Does a boyfriends bad childhood, past etc. make for a bad relationship?

Question

When my boyfriend was younger his parents exposed him to drugs, a life style where he could do as he pleased (he was an only child), and so on. Now being a single mother myself in a 1 yr relationship, I wonder wether or not he will have the same responce with our future kids or even my current child. I also wonder wether or not it is a healthy relationship possiblity. He also has had a past (somewhat current) around drug distribution. Its never around my child or myself and he sayes once his clothing store is open he will stop. Will it ever stop? Does it mean he doesnt love or respect me if he does it knowing my feelings? As far as the relationship right now there isn't any problems other than this. His kind, sweet, affectionate.. I couldn't ask for more. But I have a huge feeling his career choice and past will make for a bad future....???

Answer 1

yes it can you maybe cant see it right know but you well
i no.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

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Answer 4

firstly I have to answer this honestly and it may seem harsh.
1) people adult life will be influenced by learnt behaviour
2) people can change, and ultimately we are responsible for our own actions and have the ability to change
3) if he pushed drugs, then this is one of the worse offences and if caught will serve a lengthy sentence
4) you say "Its never around my child or myself and he Say's once his clothing store is open he will stop" his drug customers are other peoples children, and I have heard so many drug dealers and users say I will stop when.............
If he wants to stop and really wants to stop be would be seeking the help now and doing it, are you really happy to live off the gains of crime and other peoples misery? In a way you are collaborating with his life style, you have a child.. you are putting your child in a similar position to which your partner was brought up? You can ask for more... for your child, a drug free environment, and if this guy messes up or gets caught by police or even rival suppliers, guess what.. you and your little one will be right there in the mess with him.. this may help you decide:
www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content/drgfreept1.html
www.drugscope.org.uk

Answer 5

I don't believe that the way a person is brought up is the only factor in how they behave. There are always ppl who are from a 'bad' upbringing but are decent responsible ppl having decided not to be like their parents. Some decent families also have their tearaways, so it's not just a case of how they were nutured. Probably it's to do with predisposition as much as anything.I believe it is possibe to change your life and do better if you want it enough.

Answer 6

Now comes the hard bit, you need to make a dicision and fast. He claims that he will stop when his shop opens but what happens if he needs extra money for something? He knows it will be easy money and he will do it again.

It may not have been around you or your child yet but it will be, do you want to risk you or your child getting hurt by this? Your child may walk around the house and pick up somethin ghe shouldn't and try and eat it.

I know you love this man which is why I understand this is a hard position your in but you need to think about you and your child not him in this one.

Hope all works out for you.

Take Care

Answer 7

ppl like him are 80% likely to repeat there behavor there parents have started ...he grew up and ubsorbed everything he could from his parents and he will most likey keep it goin for the rest of his life ...if he knows it hurts u and if he really loves u he would stop ....girl he might seem like a great guy now but things can change fatser then u can imagin and things could get worse...do wats best for u and ur child and leave this guy as soon as u can and try not to stay to close cause if cops arest him they could get u too trust me my uincle is a cop i would no... i hope u make a good choice watever u do make sure u take care of ur child and u

Answer 8

This is a difficult one...

Having a bad childhood doesn't make for a bad person - if anything it makes for a stronger person and someone who wants a much better life for their kids..

As for drugs - hmmm.... Unless he can honestly say he's 100% clean then I would keep this man at arms length.

You have children to consider. Do you want your children exposed to drugs and the possible side effects? Do you want your childrens futures ruined???

Answer 9

I dont think its always the case he might see what he missed out on as a child and want to give to ur current child what he couldnt have as a kid. As it is, he seems to be doing well to be opening a clothing store so hes getting on in life as for the drugs hopefully he wil see sense there and give them up.
Best of luck to ye.

Answer 10

First of all I can related too this story, because i had the same life style. Believe him when he tells you he will stop once his clothing store is open. His doing what his doing to accomplish that goal, so he could stop doing what his doing he needs to accomplish this task; with a clothing store he is going to start makeing money legally, he will stop and do good until **** start ppoping up..

Answer 11

It definetely did in mine.
My ex and I were in love, but things turned sour because of his childhood.
The more closer we got the more I supportive I was for him, which ended up backfiring on me.
He got too comfortable and started taking his anger out on me. All his problems with his parents and his family: I took all the ****.
I tried to be there for him at first, but it got to the point where I couldn't handle it anymore and I started falling out of love, then started to despise him, then I left.
A relationship that seemed so perfect was destroyed because of his bad childhood.