i ask this because everyone i know that is married end up in divorce,including my own mother. And everyone i know that has kids is a single parent struggling. i don't wanna end up like this. My bf asked me to marry him and move in with him...he even asked me to have his baby...i love him to death, and im thinking about actually marrying him, but i don't want it to end up like all the others i've seen...what do u think about this??
2006-08-03 11:52:14 · 10 answers · asked by RedBoNe 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well i know i answered another question of yours but ill answer this too. I am a 26 yo male and i was married. It lasted 7 years until Christmas 2005. I got married at 19 and part of that was because we had a child together. But each relationship is different. I think part of our problem is that we did everything so young and never gave our relationship time. I think that moving in with him is a great idea. You will see how you two react to each other. If you are thinking about marring him then move in and just give it some time to really get to know him. Don't rush it k. If you are meant to marry him then trust me the time will come.
2006-08-03 12:30:58 · answer #1 · answered by my4x4truck454 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
No of course it isn't wrong! You are entitled to your feelings! There is nothing bad about not wanting to have kids and besides you may change your mind later but even if you don't then that is perfectly fine! We are living in the 21st century woman not the medieval times! If you want to move in with your boyfriend or marry him then do it but if you don't then simply don't! Do not do anything out of guilt or what is the proper thing because then you will surely end up in divorce. Ask the people around you (who are divorced) how they felt about getting married. Some of them may have done it out of feeling obligated and now look at them. As far as kids, that is not something you should EVER commit to unless you are 1000 percent certain that is what you want otherwise a child will be born unto a mother who did not want it and it will be a life long regret for all.
Bottom line, you do what feels right to YOU! This is your only life so you live it the way you want to!
Best to you!
2006-08-03 19:03:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not a bad thing to not want to get married or have children. But you need to be up front with bf's so they can move on if that's their choice.
I think you do want marriage and kids, you just don't want a divorce and the hurt that goes with it.
If and when you're ready to marry, ask your partner what he would do so you'd NEVER divorce.
2006-08-03 18:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by cowgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it a try, children bring such joy and love into your life wheather your marriage works out or not, the children are worth it. I wouldn't trade not having mine for anything and my marriage didn't work out. NOt to say that yours will fail. I don't want to scare you. But if you are married without a prenuptual, you don't have anything to worry about as far a struggling is concerned unless your husband is broke anyway. If you two are compatible on many different levels, then go for it. I know- to ease your fears why don't you both agree to be tested for compatibility. They have psychological testing for that kind of thing and you can go to religious premarital counselling to help as well.
2006-08-03 19:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT'S NOT BAD BUDDY,I FEEL THESAME. BUT,BUTBUT, ITS A CHOICE AND NEEDS A LOT OF DECISION MAKING.AND BE REASY FOR ALL THE CONSEQUENCES.iT'S LONE TO LIVE ALONE BUT IF YOU THINK YOUR GOING TO BE MISERABLE WITH YOUR MAN, WHY GROW OLD WITH HIM.BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS,YOU JUST HAVE TO WORK ON IT SO YOU WONT END UP LIKE OTHERS. LOOK FOR ROLE MODELS. IT'S NOT BEING SINGLE OR BEING MARRIED THAT MAKES LIFE MISERABLE, IT'S ALL UP TO YOU AND THE THINKING WILL BE OF HELP. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO IT,,,YOU WILL.IF YOU THINK YOU CAN'T, YOU CAN'T.
2006-08-03 19:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by angelica b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because everyone else ends up in divorce doesn't mean you will..If you are truly in love with your boyfreind and he loves you then I see no reason not to get married...
2006-08-03 19:03:28 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes if u want the world 2 end faster
2006-08-03 18:57:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is very wrong to feel that way. Allah put you here to serve a man and bear his children. Marrige's only end in divorce when women is not obidient to her husband in everything he says.
2006-08-03 18:56:25 · answer #8 · answered by rajjfahneen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that's how you feel than all power to you. It's nice to try a relationship and take it as it comes. Also, it depends how much effort you put into your relationship. Good luck.
2006-08-03 19:17:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to take a chance in life and maybe it will turn out fine. If not then life goes on. Nobody is perfect people make mistakes...... Good Luck!
2006-08-03 18:58:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋