along great but as soon as he starts smoking again everything goes to sh*t. I just don't know what to do, I really think I should leave him, but at the same time I feel torn because I'm having his baby and we used to be so happy before I was pregnant. I feel like I will always resent him for treating me this way while I am pregnant. I just need him so much right now and hes never there. All this has left me feeling hopeless and depressed. I can't wait for my baby to be born so I'm not alone all the time. What do you think? Should I leave him?
2006-08-03 18:20:08 · 71 answers · asked by kristina g 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First of all, let me say I live with my parents, they have no idea whats going on because he hides his problem well. Let me also say that no I am not on drugs and also he never used to have a drug problem before I got pregnant. I am not stupid I am just very confused..anyone who has anything rude or cruel to say I woud appreciate it if you would just keep your opnion to yourself.
2006-08-03 18:39:06 · update #1
Basically i want to know if you think I should leave him now or wait and see how he acts after I give birth?
2006-08-03 19:21:04 · update #2
Leave him asap. Do you honestly want your kid around a father like that?
2006-08-03 18:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by OneDay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to be rude,but for one I find it hard to believe that he started using drugs after you got pregnant. Two if he just started smoking coke then it is going to be a long ride if he really enjoys it. If he is just doing this because his friends do then it may be easier. But here are some of my suggestions STOP worring about the man. You should be more worried about the baby and yourself. Do NOT let the things he does bother you now. After the baby is born and you can get a chance ask him to seek help. I was a coke smoker and I have been clean for 10 years now. I went to my family on my own after 6 months of using and told them I needed help. But the whole thing is you can not make him quit he has to want to quit. If he does not want to quit yes you should find another. First take care of your new child. But most of all DO NOT let what he does bother you right now. You could throw yourself into premature labor. I have 7 children and three grandchildren. I had my 6th child premature and an emergancy C section is not what I ever wanted. All my children but her was born natural.
2006-08-03 18:52:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave him and try to get proof of his drug abuse to protect your baby's futuer. Just because he seems normal when he is not on the drug doesn't mean he always will be normal not on the drug. Those drugs cause serious brain damage in the long run. The drugs shrink some parts of the brain as well as swell parts of the brain even after he comes down off his high his brain damage will stay. Leave him and protect the baby from him. Your word against his wont matter in court when he has to pay child support and the judge gives him visitation rights. What would you do if he got high around your baby and something happened to the baby? His addiction means more to him then you or the baby. Leave him now .
2006-08-03 18:34:48 · answer #3 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, having a child is a very big responsibility. U can not think about urself or ur boyfriend anymore, u MUST think about ur child first. How can a guy take care of a child when he couldnt take care of himself? ur soon to be a mom, u have to be an example for ur baby. Do u really want ur child to grow up in the kind of surrounding ur boyfriend will provide (I mean drugs and all)?
U know, when u've delivered the baby u will realize that u love that baby soooo much more than anything in the world and u want to give the best for the baby. Why dont u start now by leaving ur boyfriend, get some help from ur parents or others.
2006-08-03 18:33:02 · answer #4 · answered by Fed_up_by_u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I want to say this right now LEAVE HIM. My ex who is the father of my two babies was the same way except he smokes weed like 24/7. And when he's sober hes a complete ***. He IS not resposible in anyway with his first daughter. And let me tell you - My dad was a druggie so I have complete experience. DUMP THIS LOSER!!!!!! I too was upset when I found out I was pregnant with my ex's baby (a week after he broke up with me). He said he'd go to the doctors appointments but once I got on his case about him putting his gf (he got back with his first baby momma within 3-4 days of breaking up with me) before the baby I haven't heard from him since. I don't know if any of this is making any sense, but please don't put yourself through this misery and depression. Do it by yourself and with the help of your family. Thats what I'm doin *I'm almost 6 months* You don't need him and the stress he will bring after the baby is born. If he is causing all this pain and stress to you now, sweetie you need to get rid of him. Get his a** for child support!! Get FULL CUSTODY of your baby!!!! And I mean get his parental rights terminated. If that baby is around him and gets into those drugs the baby will end up mentally handicapped. Think of your baby, and think of yourself. He obviously isn't resposible enough and that isn't going to change because you are having a baby. You need to put your baby into a safe envirionment.
2006-08-10 05:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave honey as fast as u can if this man is on drugs which means he could care less about himself let alone u and a child.think about ur baby and not the few times he is good to u i am sure the bad times out weigh the good times.u will meet someone better .also honey the drugs that he is doing can harm u and ur child and when u deliver they will look at u like what are u doing. and Dr's say that if the father does drugs it will not affect the unborn child that is a lie my mother gave birth 2 4 children from a man that did drugs and they either have learning disabilities or mental defects so think long and hard about the life u want for ur self and if u cant do that think long and hard bout ur child's life,someone has to . leave and just deal with him on an x husband level .
2006-08-03 18:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by marykay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what's best for you & your baby...If he's acting like this now, what makes you think that things will change when the baby comes?? I had a very hard 9 months when I was pregnant w/ my daughter b/c her father resented the fact that I was pregnant w/ his baby so I cried like the whole time I was pregnant...& it turned out being really bad for my daughter..after she was born, she would be asleep & would shudder the way you do when you've cried a lot...well she did it cuz I cried soo much while pregnant..she even had some breathing problems for a while cuz of it...& he wasn't there for me either when I went into labor & had her either...honestly it didn't matter cuz it was me doing all the work anyway & i don't know/think he would be of any help anyway...but after she was born & when he saw her for the first time..tears filled his eyes & he made a complete turn-around...we now live together & plan on marrying soon...you never know..maybe once ur guy sees his baby he'll change too for the better & be there for you & your baby...best of luck to y'all
2006-08-03 18:36:13 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl I know what your going through I been around people who have drugs problems and with drugs come difficult time. I know it hard hearing this but i think you should leave him. Why do you want you baby to be born into a relationship like this. Maybe He 'll change once he see that he lost you. Besides you have your parents support you 'll never be by your self. If he really want to change get him into a drug programs because I know what an addiction could do to you. first comes hurting the ones you love . aggression, anger, depression and guilt . Girl just think about your baby He'll come around. you don't want someone keeping you down all the time you need someone to make you happy and love you. GOOD LUCK!
2006-08-11 16:13:58 · answer #8 · answered by manuel5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the dude. You need to think about you and your baby. Stress is very bad for you and your baby. I really think you will be happy without him. You say you need him? Why? He hasn't done anything for you but give you grief. At least you live with your parents. Right now you should be feeling happy that you are having a baby. There is nothing wrong being a single mom. I have been a single mom for the longest time and I did just find raising my son. If you stay with this guy all he will do is give you pain and heartaches! I hope you decide to stay alone at least during this time to keep your baby safe! Good luck!
2006-08-03 19:26:17 · answer #9 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a heart braking situation.
Having read your story, i am not impressed with your b/f
May be he enjoyed you before becoming big and pregnant and now is the time when he should have shown his manhood, instead, he goes out and drink or do drugs
I really don't think you want your child to be around a dad of this quality.
As bad as I feel making this statement, I really think your are better off without him all together.
If in your difficult time he is not around, then he may be back just for the good time.
Listen my dear, I would if I were you, call him and have a very serious talk with him
Tell him unless he straighten out completely, you don't need him and he is to lease and not come back.
If he truly loves you, this may wake him up and bring him to his senses and if he leaves, you're better off.
Perhaps after delivering your baby, start a good life with your child in it and may be one day the Good Lord would send your way some good man who would love you and your baby,
Best wishes darling,
Macho
2006-08-03 18:36:29 · answer #10 · answered by Macho 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when he is sober you should talk to him abotuhow hard of a time you've been having with out him and THAT YOUR 7 MONTHS PREGNANT! ugh men make me sick sometimes =( Im sorry for you, anyways! talk to him while he's sober and convince him to go into rehab canuse in a couple months he's going to have the responsibility of being a father, he needs to get his act together and be more mature about things. tell him instead of wasting money on drugs he's going to have to spend the money in more effective ways towards the baby. i would try to stay with him just cause i grew up without a dad, my parents divorced when i was 4, which was 15 years ago and it still effects me to this day. maybe you should look into going to family/ couples conseling, he seems to be on a destructive path. drugs around your newborn wouldnt be good either. If he doesnt change then leave him, you dont deserve to be miserable like this, you can find someone out there who is drug free and can take care of and support you and your new born. set up play dates with eachother every other week though so there can be a bond established between him and the new born. I hope things will work out for you and things will change! just be strong! =)
2006-08-03 18:33:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋