anybody eles feel cheated by the fairytale you expected from marriage?

Question

Why is it that everyone romantizes marriage! It is so much hard work. Do you not feel that as women?men we have been cheated. The fairy tale that we expected is not there.

Answer 1

Marriage is not the 50/50 proposition that you were told it is. Some times it's 60/40. Some times it's 20/80. Sometimes you'll swear it's 140/0, and sometimes it takes 80/80 to make it work. Only you can say if it's worth your while to stay in it. I saw your other question that said you had an affair, and weren't sure if you can continue. That's up to you. You have to ask yourself - are you and your children better off staying with him, or divorcing?

Another thing - you say he is older, and has done a lot of things, and works a lot. Have you told him how you feel about this? Can you make him see that you'd like some time with him?

Answer 2

Marriage takes 100/100 from both parties, not 50/50. A 50/50 marriage means that both parties are only doing half of what they need to do. The problem is that everybody gets sold a bill of goods about how much of a fairy tale marriage is supposed to be, but we forget about all the crap our parents went through, and our parents don't even have the guts to tell us what kind of work a good marriage takes. I don't feel that we were cheated, but that we cheated ourselves, and one of the main reasons for divorce is that, we expect the other person to change or work, and we are not willing to change or do the work on ourselves.

Answer 3

Yes, I feel cheated. At first thought that that falling in love is so romantic and forever, just like fairy tale stated "happily ever after". But now, its really too late for me to realise that "Love do change and its not forever", its depend on the couple. Its need two faithfull person to put effort to make a marriage work and forever. Unfortunately I'm not the lucky person coz I married a unfaithfull husband.

Answer 4

I'm married for the second time and I feel that both of my marriages were nightmares after the brief good time. I treated both of my wife's like queens, I worked hard to support the family and would do absolutely anything to make her happy. My first marriage lasted 5 years until I caught her messing around and my second wife I busted having an affair after 2 years yet I held on to the dream that all would turn out just fine. The last 15 years have been hell, we have only made love 2 times in the past year. I am a great lover but she seems to have every excuse in the book. I'm very clean and attentive to her needs and I am a good looking guy, yet still she has become a mean, control freak that goes out of her way to intimidate and disrespect me. I'm a christian and for many years have told myself not to divorce but I am now sure that God wants me to be happy so a divorce is soon to come. Anyhow, in answer to your question, yes I do feel that the pretty picture that was presented to me was art in water colors that soon faded in the rain. I hope that all works out well for you. God Bless

Answer 5

I don't think being cheated is the right word to use. Reason why I say that is becuz before a couple get married it is a serious commitment. I would hope that most men/women have thought it out seriously. Also I would hope tha before they get married that they have a pretty good idea of what the other person is like already so that there are no surprises. I think the only people who feel they are cheated are the ones who watch too many date/romance movies.

Answer 6

I even have theory lots approximately relationship breakup. Later, i detect that the ruin is quite like the crossroad which 2 each and every person is on the comparable bus to a trip spot, quicker or later any party can exchange their recommendations and flow any incorrect way as they're happy to. in spite of if the crossroad is 5 months away or 10 years later, the crossroad continues to be there. there's no factor to be sorry or experience undesirable. what's considerable is to earnings to settle for the certainty.

Answer 7

Fairytale? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You're serious right? Instead of being swept off my feet, I was knocked off them. For my night at the ball, I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, and instead of dancing on that beautiful floor, I was washing it. The long blonde hair I have can't be let down for my rescuer to climb up because it's coated in mash potatoes from the baby and matted to my head. And that also means I'm still stuck in this fortress. As for my night in shining armour? His behind is magnetized to this huge thrown called a recliner six days a week! yup...some fairytale....I've been cheated!!!!! And to think after all this....I"m still foolish enough to think I've had it pretty good as far as marriages go!

Answer 8

I agree with you. Kids are taught the "happy ever after" to the point of stupidity. They think that marriage guarantees life ever lasting, romanitic love 24/7 ...hogwash. There should be classes in "DE-fairytaling" to prepare kids for the real world. But anytime anything is proposed for school, even sex education, parents are up in arms! Fools. It is the parents that have done this to kids, allowing the foolish beliefs that all will end up a Hollywood story. Sad, dumb, and very wasteful.

Answer 9

Yeah for sure it feels like I was lied to. But when it's still fantasy. It shapes your character. If you think about it its the best thing ever. Cause this is the man you hate, love, shares your hopes and dreams, you can talk to about anything, your best friend and the one you want to kill. Once you get old and grey the one that you won't be able to live without. I think that when we enter it we think it'll be roses. But it's not. It can be REALLY bad and REALLY good. At the end of the day though he has your back. That is if you didn't get a psycho.

Answer 10

No it is not a fairy tale that is for sure. I guess it is what you make of it. This is my second marriage and it is on its way south too. I will never marry again-my nerves can't take it-lol.