My husband and I have been married 4 years. We are VERY happy...very much in love.
We are not officially "swingers", but I am intimate with another man about 2 times a month - always with my husbands knowledge. I dont "love" this other guy - its just a physical lusty relationship that excites me as well as my husband.
OK...This just happened today. This other guy is single - and asked if I would go on vacation with him ALONE ( to St Lucia) for 5 days. This is something my husband and I have never thought about or talked about....until now.
My husband says he would be fine with it - but that just seems to cross a line with me.
Should i just enjoy this nice "surprise" vacation, or should I say "no" since my husband would not be there.
My other guy laughs about how we would spend most the vacation in bed - and I'll admit - a wild week like that WOULD be exciting....
Should I stay, or should i go??
Oh.....please dont bash our lifestyle...we know its not "right" to all.
Thanks.
2006-08-03 16:54:57 · 23 answers · asked by Paul and Dawn P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We're also in an open relationship and we've come across this a few times before. Our open adventures are usually with other couples that we know, but we have had open relationships with singles before.
Our advice for this will depend on the circumstances when you meet your other man for fun? If you go to his house, get naked, have sex, then leave, our recommendation would be to avoid the vacation. Your interactions with him are just physical and, although he has hinted otherwise, there will be long periods of time where you will have to interact with him in a non-physical way.
But, if you meet your other man out in public for dinner, drinks or other social events, then go home and have sex, and maybe spend the night afterwards, then we would say that the vacation sounds like fun. You (and your husband) are comfortable with this person in settings outside the bedroom and you are aware of his behavior and expectations in public.
That's our advice. If you want to talk about it or want more advice, please feel free to contact us.
2006-08-07 07:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never bash someone else's lifestyle... but I say that if you go on this vacation it will definately be a changing road in your marriage. I say like it with the other guy twice a month.. but love your husband always and what the hell take him on this Wild Week of lust...
2006-08-03 17:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by intellect100 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A free vacation heck yeah but do you want to take a vacation without your husband? Since it is not a place you and your husband have been would you want to share that with someone else?
Don't know how I feel about the lifestyle but five days with beaches and sun while my husband was at home I would feel guilty about hat.
2006-08-03 17:02:12 · answer #3 · answered by Beth F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your husband have been making it work like this, I would try to keep things the way they are. A vacation with the other guy seems like it would be pushing it regardless of what your husband says. Maybe take a little vacation with your husband instead?
2006-08-03 17:00:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know much about the life of a swinger. But if your husband says it's ok then I guess it is ok. I'm trying to think why he would say that.... maybe he wants you to return the favor when he wants to take a women out for a vacation for 5 days of sex??... without you.
2006-08-03 17:00:09 · answer #5 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
St. Lucia is an excellent place for a getaway. I say go.
But be prepared for something down the road from your husband, who might be inclined at some point to hold this over your head.
And, when you get to St. Lucia, say hi to Norman-mon at Doolittles. Ask him to make you a Rum Punch.
:) they're good.
2006-08-03 17:01:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your feel it crosses a line the dont go. How would you feel if a woman asked your husband on vacation w/out u?
2006-08-03 17:01:07 · answer #7 · answered by jagbeeton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you ask our advice or permission.......what really is the difference? Your husband already shares you physically with this other man in the most intimate way possible...it is rather silly to ask whether you should go on a stupid vacation with him!!!
2006-08-03 17:00:37 · answer #8 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband might be fine with it now, but what happens after you return and he can't get over it? Are you willing to take the chance of losing him? You are playing dangerous games. To each his own, but why did you marry? You aren't honoring your marriage vows, that is a sin.
2006-08-03 16:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you couldn't find a way to bring yer man.. ie a foursome... I would not go cuz he would prolly feel bad.. even if he wouldn't admit it. Plus yer man on the side is prolly getting "feelings" (aw yuck) for you. Oh... I luv yer lifestyle... lol.... just wish I could find and marry someone like you!!!
2006-08-03 17:14:26 · answer #10 · answered by mrbubbachowpuss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋