I'm 20 and i'm pregnant but have no idea what to do....?

Question

i'm 7 weeks pregnant and my bf is asking me to marry him.. his parents have no objection.
i've talked to my mum about it and she said that i'm too young for marriage. she is asking me to go seek a doctor and asked if abortion do any harm to my body or not...
my bf is asking me to keep the child as he want it so much. i have no idea should i keep it or should i just go for an abortion?

Answer 1

If you don't want the baby, please consider giving it up for adoption. There are so many people out there dying to have children and cannot have one of their own.

People used to marry a lot younger than they do now. If you are prepared for the responsibility of marriage, go for it. I know it's awful hard to make these kinds of decisions in such a stressful time.

Think about the future. Are you willing to live with the results of your decision 20 years from now? If you are, do it. If not, reconsider your options.

Best of luck and I really hope it will work out for you.

Cheers.

Answer 2

Sweetheart, I was in the same situation. I was pregnant at 17. I wanted an abortion, but I didn't get one. I got married, and had my daughter. I was so confused, and it was hard. really hard. I didn't fully understand motherhood, or marriage. Things get less confusing, and a little easier. I love my daughter more than anything. She is the most precious thing to me. Watching her grow up, I can't imagine going and ever getting an abortion. Even if you can't take care of the child, there is a want to be parent who can't have a child who wants one. I urge you not to get one, it's not just a mass of tissue, it's a life, a person, a me or a you. But three of my sisters have had one, you have to make the best decision for yourself and your situation.

As far as marriage is concerned, I don't know what kind of man this is. I know I got married, and well, long story. We were together a year before I got pregnant. I thought we were meant to be. (married four years, separated 4 times, now separated a month and a half, never going back...) I dealt with drug abuse, alcohol abuse, lies, deciet, pain, depression, physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. There was a lot of love, but I just couldn't take it any more. I had to get out. Just because you are pregnant by him dosn't mean he is the man for you. He is the child's father, and can be a part of his/her life forever if he sticks around. And just because (if you don't get maried) you have a child dosn't mean that new men need to always be a part of his/her life. That can be damaging. You can have a social life,and be a mother too.

I personally think that abortion is a bad decision. Being a parent is the most noble thing you can do in this life. In a world when getting rid of the responsibility is the easiest way out, it takes a truly strong woman to keep a child in your situation, I was there... It may seem easier, but it takes courage to keep a child. even if you can't raise it, offer it for adoption to someone who can. Don't kill a litle girl, little boy. Even as it forms, it's character is shaping, it takes on characteristics from you and the father. It deserves a chance. But I will respect you for any decision you make. Keep me updated, email me.

I have one last thing to say. if you saw the aborted fetuses that go in the garbage you wouldn't do it. Look it up on the net, from your own opiniopn.

Answer 3

Hello,

I have a baby that is now 6 weeks old. When I found out that my girlfriend was pregnant I was so scared and a rush of emotions from being excited to scared to death. We talked about an abortion but I knew deep down I could not do it. Every year for the rest of your life you will think my child would be 1 years old...then two years old etc....

Im so blessed and happy that we kept our son Austin. He is the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. When you see your child smile and hold him, there is no feeling in the world knowing that he/she is your child.

I was scared financially, but you just have a baby shower and you will get a lot of baby supplys.

In closing only you can make this choice to keep your baby. Im just wanted to share with you that I know how confusing this time can be but Im glad we kept our son.

Answer 4

Tell your mom that you're a big girl who got yourself into this and will get yourself out! It is not her chose it is yours and if your BF is wanting to marry you and take care of this child I say GO FOR IT!!! What ever you do, make sure you and him both come to an agreement between keeping the baby or aborting it because it's not just your child, it's his as well. Good Luck

Answer 5

Do you think you could live with yourself knowing that you killed a baby? My Aunt had an abortion when she was young and even in her 40's it still bothered her, she became depressed and had to be put on anti-depressants until last year she died! She talked frequently about her baby she had killed and knew how old the child would have been and everything, so she carried that for over 25 years, are you prepared to do that, plus the father has a right to say what you do with his child, if after you have it and you don't want it sign it over to the father! Simple as that!

Answer 6

You're a legal adult; you decide. Abortions, no matter how much you may find it necessary, are very emotionally traumatic (been there, done that, same age).

Ask yourself what will happen if you keep the baby, marry the bf, or if you abort the baby, don't marry the bf. You have a hard decision to make.

Answer 7

If you intended to marry the boyfriend anyways, then consider it now, have the baby, and things will work out. If not, then don't marry him just because of the baby. Please consider letting him have custody of the baby if you don't want to have one to raise at this point. Abortion isn't fair to the baby or to him, who wants to keep it and care for it. Go to a Crisis Pregnancy Center or Pregnancy Resource Center and they can help you make your decisions, give you medical information, and listen to you. This is too big of a decision to make only based on your mom's advice. As far as age for marriage, I married at 20, had a baby at 21, and just turned 30 this month. Marriage is hard, and raising a baby is hard, but the rewards of both are far greater.

Answer 8

Ok hon, I got pregnant at 20 also, I am now 35 weeks pregnant and I will tell you that when i found out I was scared to death, I considered abortion but I couldn't do it because its not the babys fault. And yes there is a baby in there, one with eyes ears a nose and a heart and a brain. Don't go through with abortion because if you dont want to keep the baby give him/her up for adotion, there are so many people that cant have babys and that baby is a gift. I am so glad I kept my nany because he will be born in a few short weeks and to hear his heart beat and see his sonogram pictures was awesome. If you don't want to get married then dont. You dont have to marry him, I didnt marry mine, but mine isnt even around, he dropped me like a hot potato when i got pregnant.

Just remember there is a life inside you who wants to live also, tell your mom that you sure are glad she didnt have an abortion with you. Give this baby a chance at life, please.

Answer 9

As a father, I could never imagine aborting my children.

Your boyfriend helped to produce this child, so he has some say so in this situation. I would commend you for keeping the child. Your mother will always be your mother, no matter if you get married or not. Eventually she will come around to your way of thinking, just a thought.

Answer 10

What is wrong with your stupid mother? She wants you to kill her grandchild? 20 is not too young. I was 19 and pregnant. My boyfriend wanted to marry me also. I did. That was 21 years ago. We are still together and very much in love. This was the sort of thing you should have discussed before having sex. You need to be ready for the responsibility of sex before you do it. Now go and be responsible! Even if you don't want to marry the guy, at least have the decency not to kill his child. I know several girls who listened to mothers such as yours and have never gotten over it. They still have nightmares and depression. Abortion isn't like getting a wart removed!