Do you think my girlfriend is making a mistake?

Question

My friends on again, off again boyfriend got a job in another state.

He has asked my friend to quit her job and leave everything she knows to move away with him. The only thing is, he's told her that he doesn't want to make her any promises of marriage.

I think he wants to use her for his safety net. And it would be a huge mistake if she went with him.

What do you think?

Answer 1

It might be a mistake, but it is hers to make. Friends will never be able to convince someone that what they intend to do is a mistake. Let her learn her lesson now so she can move back and have you there to support her. No I told You so's, if you are her friend

Answer 2

Well Tina, I was about to make a sarcastic remark for you telling me to go back into my cave yesterday, but that is not the Christian thing to do now is it? Yes I will have to agree with you. If your girlfriend runs off with this guy she will without a doubt be making one of the biggest mistakes of her life. What is up with that jackass boyfriend of hers? He expects her to make a major committment to him, while offering her nothing in return. If your girlfriend continues to be this guys doormat, he will continue to walk on her. In this case you are absolutely right. He is using her as a safety net. She will be a damn fool if she leaves with him. Hopefully, you can talk some sense into her. I will be praying for you and your friend. Excuse me for using the D word but it seemed appropriate. This is the Cave man signing out. Peace and God bless.

Answer 3

You're right. I sure wouldn't move away with him if he told me that he wasn't gonna make promises of marriage. You only move away with someone if you know you're gonna be with them for a long long time, or perhaps forever. If they've broken up alot since they've been together, I think it's best she let go of him, and let him do his thing, so she can do hers. It's not even right of him to even suggest her giving up everything just for him. Sounds to me like he's trying to tell her what to do. She's got a life to live. I think she's making a huge mistake if she moves away with him.

Answer 4

If she does quit her job and leave everything behind for him, yes she will be making a huge mistake and it won't take her very long to realize it. Especially with him telling her straight up that he has no intentions of marriage(that's a red flag) of being set up for being dumped when he no longer finds a use for her. It all comes down to his convience.

Answer 5

No way. When a guy is serious about a girl he will "pop" the question and it isn't "Will you live with me". On again off again indicates that he isn't that serious. He probably knows that she will keep waffling and he can get milk from this cow....

Sometimes our lack of self-esteem keeps us in relationships that are not right for us because we fear being left behind. Better to let him go and see if she can find someone who is really into her.

Answer 6

I guess she's never seen the show Roseanne and what happened to Becky after she married Mark. Tell her a boyfriend she doesn't have a full commitment with is not worth giving up all she knows.

Answer 7

If he is not willing to agree to a commitment with her, he is clearly using her as a "back up plan" or "safety net". She should NOT go.

Answer 8

Definatley making a mistake. But she has to figure it out on her own. If someone else makes the decision for her, she may resent them.

Answer 9

I think it would be a mistake. Why leave everything for someone who won't promise you anything?

Answer 10

I think she needs to be reminded how unstable her relationship has been and why. Talk to her candidly about how often they have broken up and why they broke up. It isn't wise to go with him even if he does promise marriage, in my opinion.