the best quote gets 10 points?

Answer 1

he that is without sin cast the first stone


jesus

Answer 2

Subject: some slip ups!!

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband
when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
George Burns

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?"
She said,
"In the lake."
Henny Youngman

Never go to bed mad.
Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman

After a quarrel,a wife said to her husband, "You know, I
was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and
didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months -
I don't like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided
not to report it because the thief was spending less than
his wife did.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant
with friends. You order what you want,then when you see
what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that

Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it
cost to get married?"
The father replied,
"I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

A man placed an ad in the classifieds:
"Wife wanted.
" The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that
you never get to prove it.

A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied,
"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest
cheat in Europe

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than
single men. It only seems longer

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my
case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all -
money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of
a beautiful woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!" "What
happened?" asked his friend. "My wife found out...

Just think, if it weren't for marriage,men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.

I think one of the greatest things about marriage is
that as both husband and father, I can say anything I
want to around the house. Of course, no one pays
the least bit of attention

A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend. A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have
whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law
gets double. The man thinks for a moment and
then says, "Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me half
to death."

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for
marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive
way to get your laundry done free.

The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.

Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is
packing your parachute

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.

How do you know when a woman is about to
say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

Our last fight was my fault:
My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said,
"Dust!"

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two Mothers-in-law.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested. Then God created
Woman. Since then, Neither God nor Man has rested.

______________ _____________ __________ __________ ___

i personally use "living is easy with eyes closed"

AnswerMan

Answer 3

Beware of the leader, who strikes the war drum in order to transfer the citizens into patriotic glow, patriotism is indeed a double-sided sword. It makes the blood so boldly, like it constricts the intellect. And if the striking of the war drum reached a fiebrige height and the blood is cooking and hating, and the intellect is dismissed, the leader doesn't need to reject the citizens rights. The citizens, cought by anxiety and blinded through patriotism, will subordinate all their rights to the leader and this even with happy courage. Why do I know that? I know it, because this is, what I did. And I am Gajus Julius Cäsar.

Answer 4

Toss up ~

* An oak tree is just a nut that stood it's ground.

* The funny thing about life is, if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

* Don't argue with an idiot, people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Answer 5

"Imagine, "stalking elk past department store windows and stinking racks of beautiful rotting dresses and tuxedos on hangers; you'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life, and you'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. Jack and the beanstalk, you'll climb up through the dripping forest canopy and the air will be so clean you'll see tiny figures pounding corn and laying strips of venison to dry in the empty car pool lane of an abandoned superhighway stretching eight-lanes-wide and August-hot for a thousand miles." ~ Tyler Durden from Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club

Answer 6

'A friend is one, to whom one may pour out all the contents of ones heart.
Knowing that that the gentlest of hands will take it, grind and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away'

Old Arabian Proverb

'You're born alone,
you die alone,
so why follow others'

Bob Dylan

'There are two types of people in life. Those who work hard to achieve and those who take all the credit. Try to belong to the first group, there's far less competition.'

Dwight Morrow

Answer 7

You didn't say what kind you were looking for, so I included here some of my favorites.


Life has taught me that it is not for our faults that we are disliked and even hated, but for our qualities. ~Bernard Berenson

An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't. ~Anatole France

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel ~Carl W. Buechner

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off;
and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.
~Russell Lynes

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.~Ferris Bueller

Answer 8

The present life of men on earth, O king, as compared with the whole length of time which is unknowable to us, seems to me to be like this: as if, when you are sitting at dinner with your chiefs and ministers in wintertime...one of the sparrows from outside flew very quickly through the hall; as if it came in one door and soon went out through another. In that actual time it is indoors it is not touched by the winter's storm; but yet the tiny period of calm is over in a moment, and having come out of the winter, it soon returns to the winter and slips out of your sight. Man's life appears to be more or less like this; and of what may follow it, or what preceded it, we are absolutely ignorant.
-- The Venerable Bede c. 672-735

Answer 9

"Destiny is not aa matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved"
-William Jennings Bryant

"Be not afraid of greatness: some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them."
-William Shakespeare

"Cultivate your curiosity. Keep it sharp and always working.Consider curiosity your life preserver, your willingness to try something new. Second, enlarge your enthusiasm to include the pursuit of excellence, following every task through to completion."
-John W. Hanley


"Climb high
Climb far
Your goal thte sky
Your aim the star"
-Williams College

"Ask, and it shall be given you;seek and you shall find;knock, and it shall be opened unto you" - Matthew 7:7

Answer 10

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning,
why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting
anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the
Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the
smartest race of people on earth.

Will Rogers

Answer 11

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
Jack London
US adventurer, author, & sailor (1876 - 1916)