I discovered my wife''s profile on an international dating and marriage website while she is away on vacation

Question

I sent my wife on a 10 week european vacation and while she was away, I discovered she had posted her profile on a marriage/dating website looking for a new husband. On it she says she has never been married and really likes sex and is looking for a reliable man for marriage. I am very reliable, and give her more sex than she can handle. How should I confront her about this. I do not think she knows that I have discovered what she has done. How should I respond, and how should I handle this situation with her. I need help..I thought we had a great marriage, but I am heartbroken over this discovery..Somebody give me some good advise..please! What should I do???

Answer 1

I like kukkeeme’s idea about responding to her listing, but I would add that it is possible that this is a pre-you profile.

Answer 2

First of all, what were "you" doing on an international dating and marriage website? No one just stumbles upon that kind of website. You had to have been browsing thru female profiles in order to see hers. I am not making any excuses for her, but you have to admit that you were wrong in being on the site just as she was. There is a lot more going on within your marriage than you care to realize. Why would you even want to be away from your wife for 10 weeks? Did you have some ulterior motive for sending her away? Did you go onto the dating site to find you some "companionship" while she was away? The two of you need to do some serious talking...soon.

Answer 3

I would definitely confront her about this. But do it in a calm and collected way. Don't yell, etc. Tell her you would like to have a serious conversation with her....turn off the TV, phones, etc. and have a serious, heartfelt and open conversation with her. Let her know that you were deeply hurt by this discovery and ask her to talk about what she believes is wrong with your marriage and how could you both go about fixing it. Let her talk openly without fear of you getting angry, although you may. Let her finish speaking and then let her know your feelings. Getting your feelings out and letting her know how you feel as well as letting her tell you how she is feeling may show her that you really care and are open to try and fix the problem not just glossing it over or blowing up. Maybe suggest seeking some counseling....although you may feel you had a great marriage, there is obviously something about it that she isn't satisfied with. If you love her, let her know this and ask her her opinions and let her talk freely and ask her that she do the same for you. The key to a good relationship is communication, I know you have heard that before, but it's true. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

I'm sorry that you are going through this. This is a very difficult situation for you to endure.

I has to be discussed. I would invite her to the computer, once you have her profile pulled up, and ask her to explain it. Be prepared for her to imply that she was simply having fun and it was harmless. Yet, let me assure you there's more going on inside her than she's talking about.

She's apparently feeling the "flame" in the marriage has dwindled to a tiny "spark." Ask her what the two of you can do to create the relationship to two of you both need and want. You may find that she really ready for a new beginning in the marriage. However, the profile would have to be deleted, and the computer would have to leave the house.

I'd say some counseling is definitely due at this point.

Answer 5

First of all, why did you send her on a 10 week vacation. You can not and should not be apart from your wife for that long if you can avoid it. You need to confront her immediately and let her know what you found. You then need to get a good counsler to assist with talking about the issues in your marriage. You think the marriage is great...obviously she does not. Oh yeah....you need to have some spirtuality/religion to reinforce your marital values/morals/committments.

Answer 6

geeeee
marriage is great but yet you send her away on a 10 WEEK vacation by herself without going with her

marriage is so great that you are looking at dating websites and accidentally run into her profile.

first question, why the hell are you on the website in the first place, i seriously doubt you were there looking for your wife, thats like calling a random phone number in paris right now hoping that your wife will answer.

second question, why didn't you go with her

third question why such a long vacation

fourth question, yea, the sex is great (for you) but what about for her

Answer 7

It is not necessarily true that she is acting upon any of it. It seems hard to believe if she is not, but many people actually fail to follow through with their online "hookups."

Regardless of what her response is after you confront her, you have to decide whether or not you will be able to trust her again. It's possible. Do not assume she is getting "stuffed by some cannoli" as someone said. Ha.

Answer 8

Print out her profile and confront her when she gets back. In the mean time think of what you want to do. Obviously she doesn't feel the same way about you. She should have had the decency to tell you personally.

Answer 9

The two of you need to start talkiing. Whether you tell her what you discovered really doesn't matter much probably. What does matter is that you start communicating with each other about what is going on in your marriage.

Answer 10

Maybe you could answer her dating profile and get her interested in you and when you think she's really into you then tell her it is you that has been emailing or chatting with her.
Or,,,,,,,you could tell her that you found her dating profile and ask her how you can fix your marriage. Go to counselling and good luck