He will call me big butt mama, and draw attention to my tummy. I have to add, I am not overweight, I don't think, I am 5'7 and weigh 145lbs. I try to keep fit, and I think my imagine of myself is getting worse everyday. I find myself skipping meals and only drinking water or diet pop. How should I comfort my husband about these comments? He always laughs when he says it, but I am wondering if he really feels this way. He especially comments on me when we are watching a movie and a really skinny girl comes on and he always comments on how that is how a women should look. HElp!!
2006-08-03 11:15:46 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
here is what you do: you tell your husband you are nipping this in the bud right now. he is to stop... making cracks about your weight like right now.... you have had enough. you do not point out his flaws...and believe me there are a few... you could name. but you are not going to let him tear away your self esteem..and if he wants someone different then feel free. tell him it will be hard to get rid of him.BUT..it is a matter of your survival or his...and you vote for yourself. say it like you mean it and follow through. life will only get worse if you do not stop it NOW. i have seen things like this blow up and women adopt eating disorders... depression,. believe me honey it is not worth it. tell him.. the JOKES STOP NOW.
2006-08-03 11:24:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your husband has some other kind of problem that he is covering up by picking on you. Sounds like your weight is just right for your height. You didnt mention if you have children or not, but if not, I would think twice before I did have children with someone who is this insensitive. It may be as simple as jealousy; that he thinks you look just fine too, but he's also afraid that someone else will find you attractive so he tries to crush your self-confidence. Sounds like he's doing a pretty good job!
I'm fairly sure he's not perfect, so the next time he picks on you, just TELL him that he hurts your feelings when he does that and ask him how he would feel if you kept pointing out HIS faults.
Better yet, when you're watching that movie with the skinny girl, look for one of those hunky guys and tell him that THAT's how you'd like him to look!
2006-08-03 13:34:32 · answer #2 · answered by sixftrd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, the bottom line is this! You are not on this earth to please your husband!
"What? But isn't the wife suppose to...?"
Marriage is a partnership. An EQUAL partnership. You're both supposed to try and please EACH OTHER!!!
If he cracks on your appearance and it makes you "uncomfortable" tell him! Your self-image is not an issue that requires compromise. When you get unhappy with the way you look then you do something about it.
How much does he weigh?
My wife has gained and lost a couple hundred pounds collectively over the 30 years that we've been together and the only time I even concerned myself with her weight was two years ago when the doctor told us both to lose weight for health reasons. Guess what? We did! Together!
Look to make a marriage work you are going to have to communicate. Stop wondering and confront the issue straight up.
2006-08-03 11:39:52 · answer #3 · answered by Dahs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's giving you a hint here... Have you gained weight since you've been married? You don't sound "overweight", but he may just have a preference for skinnier-than-average girls.
Ideally, your self-esteem should not depend on him, but in the real world it helps if your husband finds you attractive. Ideally, he shouldn't be such an a** about it... But, realistically, what is he supposed to do - sit down with you and tell you he thinks you're fatter than you should be? Guys just can't do that. Take his hints to heart, and decide whether it's important enough for you to make an effort and lose a few lbs. Otherwise... just ignore him; sounds like he insists on continuing to be insensitive!
2006-08-03 11:28:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey if u really think it is a big deal the it is up 2 u 2 loose the weight but if u r happy about how u look then just brush it off ur shoulders, pick on him when a hott guy comes on t.v u commet on how that guy looks an if he get mad just keep watching the movie he will get the hint.
2006-08-03 11:23:57 · answer #5 · answered by Iyesha_ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am 5"2 and weigh about, what you weight and I dont' think I am near fat. I think your husband might have issues with himself and taking them out on you. To me you sound very healthy. Besides you skipping meals and only drinking diet pop and water will only hurt you in the long run. By you skipping meals only slows your metabolism down and eventually you will gain. tell him to keep quiet and go get yourself a brownie. You sound perfect to me good luck.
2006-08-03 11:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does he look, slim, medium, fat. bald. You could do the same thing to him. Maybe you are little over weight, but has long as your happy that is what count. Tell him you decided to lose a little weight and the other men will look at you as he does those women, Maybe then he will leave you along. Cut out breads, potatoes, , eat non fat foods. Drink diet or caffene free drinks. Eat what you wnt but try to keep it to under 1,200 at least a day. Some vegs, and fruit. good luck Pem
2006-08-03 11:27:59 · answer #7 · answered by Patricia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
half the time you joke about something, it's usually serious. The fact that you're not what he wants you to be is very sad. My husband loves all of me at 170 lbs with a 5'1 frame and always tells me how beautiful I am even when I don't always feel that way. we had our first child and am finding it difficult to lose weight. Ask him what he thinks of your body and go from there. Good luck!
2006-08-03 11:24:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ruth R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if he's serious but he is definitely inconsiderate. I think the next time he makes those hurtful comments you should tell him that you don't like them and that they hurt your feelings. maybe he doesn't say them to upset you. may be he is joking, but you never know until you confront him about it. Bad comments are not worth you ruining your health over so stop skipping meals because that is not going to accomplish anything.
2006-08-03 11:22:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to shut the hell up and take a look at himself for a second! He probably ain't perfect either. And tell him if he don't like it them move on! Then when you calm down talk to him about how he is making you feel. And ask him why he married you in the first place was it for looks or something else?
2006-08-03 11:20:54 · answer #10 · answered by terrbeary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By your numbers, you are definitely not overweight. He is being passive-aggresive by pointing out "flaws" in you, rather than owning up to his many flaws. You have to watch out for that, because he'll keep trying to egg you on over and over. That's a real personality defect. I wish you luck. Try talking to him and turn the tables on him - ask why he feels so badly about himself that he has to try put you down instead.
2006-08-03 11:29:41 · answer #11 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋