Is he trying to tell me he's bothered by it...or ishe saying I need not gain anymore?...He claims I'm not fat enough to bother him and he didnt know I was carryig that much so I must be carrying it well.
2006-08-03 15:21:03 · 28 answers · asked by Direktor 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is he probably cheating?
2006-08-03 15:35:37 · update #1
I doubt if he is cheating.
Sounds like he is trying to tell you not to gain any more weight. If you are bothered by his comment start losing weight. Looking good and having others (besides him) notice you is the best revenge for a comment like that. I ought to know since my husband says that I have gained weight but in reality have lost 10 pounds. The jerk.
2006-08-03 16:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure, he could have been more diplomatic, but at least he's honest. He's not bothered by your current size/weight, so consider yourself blessed! As someone who's also "carrying that much" and I'm newly single again, I'm very aware of how few men are interested in voluptuous women.
Besides, we already are at higher risk for more diseases being overweight, so maybe this is his way of trying to motivate you to be a bit healthier...
There's no way we can speculate from one remark he made whether he's cheating. It certainly didn't give me that impression the first time I read your question before you added the cheating reference. I got the impression that he loves you, and wants you to be healthy to enjoy a long and active life together. If other things are going on to make you doubt his faithfulness, describe them in a new question.
2006-08-03 22:24:40 · answer #2 · answered by HearKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, I think he knew.
Let's just say for your own health's sake, why not work out some, exercise some (you could take walks with him 2 or 3 times a week for a half hour or so) and try to lose maybe only 10-15 lbs.?
If he reacts positively, then you can safely go ahead and lose a little more, secure in the knowledge that he really did know.
2006-08-03 22:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably kicking himself right now for expressing himself so poorly. BOTH of you would benefit from having a better conversation about this issue.
Wait until you both feel calm, then have a conversation. You can start by sharing how you feel. Do you want to lose weight? Do you think he wants you to lose weight? Then, you can ask how he feels.
It might be that he really was trying to hint to you that he wants you to lose weight -- if nothing else, because he wants you to stay healthy! Maybe the two of you can start a new exercise activity together or learn to cook each other healthy food.
But you should tell him that his comment stressed you out and hurt your feelings!
2006-08-03 22:26:25 · answer #4 · answered by llemma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shallow how guys are sometimes... what if you told him ( ya know, I like your manhood but I wish it was BIGGER) he would probably feel as awkward. Has he falling in love with YOU or the appearance of you? Men! Maybe if they would appreciate our total package they would be happier...they are always wanting the perfect 10 model figure but what do they have to offer? Sheesh.. Be happy hun and don't conform to someone else's opinion of how you should look.
2006-08-03 22:30:15 · answer #5 · answered by passionate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't communicate well (you knew that though). He is probably trying to say both things. He cares for you and wants you to be healthy. Instead of talking about a problem's emotional impact, guys prefer to come to a logical solution as quickly as possible.
For your health's sake, you need to exercise more....try to get him to go for a walk with you, and you can do it together. Even if he isn't overweight, exercising together is one of the best ways to be fit.
2006-08-03 22:26:28 · answer #6 · answered by Aemilia753 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he's saying don't gain anymore but at the same time encouraging you to loose some. By him saying that "your not fat enough to bother him" indicates that it does bother him on some level to have even brought it up.
2006-08-03 22:24:15 · answer #7 · answered by kitkool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't even try to figure it out. Negative remarks about someones physical appearance is just wrong. Do you say, I'd mind if you lost your hair? I'd mind if you got wrinkles? I'd mind if you couldn't perform!? Don't even go there with mind games.
Have a nice evening and dismiss the bull **** .
2006-08-03 22:33:27 · answer #8 · answered by harley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being that you are already overweight (I am too) could not necessarily be a turn off to him . . maybe he is concerned about your health . . most men don't like very large women in general . . I think you need to have a talk with him to find out what his exact concerns are so you are aware of them . . good luck
2006-08-03 22:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by wfgrg15001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's telling you he's tolerating your present obesity, but tolerance has reached its limits. 77 lbs overweight? Who are you trying to kid? You can't carry 77 excess pounds in any way that could be called well.
2006-08-03 22:27:27 · answer #10 · answered by Grist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋