Several years ago. I go into spouts of vagueness and often trip over myself. My memory is bad and today she admitted to me she was embarrassed of me. It really hurt. What sort of vitamins and food will help my situation. Already seeked medical advice, im on my own. I want to be able to be around my wife with her family without worrying she is thinking im clumsy.
2006-08-03 14:59:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is very difficult for a person to admit that a family member's illness or injury embarasses them. But, embarassement is a very real emotion. It must have taken quite a bit of courage for your wife to admit her embarassment, especially since as the other answers you have been given show the general view of how she has no right to feel embarassed let alone admit the feeling.
If you have had a tumour it is very likely that you are clumsy and vague at times and these are new experiences for your wife. You were't vague and clumsy when you got married. Honestly it must be hard for her to get used to this new man in her life.
Of course it will hurt you that your wife feels embarassed and you are right to feel your feelings just as she is right to feel her feelings.
Embarassment can develop from not knowing what to say or do to others when things go wrong. Some open and heartfelt discussion between the two of you may help her overcome her embarassment and may help you overcome your hurt.
As I don't know what kinds of things occured between your wife and her family while you were in hospital it is hard to comment on their reactions though I can imagine all kinds of things could have happened and been said.
Sit down with your wife and talk openly.
Accept her feelings are as real as yours.
Feelings are just feelings, not facts. ie. Just because she feels embarassed does not mean you are embarassing.
See if you can get some extra help with co-ordination talk to an occupational therapist and a physiotherapist.
A marriage counsellor will be able to help you both and give you a forum where you feel your marriage is supported while you resolve these very real situations.
I hope this helps.
2006-08-07 12:44:01 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to read about your problem. Please don't let it get you down too much. Are there no groups at the hospital you could join?
Your wife needs to talk to a neurologist and learn more about the operation you had. This way she may be a bit more understanding of what you went through and how your brain is now functioning.
I have a friend that had an operation on his brain to remove a tumor and he forgets his words, but luckily he has people around him that understand.
The problem isn't with you, it's with your wife. My heart bleeds for you and I feel anger towards your wife for her selfish way.
Maybe you need to find another doctor, because they may suggest exercises that can be done to help your brain work harder. I wish I could wave a magic wand for you, unfortunately I can't.
Maybe you should embarrass your wife by saying, in front of others, that her attitude only shows her ignorance, and maybe she should educate herself on neuorlogy before trying to embarrass people. (Do you think that would help?). I sure hope so.
Good luck with everything, and I do hope your wife becomes more thoughtful.
God bless you.
England UK
2006-08-05 15:55:34 · answer #2 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theoretically since you are aware of the situation and I assume the details that bother her, you should be able to use what information you get from her to keep yourself out of situations that facilitate the problem. For example: If you tend to trip alot, stay away from things you tend to trip over. If you drop things a-lot, avoid picking things unless neccessary. If you say things you should not, pay attention to your actions every minute and try to hold your tongue more than not. Don't be anti-social, just limit yourself. I can not believe doctors had no answers for you. Therapy, meds., SOMETHING! That would be doctors for you these days. My advice is go see OTHER doctors and get OTHER opinions and maybe see an occupational therapist who specializes in therapy devoted to problems like yours. Hope this helps. Don't feel bad about yourself. It is NOT your fault. Ginseng and Ginko beloba are good for memory. Talk to a professional nutritionist or doctor who specializes in homeopathics or herbology as forms of treatments. They would be able to help if conventional doctors can't. Just a few suggestions. Hope something works for you. Good Luck!
2006-08-03 15:17:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2015-01-28 12:21:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok firstly your doctor knows best.
the focus factor concept is crap. it contains no neurostymulants it contains nothing which increases neurological activity. it's a cheep placebo. it contains:
fatty acids-- used for energy, in large amounts, and people think they're good for them, they're wrong.
vitamins-- important to your life. but you can get these, and a better variety from a daily multivitamin pill
other random crap: which does nothing...
you need to talk to your wife. yes I'd be embarrassed too, but if you can come to laugh about it too that'd be great.
I know it'll be hard for you.
seek a second medical oppinion...
---
BTW ask your doctor/ second oppinion guy about
OT and PT (ocupational theropy and physical theropy)
2006-08-03 15:06:44 · answer #5 · answered by The greatest and the best. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you, it must be very hurtful to you for your wife to say she is embarrassed. Try to do things differently - this is supposed to stretch or limber up your brain to have better memory and function
2006-08-03 15:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by kukkeeme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she married you it was suppose to be for better or for worse with unconditional love she should be helping you not hurting you remember one persons trash is another ones gold you'll be like gold to someone else god will bless someone else with you.
2006-08-03 20:07:01 · answer #7 · answered by connie g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the problem is your wife. Seek marriage counseling to learn how to communicate to each toher about how you really feel.
2006-08-03 15:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because taste is directly linked to smell, I would have to pick the smell of one of my favorite foods... Let's see I really enjoy spicy things, and savory things, and sweet things... Hmm... Ah yes! My favorite flavor is vanilla so I would choose to be able to smell vanilla and thus taste it. ^_^
2016-03-26 22:17:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she may be hurt by the fact that you are not the same person (mentally) she married although she isn't expressing it very well. she needs someone to talk to and maybe therapy for herself and you
2006-08-03 15:07:26 · answer #10 · answered by Enigma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋