My parents have been divorced for 15 years, and I still dont know exactly why?

Question

All I really know is that they got in a fight, and my dad packed up and left. Theres never really a good time to ask my mom, and when I do, she dosent wanna talk about it, or tells me what I already know! I cant ask my dad, cuz hes a guy, and guys are dumb! He's never even told my 7 yr. old half-brother that he was previously married!

I feel akward that I dont know...what should I do

DD- No, your wrong, it IS my right to know why their divorced! I am their only child, a very important part in both their relationships, we are/were and family, and I am OWED an explination!

when your parents split, you'll understand!

and, as far as I know, theres no reason why their being so secretive about it...my dads remarried and my mom dates.

Im 19 years old....i think its time they told me

Answer 1

why are you on here ask them not us!

Answer 2

Unfortunately , ur going to have to just come to terms that they didnt get along and they felt it was best to part ways, im guessing ur still a minor, or they feel your just still to young, so it could be they are waiting till your older and are more worldly to tell you the details, because they fear maybe it would make u look at one or the other differently if u did know.. and sometimes even though theyve been divorced for along time, divorce is very hard on people and it is a very emotional topic, and you should respect that they dont feel comfortable yet in talking about it.. stop dwelling in the past, knowing isnt going to make it any better , or any clearer, be greatful that u have 2 parents that love u , that are still there for you.. and at 7 ur little brother doesnt really need to know about your dad being married before he probably wouldnt fully understand it.. but the older he gets he'll figure it out.. so its only a matter of time.. in time, ur mom will open up to u and tell u anything u need to know, when she's ready and when she feels your ready , untill then enjoy life.. be greatful for having so many people that love you.. and dont worry it gets better.. and the confusion will eventually go away.. I know, my parents have been divorced since i was 4, and i felt what u are feeling, so much so that at times it was destructive to my own personal life.. dont do that to urself.. just let it go.. all secrets come out on their own, in their own time.. stop focusing on the past, and focus on your present and your future, you'll be so much happier if u do, i promise..

Answer 3

Excuse me, if your parents wanted you to know, they'd have told you long ago. Obviously it was a bitter argument that they decided to keep you out of...whether you are their only child or not, your parents don't owe you anything. You are their child, not their counselor or anything else for that matter. What went on between them stays between them until they feel it necessary to speak of and you have no right to call either parent dumb because of the way YOU feel about anything. How old did you say you were again? You sound very immature over this matter. If they didn't drag you back and forth over it and kept it to themselves thats their choice not yours. A seven and a half yr old boy or girl doesn't need to know the details of their father/ mothers past. Like all of the other answers, it's really none of your business and as for asking someone else in the family? It's really not their place either! You shouldn't feel awkward, Just love them both and be happy that you have them both in your life and be thankful that they didn't rip you away from either spouse. You should be thinking about your future and your life not theirs. They are two adults and if they wish to keep it between them, you surely do not need to rub salt into their wound. Get on with life and leave it be.

Answer 4

well first of all,not all guys are dumb.You say they are because this is the way the world is leading you and it is the same for alot of us guys who think that women are dumb.I wish you all would let it go and realize that we are all the same in gods eyes.now on to your question.This is probably something that is better off being left alone.It more than likely saddens your mother to even think about it and that is why she is probably not giving you all the details.I beleive if she wanted you to know,then she would tell you.If your mother does not tell you then you need to leave her alone about it and not remind her of the hard and painful times that she may have went through.Just let her know that you are willing to listen if she ever does need to or want to talk about it.Now you need to talk to your father about it and let him know the same.He has probably not told your half brother that he was previously married because this is not something that you bring up to a 7 yr old child.I do not know if it will help but if you are really desperate to know, you can go to the county clerks office where they got the divorce and get a copy of the divorce papers.This is public information and anyone can get this info.Most divorce papers will list a reason for asking for the divorce and it will give all the info from the divorce.

Answer 5

Let the past in the past. The important thing is that You are doing well with your mother and stepbrother. When they are ready to talk about it they will. Until then just let it go. Concentrate on the now and future. Does your father support you well and are things in place for your college training>> Love them both because everyone makes mistakes and as long as they take care of you do not try and pick a favorite. Life is full of unanswered questions that may be better left that way.

Answer 6

Chances are that it's something really personal that they just don't want most people to know. If you knew, you might not think so highly of your mom and dad. Kids forget that their parents are people, too, and make mistakes. He might have cheated on her, lied to her, or she might have cheated or lied to him. It could have been anything, or it could have been the compilation of a lot of fights that they were kind enough to leave you out of.
All that matters is that they both love you. It doesn't really matter why they got divorced. If other people ask about it, just tell them that they didn't get along all that well, or tell them that it's none of their business!

Answer 7

I wish we had answers for you. I left and divorced my x husband 10 years ago. My kids, especially my oldest flipped out. I told them what I could. Some things are way too personal.. I realize you want to know. You really should just ask your dad, at least try.

Please don't let your parents issues destroy your life. You are not the sum of your parents mistake. You are you. And you just have one shot at this lite..don't let you obcession with this spoil your life. I know you are intense about this. Sometimes in life when we let go we eventually understand things. It could be that your parents feel that you are too violtile emotionally to tell you.
Have you had family counseling?

Hang in there. and find some inner peace. You can't make your lfie all about your parents decision.

Answer 8

They may not know themselves. Sometimes there are so many things wrong with the relationship that you can't pin down any one reason. Or maybe the reason is very personal. Whatever the problem was, it was obviously bigger than their desire to stay together. If they have both gone on to happier lives, you should count your lucky stars. At least you're still talking to both of them, it seems. It was their relationship - a private thing.

Answer 9

Give your dad a chance, come right out and ask him. If you don't get a straight answer, ask a grandparent or Aunt or Uncle. Between all the different stories, you may be able to piece together some version of the truth.

Answer 10

Well I think it's their relationship and none of your business. Would you really want to know if perhaps one of your parents had an affair? I don't think so. It's too damaging even to you. They are ultimately being good divorced parents by not getting you involved.
I wish my parents did the same. Instead I had to grow up with a lot of hurt, pain, and knowing of too many adult problems I wish I never knew about.

Answer 11

Actually it's none of your business the details of why your parents got divorced. NONE. If they chose to give you information, it may only be one person's viewpoint. The fact is that they did, and that means they can't be together, and that is that. I'm sure there is a good reason, in their minds, and you will just have to accept the fact that there are some things you don't need to know.