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18 answers

Yet, you're looking for info on how NOT to get pregnant using a calendar? Hmm. Maybe you should avoid the casual sex and seek some counseling.

2006-08-03 17:27:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had the perfect advice for you. I do not. The only thing I can offer is my experience with the loss of my marriage. They say the process is similar. I don't know if I believe that completely; however, I know the loss is there.

When I went through my divorce, I was so lost and wanted so badly to snap out of it. The harder I tried to fake it, the quicker the tears would come. Everyone that cares for the person wants to cheer them up and make them feel happy. It is impossible, yet nice to know they are there. Just make sure to let them know if you need to be alone.

I was on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I was grieving, the next I was so mad I could have broken something, then I was devastatingly sad, then I was hopeless and felt I had nothing in life. It was a vicious cycle of emotional turmoil; however, you have to go through it to heal. Your dealing may be different than mine, but, whatever you feel or however you want to behave, I say you do it. You have to heal to grow strong again. It takes a long time so don't punish yourself for not being "BETTER" or "NORMAL". You suffered the greatest loss.

Therapy can be helpful if you get the right person (there is not guarantee) There a lot of good books out there. I read a bunch of self help books that gave me temporary relief to know my feelings were normal and I actually utilized some of the strategies the books offered.

The main quote I will never forget was, "He has the right not to love you, he has the right to leave you, you have the right to accept his rights." That really doesn't help your situation; however, if you were to change the context, you may interpret that as God has the right to call upon his children to come home, your Husband had the right to accept the invitation to heaven and you have the right to accept that husband had the right to choose to go where there is no pain and there is eternal peace. I feel strange saying that because, I was brought up Catholic until my Grandmother passed away when I was in 6th grade, then my parents stopped taking my sister's and I to church. I believe in God but am not a church goer. I hope you don't feel like I pushed any beliefs on you. I just know in my heart that heaven is real and it is home.

I wish I could help you. I am so helpless for you. Please let yourself grieve and go through the motions. Get a punching bag or kick the heck out of a soccer ball. You have a million emotions stirring inside you (I would imagine), don't let them eat at you. When you are ready, join the real world at your pace.

Good luck and take care.

Kitt.

2006-08-03 19:00:15 · answer #2 · answered by Kitt 2 · 0 0

I don't think you need good advice, I think you need a shoulder to cry on. I'm sorry to hear about your husband. Take some time to mourn, but then consider how he'd want you to live life. I've seen a lot of people get through this by accomplishing all the dreams and goals they set with their spouse. And watch for little signs of him around. If you have him in your heart, he'll always be there.

2006-08-03 17:32:12 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0 0

Really sorry to hear that... it is bound to take a long time to get over that kind of grief -- I hope you have friends and family around you to support you

Talking about it helps and I would say that you should not 'make' yourself get over this but let it run its course... a cliche but very true: "time heals"

In the meantime, be nice to yourself and don't expect too much of yourself too soon - but don't hide away or anything - try seeing some close friends for a quiet evening on a regular basis until you feel able to do more

Counseling might help, also ------ good luck

2006-08-03 17:34:30 · answer #4 · answered by Annalyse 3 · 0 0

May allah bless your husband soul with peace and harmony

First of all my sympathy and prayer are with you.

It is a loss which no one can recover. But you should understand that god is not going to sent your husband back again.

You should start thinking about the other family member, his father, mother, brother& sister(if any). How are they going through?

Support them and think how you can make them feel good and if you have any child think about him. Think what your husband may be feeling seeing you in such a situation. Live thinking that how your husband at this stage wants you to live like(remember he may be watching you)

If you are not too old why dont you try to join for a work. and please start praying and ask God for support, I am sure you will feel better

Best of luck

We are with you

2006-08-03 17:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Vaseem 2 · 0 0

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss.
No matter what, it is a bad time, but try to stay positive.. it is hard right now, but the pain will start to go away with time.
No death is easy to cope with, and the best advice I can say is be with loved one's at this time, they can help support you during this time of loss, and they'll have you also to help comfort them.

2006-08-03 17:38:17 · answer #6 · answered by xx_ladyxluck_xx 2 · 0 0

you have my sympathy no one that hasnt experienced the loss knows how it hurts all i can say is it will take time to heal n no can say how long but i do advice you to go and get help just somewhere you can talk to others with similar losses and pray like never before hes the healer GOD BLESS and cry if u need to also being with family and friends might help just know that your husband will be watching over you remember ALL THE GOOD TIMES.

2006-08-03 17:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by ladyrena12 3 · 0 0

Oh I am so sorry to hear,
a support group, one on one counseling... Lots of family and friends... WHAT EVER YOU DO, do not go out and drink and party to make the pain go away, it inly makes it worse (belive me i did it last night for being upset with a family situation) just stay with friends and try not to be alone... it can help im sure... Try treating your elf to something so that you can keep your mind straight and try to think about good things ahead...

I hope all goes well for you...
God Bless,
Amanda

2006-08-03 17:28:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I'm a widow also , It isnt easyto deal with the loss of someone you have cared so much for and for how long were you to gether. alot of people would tell me move on you are young, and lots of stuff bu t they wernt in my shoes. People always said call me but not long after the funeral people just seem to disappear,, I found one of my best therapies was not to forget him, But to look at his pictures read his letters and greive , Greif has 5 stages (1.-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.( 2.Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving. (3.Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back. (-4.Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal. (5.Acceptance.
And dont put a time limit on these some time you will feel like you are experiencing 3 of these at one time and u may feel like you 'll never get to acceptance but it does come dont rush yourself through any of these emotions they are all healthy ,
I also kept a Journal and I put thoughts I was having and I wrote to David these feelings like they were letters to him and it was the most significant thing to help me through ,, after 2 years of writng in the journal hundreds of pages I decided I could finnally write him a good bye letter and release him back into the peace in which he had left me,,, My husbands death was very hard cause it was unexpected through an auto accident.

2006-08-03 17:38:20 · answer #9 · answered by Linda R 1 · 0 0

It does not propose he does not love you, it ability he's lazy and immature. i could think of two times approximately having young ones with him till you go with for to hold the finished weight of looking after residing house, toddler, and guy-baby. It sucks to have a companion you are able to no longer place self assurance in. adult men tend to no longer be element orientated, so as that they forget approximately small stuff that may no longer instantaneous to them-and that's forgivable. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that, he's a grown guy and could be pulling his weight and not using a passive-aggressive tantrum whilst reminded. He ought to even have satisfaction in his residing house and assets. you mustn't even ought to remind him to place food in the refrigerator - that's common experience. it style of feels like with him you have %. and choose your battles which you in all likelihood already do. a guy will in basic terms mature with time. One time my mom despatched my dad to the shop for milk mutually as we've been cooking. He comes lower back, some words have been exchanged and that i hear the motor vehicle go away lower back. She is obtainable in the kitchen protecting a loaf of bread up and yells "right this is my goddamn gallon of milk!!" one ingredient and he screwed it up!

2016-10-01 11:10:04 · answer #10 · answered by ja 4 · 0 0

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